All the Fables That Fit
Claims Disputed in River-Crossing Incident
“Why did you sting me?” asked the Frog
“It’s just my nature,” replied the Scorpion.
Survivors of the Frog argue that the Scorpion willfully injured it. Attorneys for the Scorpion’s estate say the Frog knew and acknowledged the risks going in.
• • •
Wolf Alleges Unlicensed Operation
“All the better to eat you with!” cried the Wolf, devouring Little Red Riding Hood on the spot.
The Hunter doesn’t deny attacking the Wolf with an axe, but claims it was to rescue two people trapped inside.
• • •
Alleged Theft Goes to Trial
“Fee-fi-fo-fum! I smell the blood of an English man.”
Items stolen include a bag of gold, a goose, and a harp, according to prosecutors. Defense attorneys say the items were originally owned by the defendant’s family, but declined to provide proof of provenance. An additional wrongful-death charge will be tried separately.
• • •
Homeowners Sue Over Faulty Construction
“I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll bloooooow your house down!” yelled the Wolf.
Representatives for the contractor said the straw and stick houses were built to local codes, but advocates for the pigs argued that a previous brick mandate was removed following significant campaign contributions.
• • •
Recall Issued After Carriage Mishap
“Be sure to return by midnight!” said the Fairy Godmother.
The agricultural trade group agreed to the recall without admitting responsibility, saying the incident was an unauthorized use of pumpkins and not covered by warranty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FzIMi9ubZA
One of my favorite Loony Tunes cartoons
NOJO • A Kind of Hash @¡Andrew!: Not yet, but I’m sure I can borrow one from a neighbor on the…
¡ANDREW! • A Kind of Hash @nojo: Oh wow! Congratulations on the move. Hope it's going well. I assume that you now have a…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • A Kind of Hash For the Ex-Mo contingent... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1W0pDpDBqE
NOJO • A Kind of Hash @¡Andrew!: Never made it, and too late now — I’ve been in Brooklyn since May.
¡ANDREW! • A Kind of Hash @nojo: So, have you dined at Casa Bonita yet? It seems to be the primary cause of mass insanity in…
¡ANDREW! • A Kind of Hash I hope Taylor Swift figured out a way to unleash her flying monkeys/army of lawyers against Tr666p…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • A Kind of Hash Team Kamala/Walz/Swifty
NOJO • A Kind of Hash Nothing in my life goes to waste.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • Harris-Kelly ’24 HARRIS QUOTES TOWER OF POWER IN DEBATE: TURN THE PAGE !
¡ANDREW! • Harris-Kelly ’24 Happy Labor Day to all the Losers and the Suckers and the Haters MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!