Tuesday’s Odds
Martian invasion fleet greeted as liberators: 10:1
NYT Needle declared health risk: 3:1
Thanksgiving upgraded to contact sport: Even
Gritty memes: 1:100
Matrix resets to acceptable parameters: 100:1
Pikes sell out at Home Depot: 5:1
Migrant caravan suddenly disappears from national conversation: 2:1
Michael Avenatti takes credit: 3:1
Some semblance of democracy: Even
More of the fucking same: 1:1000000
Likelihood some lazy dipshit is gonna blame “both sides:” a dumFux Noozy 199%.
Melon Trump as Annie Hell in Donald Trump’s Raiders of the Lost Ark.
It is and will be so much better someday, and I have to believe that most Americans are so much better than this.
Well, I’m off to the Central Valley this weekend to campaign for the guy running against Devin Nunes.
@¡Andrew!: Most are. But the margin is much closer than bears comfort.
Dems are looking right now at a 9-point national House advantage. But because of gerrymandering and such, conventional wisdom going in was that they would need a 10-point victory to eke out a House majority.
This ain’t Reagan, where the popular vote was a crushing damnation of My Fellow Americans. And that demographic shift is happening — whites are the assholes they’ve always been, but there aren’t as many of us as before.
So, we’ll see. In a representative democracy, this wouldn’t be a problem. Problem is, we don’t have one.
And now I can’t stop watching the Mars Attacks credits, which really isn’t a bad thing.
@SanFranLefty: Give ‘em hell, amiga!
People have been updating 80s movie titles for 2018, and these are awesome:
The Brexit Club
A Nightmare on Wall $treet
A Catfish Called Wanda
Vape to the Future
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Instagram
Twerking Girl
When Harry DM’d Sally
Full Meddle Jacket
Stop Gun
The Neverending Subtweet
Desperately Seeking Siri
Banned From Coming to America
Pretty in Pink Pussy Hats
Lie Hard
Robert Mueller’s Day Off
Raging Bullshit
@SanFranLefty: He was a very good interview on the Circus last week.
“You Made Me So Angry That It’s Your Fault I Killed You and I’m The Real Victim”
— The peppy new Gab/GOPnazi campaign slogan, soon to be on bumperstickers everywhere.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…