All the Fables That Fit
Claims Disputed in River-Crossing Incident
“Why did you sting me?” asked the Frog
“It’s just my nature,” replied the Scorpion.
Survivors of the Frog argue that the Scorpion willfully injured it. Attorneys for the Scorpion’s estate say the Frog knew and acknowledged the risks going in.
• • •
Wolf Alleges Unlicensed Operation
“All the better to eat you with!” cried the Wolf, devouring Little Red Riding Hood on the spot.
The Hunter doesn’t deny attacking the Wolf with an axe, but claims it was to rescue two people trapped inside.
• • •
Alleged Theft Goes to Trial
“Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an English man.”
Items stolen include a bag of gold, a goose, and a harp, according to prosecutors. Defense attorneys say the items were originally owned by the defendant’s family, but declined to provide proof of provenance. An additional wrongful-death charge will be tried separately.
• • •
Homeowners Sue Over Faulty Construction
“I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll bloooooow your house down!” yelled the Wolf.
Representatives for the contractor said the straw and stick houses were built to local codes, but advocates for the pigs argued that a previous brick mandate was removed following significant campaign contributions.
• • •
Recall Issued After Carriage Mishap
“Be sure to return by midnight!” said the Fairy Godmother.
The agricultural trade group agreed to the recall without admitting responsibility, saying the incident was an unauthorized use of pumpkins and not covered by warranty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FzIMi9ubZA
One of my favorite Loony Tunes cartoons
¡ANDREW! • Our Ukrainian Friend Even now all of the Republinazis fully support installing Prezinazi AntiChrist as a dictator. He…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Our Ukrainian Friend Can we call it the Stephen King Presidency yet?
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Our Ukrainian Friend @nojo: I know! Totally unfair!
NOJO • Our Ukrainian Friend @FlyingChainSaw: I did? But I’m the one who repurposed the NatLamp dog cover to bitch about…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Our Ukrainian Friend @nojo: Well, it has limits for satire. You stopped me from using a graphic of Sarah Palin with a…
¡ANDREW! • American Denialism Our biggest problem is that we were raised to believe that the United States works, like as a…
NOJO • Our Ukrainian Friend @FlyingChainSaw: Stinque has good taste?
¡ANDREW! • Our Ukrainian Friend Good news: After some exhaustive research, thanks to the Cook Political Report and Ballotpedia, I…
¡ANDREW! • Our Ukrainian Friend I’ve always found it baffling that real democracies ever looked to the US for leadership–I…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Our Ukrainian Friend @nojo: Right, but would it be worthwhile and within the bounds of Stinque good taste to describe…