Episode VII: Groundhog Day

Episode IX: When Cousins MarryTitle: “Star Wars: The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary”

Author: Pablo Hidalgo

Rank: 44

Blurb: “Beautiful photography and clear, authoritative text by Lucasfilm insider Pablo Hidalgo names and explains all the details of costumes, weapons, and accessories.”

Review: “The first few pages clear up some plot problems in the movie.”

Customers Also Bought: Handsome bonuses for Disney executives.

Footnote: Throwing in a whiny Millennial kid was some brilliant generational trolling.

The Force Awakens Visual Dictionary [Amazon]

Aren’t all the main characters (Luke, Anakin and whoever the new guy is) whiny kids?

@ManchuCandidate: New Girl kicks ass, Oscar does Hero Stuff, Black Stormtrooper does Tortured Soul, BB8 blinks and boops. Which leaves…

Well, I can’t say yet.

But I’ve never thought of Luke as Whiny Kid, and I’ve blocked the prequels from my consciousness. So now we have the New Trustafarian, who’s spoiled beyond belief.

We can’t see it until the 26th – tickets already purchased. NO SPOILERS!

@blogenfreude: Good luck with that. I’m surprised [SPOILER REDACTED] has lasted this long without snitching.

@ManchuCandidate: Happy Festivus – may all of your grievances be aired!

@nojo: Do we have a policy on how long we should wait before discussin’ the movie?

I can’t believe that Jar Jar is the New Vader—OOPS! Meesa so sawwee!

@¡Andrew!: I guess we’re waiting on Some Idiot Above who didn’t see it the first weekend as God intended. So no chatter until Sunday about how the entire second act was devoted to midichlorian blood tests.

I thought it was bad when the new baddie turned out to be Benedict Cumberbatch as Darth White Khan.

@nojo: The first hour that they spent debating parliamentary procedure was thrilling–just like being there!

@¡Andrew!: Since Disney also owns Marvel, maybe they’ll follow the lead with a Netflix spinoff series about the Galactic Senate.

Jar Jar = Old Republic Ted Cruz?
Palpatine = someone evil and competent in the GOP but I don’t know who the fuck that is.

@ManchuCandidate: Besides Cheney?

His competence may not have extended to results, but he was quite adept at grabbing and deploying power. And he’s much too evil to sustain a human heart.

@ManchuCandidate: J.J. is never gonna live that down, nor should he.

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