Future Excuses for the Disappearance of the Mueller Report

  • The dog ate it.
  • The shark ate the dog that ate it.
  • Zombie John McCain ate it.

  • The Witch Hunt uncovered actual witches who hexed it.
  • Lost in a first-round upset.
  • Mistakenly sent to a printer in the Russian Embassy.
  • You didn’t ask nicely.
  • Everybody forgot about it when Trump shot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue.
  • But her emails!!!
  • It was really just an index card with NO COLLUSION scribbled on it.

“The reality is, I don’t think I can give you everything that you want right now.” – Bobby Mueller

@Discordian: I’m seeing a lot of rending and gnashing out there, and while I want to see The Kids nailed as much as anyone, folks tend to forget the limits and nature of the investigation — heavy on counterintelligence — as well as that DoJ policy against indicting sitting presidents.

Folks also forget that we went two years with no congressional oversight, and subpoenas take time. You can’t impeach without a documented case, which is effectively what Nancy was saying. (The part about it inevitably dying in the Senate, well, some shit you do because it must be done.)

Anyway, we’ll see. Trump is a symptom, not a cause, and the Republic will remain as fucked after he’s gone.

@nojo: As I’ve written elsewhere, we’ve already cleared the Impeachment/Forced Resignation bar set by Nixon and Clinton. Like with Lewinsky and Dean, we now have a public domain co-conspirator (Cohen) testifying under oath to a presidential felony with corroborating physical evidence (the payoff checks).

So there is a green light to impeach on that basis even absent Mueller findings. But the Clinton impeachment for perjury about a blowjob blew up in a big way for Newt and the Republicans. Impeaching for campaign finance violations would probably net the same result for Dems and Nancy knows it.

Net net – There needs to be more from Mueller or SDNY before Nancy will pull the trigger.

@Discordian: I’ve always loved the SNL sketch after the 1998 election: Newt & the gang shellshocked at the bar, repeatedly asking “What happened?” Then Bubba walks in, all smiles and charm.

Speaking of which, someone mentioned yesterday that Starr couldn’t wait to publish the full report. But you can’t ride the comparison too hard, since he was an Independent Counsel and national-security issues weren’t involved.

Mueller on obstruction of justice:

“While this report does not conclude that the President committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him.”

Point being that there’s no evidence of underlying crime to obstruct. Mueller provides evidence of obstruction both ways, leaves the issue for AG to decide, AG — shockingly! — decides against, doesn’t include the evidence in his four-page summary.


Unclear to this civilian whether a federal obstruction of justice charge requires evidence of participation in an underlying crime.


‪Section 1505 is a favorite of impeachment committees.‬


‪Barr invokes “principles of federal prosecution” in decision not to proceed with obstruction charges. Which is why the House — and the rest of us! — need to see Mueller’s evidence and discussion. Impeachment is not a criminal prosecution.‬

My Takeaways:

1) While Trump, the Trump family, the Trump Campaign, and the Trump Organization are conventional real estate fraudsters, hucksters, con-men, criminal tax evaders, money launderers, violating the emolument clause, and complicit in promoting foreign policy to enrich themselves flaunting obvious conflicts of interest… they’re not traitors.

2) Removing Trump from office will have be done the old fashioned way – with a better candidate, an intelligent campaign and more Electoral College votes in the 2020 election.

@Discordian: Given Republican refusal to air out credible accusations of Russian meddling two years ago, I’m gonna stick with Traitors & Quislings, although not on the grounds dismissed by Mueller. Failure to Investigate was my initial beef anyway.

In much the same way that CaliguBush showed the world that our military is a “paper tiger” capable of winning small battles while disastrously losing two major wars, Prezinazi AntiChrist has demonstrated irrefutably how weak, feeble, and incompetent our democratic institutions are. And at its core, the problem isn’t that the system is corrupt, it’s that corruption is the system.

This senseless outcome that brazenly defies everything we’ve seen and heard over the last three years resolves nothing.

OK, just walked the dawgs and enjoyed the beautiful spring day. I’m calm now. Perfectly placid. Completely calm.

@¡Andrew!:Might need to send you into FB to calm my high-school liberal friends, who don’t seem interested in the finer points of what’s being represented as DoJ prosecutorial policy, and who are ignoring where what we know comes from.

Anyway: We knew going in that Barr was gonna pull a move like this, and we know that without the full report — especially, now, Mueller’s discussion of obstruction — we don’t know shit. We don’t even know by what standards Mueller declined to prosecute conspiracy — whether the gang were complete fools, just not criminally so.

But we do know everything we know, which Barr incorporates by reference. So there’s that.

Over at Slate, a random lawyer is taking issue with the lack of an underlying crime, which didn’t stop the Feds from going after Martha Stewart for obstruction. Still holding out for a former federal prosecutor to weigh in, but Preet ain’t talking yet.

@nojo: Like confessing on national television that he fired James Comey to stop the Russia investigation or bragging about it to the Russian foreign minister in the Oval Office or shitposting a million lies on Twitter?

Not guilty by reason of wealth and white trash supremacy!

@¡Andrew!: Everyone knew Barr would be a whitewash, and everyone is taking Barr as gospel. What a world!

@¡Andrew!: I have decided to ignore the media circus and focus only on the beauty of spring. In these times, daffodils–and the odds of being here to see them next year–should not be taken for granted, but appreciated.

@Mistress Cynica: Absolutely, we all need a spring break. Our long national nightmare will be with us awhile longer.

It’s a close call, and it depends on your terms, but I think the UK is more fucked than we are right now.

@nojo: Support for your thesis on twitter:

“Simple Politics
PM: This House has rejected no deal, it has rejected no Brexit, on Wednesday it rejected all versions of Brexit and today it has rejected this deal #Brexit”

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