Seven Experiments With Cats

Experiment #1

Methodology: Open the front door.

Result: Cat does not go out. Nor does cat stay in.

Conclusion: Cats are incapable of making up their own damn minds.

Experiment #2

Methodology: Scratch belly while cat in supine position.

Result: Blood.

Conclusion: Human hand bears resemblance to small mammal whose entrails must be disgorged.

Experiment #3

Methodology: Allow cat to rub chin with face.

Result: Puncture.

Conclusion: Humans are suckers who fall for it every time.

Experiment #4

Methodology: Locate cat for veterinarian appointment.

Result: Disappearance.

Conclusion: Cats live in multiple dimensions, selecting the one most amenable in a given moment.

Experiment #5

Methodology: Purchase expensive cat toy.

Result: Cat prefers paper bag it came in.

Conclusion: Don’t purchase expensive cat toys.

Experiment #6

Methodology: Investigate state of food dish at cat’s insistence.

Result: Full.

Conclusion: It is not the existence of food that is determinative, but the effort expended in refreshing it.

Experiment #7

Methodology: Open can of tuna fish.

Result: Mayhem.

Conclusion: People with sad-eyed dogs at the dinner table don’t know how good they have it.

Cats Might Not Act Like It, But They Know Their Names As Well As Dogs, Study Says [NPR]

The Persistence Of Cat’s Memory [FatCatArt]

One comment:

11:00 am • Sunday • April 14, 2019

/good news/

Finally saw Captain Marvel, and Brie Larson is AWESOME. Definitely the performance of a lifetime. Besides the amazing performances and special effects (beep beep: MAJOR stoner eye candy alert), one doesn’t have to know anything about superhero movies to enjoy this film as a stand alone sci-fi action thriller. No spoilers, but it’s set in 1995, and I’ve never seen that decade so lovingly recreated. Hollywood’s fountain of youth has been cranked up full blast, as Samuel L. Jackson becomes the latest actor to be digitally de-aged. Also, the CAT has a surprise role.

Isn’t it funny how we’re enjoying some of the best art in our lifetimes during some of the worst political crises in our lifetimes? Fairly certain there’s some kind of an inverse relationship there. It dovetails nicely with my theory that superhero movies are so popular because people in our society feel helpless in confronting our numerous problems and are searching for solutions in cultural salvation myths.

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