Sheeeeit

It’s white people doing this. 53% of white women and 67% of non-college educated white people voted for Trump. As a Black person, there’s not shit I can do about this.

This is on you white people.

A friend’s son who’s an oil field worker in Oklahoma posted this on Facebook. I replied that on behalf of liberals, I accept this deal. The part that KILLS me is that they think trickle down economics works.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS INCREDIBLY WELL-PUT, AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT’S WRITTEN BY A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I’LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets, since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

—We don’t like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

–You can keep Oprah, Whoopi, Bill Maher, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all five of them.

–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks.

–We’ll keep Bill O’Reilly and Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

–When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLaine. You can also have the UN., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

–We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.

–You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.

–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”

–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine,” “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing,” “Kum Baya,” or “We Are the World.”

–We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle-up poverty your best shot.

–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take George Clooney, Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Short, Charlie Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and (Hanoi) Jane Fonda with you.

P.P.S. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

Forward This Every Time You Get It !

Let’s Keep This Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sink in.

More to the point of this post:
Though nojo and I are about the same age, I grew up in SC, while he was in a liberal college town. I’ve NEVER believed people are mostly good. I saw the evil every day growing up–and I was a very privileged white girl.
I’d say the majority of white Southerners of all ages agree with Trump. Finally, they no longer have to pretend to be decent human beings to attract “bidness” investment for more enlightened areas. They’re free to say what they’ve always thought.

@Mistress Cynica: I am, as ever, a nice white boy from Oregon.

And your FB friend is in for a surprise when we split and he learns whose taxes have been subsidizing his sorry cracker ass.

@Mistress Cynica: I get it from both my parents, but I really get it from my mom. When the Diane Downs story was unfolding, she just couldn’t understand how a mother could drown her kids. I told her you have to take it from the other direction, that it did happen, and work backwards to understand the psychology.

I come from a long line of Marge Gundersons. Grandma was like that, too.

@Mistress Cynica: Snopes, while unable to determine if John J. Wall wrote that shit, says that thing has been circulating since at least 2009. What happened in 2008? Oh, right…

@HillRat: I know, huh? Dear White People, get your shit together. Many thanks, POCs.

Oh! One day last week, I saw three young black people walk past my house. So awesome. Later I saw three DIFFERENT black people walk by. SMDH

@JNOV: Wait, I thought you were in the Pacific Northwest.

@nojo:
No shit. Especially as he doesn’t get that HIS LOW STATE Taxes were subsidized by the Blue States. Makes one almost regret the rural electrification and TVA power projects.

As for the NRA, their top leadership has been exposed as cleptocratic grifters paid in large part by RUSSIA.

@Mistress Cynica: The major problem here is what happens when Texass decides to nuke California over its gawdlessness, or Alabama launches a biological weapon at Illinois after a trade dispute. Psychotic crackers with weapons of mass destruction and no value of life after birth don’t make a happy combo.

Moscow Mitch is Putin’s bitch.
He’s betrayed us all, and now he’s rich, rich, RICH!

@¡Andrew!: I’m fascinated that he’s suddenly worried about his reputation. Clearly Scarborough got to him.

@nojo: Grab the smelling salts, Aunt Pittypat, Moscow Mitch’s cover’s been burned.

Once Ben Carson gets bounced, Tr666p is gonna install the zombie corpse of Josef Mengele at Health Human “Services.” Don’t think he won’t do it…

/seen online/

“I’m glad that Obama killed Osama bin Laden before Tr666p could become best friends with him.”

Don’t mind me, just wondering what the fuck I can write about this weekend that I haven’t written repeatedly.

It’s incredible to think that if 30 Americans had been killed in three separate ISIS terrorist attacks in a matter of days, everyone in this indecent nation would be flipping out, especially Tr666p, dumFux Nooz, and their Despicables.

However, since the massacres have been carried out by $hitler-loving, white trash supremacists, everyone, including the FBI, just shrugs and says nothing can be done.

And then there’s the RepubliKKKan politicians that are laughing all the way to the bank with their NRA gun lobby money that allow hate-crazed lunatics to murder as many people as possible. Vote them all out.

@nojo: Apparently Moscow Mitch broke his shoulder walking around his backyard. Carrying the water for Moscow, the NRA, and white supremacists apparently took its toll.

@SanFranLefty: I’d prefer it was the weight of his conscience, but I know that’s lighter than air.

Taking the dogs for a walk on the beach is the best cure for the news…

The brazenness of it all.

@SanFranLefty: We need to run that through the PR translator.

Fell at home = collapsed while blackout drunk.

Dehydration and exhaustion = cocaine overdose.

Spend more time with family = dead girl/live boy/criminal indictment about to hit the news.

I discovered that three people in my zip code donated to Dotard Judas Tr666p just this year! Horrifying. Check your zip code for a name ‘n shame of everyone funding white supremacist terrorist attacks.

https://www.fec.gov/data/receipts/individual-contributions/?data_type=processed&committee_id=C00580100&contributor_city=Seattle&two_year_transaction_period=2020&min_date=01%2F01%2F2019&max_date=12%2F31%2F2020

Almost kept the spam comment I just deleted, because it was all in Russian. Nice to know they’re thinking of us!

Uncle Joe, they aren’t gaffes anymore. Your mind is aging. It happens to the best of us. Even when you’re not gaffing away, you don’t sound quite right. Please go away.

@nojo: Har

@¡Andrew!: I don’t need to check my zip code. I know, man. I know.

Yeah, sure. Epstein “committed suicide” in a monitored jail cell, after double-knotting his own hands behind his back and then hoisting himself high enough to hang, no doubt.

“If you’re surprised Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide, imagine how surprised he was.”

The worst part is that we’ll never know if he’s really dead. All of the people involved are well-documented compulsive liars, so we know that whatever pathetic cover story comes out will be the opposite of the truth. I mean, Bill Barr’s father hired Epstein originally decades ago, and now he’s somehow offed himself in a federal prison overseen by (checks notes) Bill Barr! Uh huh.

And riiiiiiight before a flood of evidence that’s about to mysteriously vanish that would’ve directly implicated many of the most powerful men in our society in an international child sex trafficking ring.

Time to check the conga line at the Bu$h family compound in Paraguay to see if Epstein’s partying with Ken Lay and Osama bin Laden.

Epstein conspiracy theories presume prison competence. The MCC is not one of the better-run joints.

@nojo: Oh no worries. Pussolini’s DOJ & FBI—better known as the Department of Helping Rich White Men Get Away With It—are on the case.

@JNOV: And now he’s saying the Parkland survivors visited him in the White House.

Last year.

That’s not a gaffe. A gaffe is saying something stupid. That’s a… a… shit, I don’t know what to call it.

@nojo: Nononononono!

Biden said that? When he didn’t receive Obama’s endorsement, I wondered if Obama saw something we didn’t. Obviously Joe saw something we didn’t.

@¡Andrew!: Stand by for The Clintons Did It. Cue Cory.

@¡Andrew!: Haha! Silly me. Obama Did It. Cue that Cory dude.

Dude spells his name weirdly. Probably a Mormon. Let’s check, shall we?

My bad. Trey. Another weird name. Mormon search continues…

Trey – not Mormon. Mother’s name was Novalene, which is also a polymer and Amish Outlet coffee bar. I didn’t know such a thing existed. Anyway, yeah. Not Mormon.

Oh! Read “Educated.” The fundie Momo runs deep. Plus it’s a great read.

I’m praying to the FSM that Epstein had a dead man’s switch that would leak all of his decades of sleazy blackmail material online in the event of his untimely death. It’s the only way we’ll ever learn the truth.

Oh wow. THATCHER IS DEAD, JOE!

And Marijuana Mart is closed. Sadness.

Tree Octopus is yummy, and DoorDash is a stoner’s dream.

@¡Andrew!: IDK. The most evil people get away with awfully evil shit.

@nojo: A humble suggestion—how about writing about some good news? There must be some daylight in the darkness, and FSM knows we could all use a morale-booster for our sanity. I tried looking up good news, and it was 404ing.

Poll Finds 84% Say Americans Angrier Than Generation Ago

“Knowing most of these people are probably just mad over some dumb bullshit makes me so angry I could kill them.”

@¡Andrew!: You can follow James Fallows on Twitter. He’s made Good News in Local Communities his personal beat — stuff that makes a difference on the micro level.

Me, well… I keep looking for daylight, but I have yet to find any. I wanna be as honest with myself about that as I am the shitty stuff.

@¡Andrew!: The Laughing Heart? Bukowski was an abusive asshole, so this might work. Have you seen Waits read it?

@nojo: Great idea. I saw him and Deborah Fallows speak at a convention in LA in May, and I was really impressed. I don’t use social media, but I can check out their website.