All the Fables That Fit
Claims Disputed in River-Crossing Incident
“Why did you sting me?” asked the Frog
“It’s just my nature,” replied the Scorpion.
Survivors of the Frog argue that the Scorpion willfully injured it. Attorneys for the Scorpion’s estate say the Frog knew and acknowledged the risks going in.
• • •
Wolf Alleges Unlicensed Operation
“All the better to eat you with!” cried the Wolf, devouring Little Red Riding Hood on the spot.
The Hunter doesn’t deny attacking the Wolf with an axe, but claims it was to rescue two people trapped inside.
• • •
Alleged Theft Goes to Trial
“Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an English man.”
Items stolen include a bag of gold, a goose, and a harp, according to prosecutors. Defense attorneys say the items were originally owned by the defendant’s family, but declined to provide proof of provenance. An additional wrongful-death charge will be tried separately.
• • •
Homeowners Sue Over Faulty Construction
“I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll bloooooow your house down!” yelled the Wolf.
Representatives for the contractor said the straw and stick houses were built to local codes, but advocates for the pigs argued that a previous brick mandate was removed following significant campaign contributions.
• • •
Recall Issued After Carriage Mishap
“Be sure to return by midnight!” said the Fairy Godmother.
The agricultural trade group agreed to the recall without admitting responsibility, saying the incident was an unauthorized use of pumpkins and not covered by warranty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FzIMi9ubZA
One of my favorite Loony Tunes cartoons
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…