The Circle of Life

Donald didn’t like his friends. He didn’t really have any, but he didn’t like them anyway. Donald’s friends were mean to him. They wouldn’t let him do what he wanted.

What Donald wanted to do was get rid of his friends. He wanted them out of his life. Donald wanted new friends, friends who wouldn’t be mean to him, friends who would let him do what he wanted. Donald was always getting rid of his mean friends, and looking for new friends. He didn’t know why it kept happening to him.

Donald always found new friends, too, friends who wanted to be friends with Donald. Everybody wanted to be Donald’s friend, because Donald had the best toys, and everyone wanted to play with them. But Donald didn’t like how his friends played with his toys, and then Donald’s friends would be mean to him, they wouldn’t let him do what he wanted, and then Donald would have to find new friends again.

All Donald wanted to do was anything he wanted. He wanted to show his toys to his friends, and then he wanted his friends to tell him what nice toys they were, and then he wanted to tell them that his toys were better than theirs, and then he wanted to tell them how to play with his toys, and then he wanted to watch them doing it. But they would never do that, they would never play with Donald’s toys the way he wanted them to. His friends would play with Donald’s toys the way they wanted to, and then Donald would tell them not to, and then his friends would be mean to him, and then they weren’t his friends any more.

This bothered Donald. It bothered Donald that his friends kept being mean to him, no matter what he told them to do. It bothered Donald that his friends wouldn’t let him do anything he wanted. It bothered Donald that he couldn’t be happy.

And then Donald realized what the problem was: The problem was with his friends. The problem was that they were mean to him. The problem was that they wouldn’t let him do what they wanted. And then Donald knew what to do.

What Donald decided to do, in the end, was get rid of his mean friends and find new ones, friends who would admire his toys, play with them the way he wanted them to, and let him do what we wanted. Donald knew that this would work, that this would make him happy. He was certain of this. It had always worked before.

7 comments:

1:20 am • Saturday • March 17, 2018

My friends are my friends because they are not mean … and my toys come from Toys ‘R Us (but not for much longer). Donald, fuck you. Fuck you right in your ear.

12:38 pm • Saturday • March 17, 2018

“When the full extent of your venality, moral turpitude, and political corruption becomes known, you will take your rightful place as a disgraced demagogue in the dustbin of history. You may scapegoat Andy McCabe, but you will not destroy America…America will triumph over you.”
— John Brennan, Former CIA Director

Deep State vs. Derp State–it’s ON!!!

12:48 pm • Saturday • March 17, 2018

@¡Andrew!: Holy shit, Andrew McCabe’s statement redefines ‘throwing down the gauntlet’.

3:51 pm • Saturday • March 17, 2018

@¡Andrew!:

Brennan completely missed the boat here:

“venality”, “turpitude”, “corruption”, “demagogue”

All 3+ syllables. Trump doesn’t understand any of them.

10:29 pm • Saturday • March 17, 2018

@blogenfreude:
Blame Mittens for killing Toys R Us (Bain.)

12:11 am • Sunday • March 18, 2018

@ManchuCandidate: Amazon killed them, and killed them long ago. Bain just raided the corpse for loose change.

5:12 pm • Sunday • March 18, 2018

@ManchuCandidate: and don’t I know it …

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