The Stinque Braquet 2019

It’s that time of year again, and— wait, what year is this? Really? Is he still President?


Well, since we seem to be stuck in this Timeline for the duration, why not enjoy some Bread & Circuses & Hoops & Armageddon &—

Are you sure he’s still President?


Nancy’s not gonna help us out of this one, and Beto’s busy prancing on every tabletop in the room, so we might as well endure the Stinque Braquet, hosted as ever by Braquet Dowager Mellbell.

Because there remains some accountability left in this world, we will again Name & Shame the Daily Losers, and you will enjoy it, because it’s either that or submitting you for the Democratic nomination.


8:17 pm • Wednesday • March 20, 2019

Time flies. Got in under the wire getting my bracket posted.

Seems like only yesterday that I was on this site predicting Mike Pence would be President and here we are only a few short weeks from him taking the reins.

8:18 pm • Wednesday • March 20, 2019

Also I don’t like my moniker anymore.

8:30 pm • Wednesday • March 20, 2019

@libertarian tool: I think you can change it, although I haven’t looked at user-side settings in, uh, years.

Also: PARTY BRACKET, y’all!

8:36 pm • Wednesday • March 20, 2019

@nojo: Yes. Decisions. Decisions.

1:04 pm • Thursday • March 21, 2019

And we’re off…

9 Players:

4 Dukes
2 Zags
1 Iowa
1 North Carolina
1 Michigan State (me)

As always, my only goal is to beat SFLefty

8:21 pm • Thursday • March 21, 2019

Note to self: Losers before bedtime.

2:07 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

Fucking Louisville and St. Mary’s!

2:29 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

My upsets are upsetting me. C’mon NKU and UC Irvine!

2:35 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

With Iowa win, Big 10 is 6-0 in the first round.

2:54 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

Out of 18 games so far, only four upsets (historically, 9-seeds beat 8-seeds half the time, so those don’t count for anything). Of those, three were 10-seeds beating 7-seeds, which you’d expect about 40% of the time anyway. So that leaves one true upset. How terribly boring.

3:08 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

UC Irvine’s got it tied at the half. Huzzah!

3:39 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

@mellbell: Still tied with 12 minutes left!

5:34 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

We interrupt this tournament to bring you a Public Service Announcement: It’s Mueller Time.

6:53 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

@mellbell: And in other news… I finally nailed an upset. Thank You Ducks.

7:25 pm • Friday • March 22, 2019

@Discordian: Better you thank the Ducks than me. I suffer enough with my FB Eugene homies.

1:40 am • Saturday • March 23, 2019

PARTY BRACKET FTW. Or second place.

11:16 am • Saturday • March 23, 2019

@Discordian: Go Anteaters! I selected UC Irvine to win an upset in my Stinque or Swim bracket based solely upon their mascot. I’m in another larger pool where I have my “mascot bracket” and I have to say I’m doing pretty well so far in it.

11:41 am • Saturday • March 23, 2019

Yes I did miss 14 of the 32 games and have fallen into the Stinque or Swim Basement of Shame. I even fell below HF’s Sweaty Jocks which I don’t think anyone can ever recover from emotionally.

I still have a Sweet 14, and my Elite 8 is intact, but the shame is too much. After this crushing humiliation I am embittered and embracing nihilism for the balance of the tournament. All Number 1 Seeds Must Fail.

3:22 pm • Sunday • March 24, 2019

We Interrupt Your “AG Barr Summary Conclusion of the Mueller Report” watch with this important BREAKING TOURNAMENT NEWS: We have our first National Champion Bracket Casualty as the Iowa Hawkeyes went down in flames taking @Nojo‘s Bracket with them.

You may now resume your previous political activity.

4:39 pm • Sunday • March 24, 2019

@Discordian: NOT MY PARTY BRACKET!!!

8:54 pm • Sunday • March 24, 2019

@Discordian: Slow-motion bust. I’m doomed in terms of possible total points, yet I remain near the top, like Wile E. Coyote not looking down yet.

9:16 pm • Sunday • March 24, 2019

@nojo: I’ve been thinking about this… You need to add more categories to your Loser Of The Day award. First to Bust their National Champion Selection is worthy of note and should take the LOTD honors for that day. A Special Mention at least.

9:29 pm • Sunday • March 24, 2019

@Discordian: Focus, man, focus! It’s all about branding.

The one exception is that nobody loses twice in a row, or else I’d be stuck with Cellar Dwellers for the duration.

10:58 pm • Sunday • March 24, 2019

Am I drowned yet? No.

3:17 pm • Saturday • April 6, 2019

Before the game tonight dashes my hopes, I’d just like to point out that my MSU pick is the only National Champion left standing in the Stinquey Bracket Final Four and I am on the cusp of achieving a lifetime goal of defeating @SanFranLefty. I expect to retire from bracketology after this triumph, as I have nothing more to achieve. That is all.

EDIT: Nevermind. The struggle is real.

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