Spoil Amongst Yourselves

Han Should Have Shot First.Title: “Sphero BB-8 App-Enabled Droid”

Rank: 1 (RC Figures & Robots)

Blurb: “This is the Droid You’re Looking For.”

Reasons to Spear Your Dad If He Doesn’t Buy You One: “BB-8 has something unlike any other robot — an adaptive personality that changes as you play. Based on your interactions, BB-8 will show a range of expressions and even perk up when you give voice commands. Set it to patrol and watch your Droid explore autonomously, make up your own adventure and guide BB-8 yourself, or create and view holographic recordings.”

Review: “Introduced him to my cats.”

Customers Also Bought: “Thermos Novelty Lunch Kit, Star Wars R2D2 with Lights and Sound”

Footnote: Our office is a converted loading dock with a spacious concrete floor. One of our partners got this for Christmas. Nobody’s getting any work done next week.

BB-8 App-Enabled Droid [Amazon]

I suspect that almost every owner’s first holographic recording will be a variation of “Help Me Obiwan, you’re our only hope.”

While I did enjoy the new flick, I couldn’t help but notice that it’s basically a shot-for-shot remake of A New Hope. I would’ve preferred to think that they could’ve come up with a more original story, especially after the excellent Clone Wars teevee series.

Yes, I bought one, and yes, the cats love it.

Perhaps, on the bright side at least it’s not a shot for shot remake of Phantom Menace.

Hopefully JJ won’t go all The White Khan Strikes Back on us in the next one.

@¡Andrew!: I don’t know how soon deja vu hit me, but it was soon enough, before the (delicious!) beer and pizza were brought to my theater seat by the rockin’ Alamo Drafthouse waitstaff.

Also, the moment Han walked onto the bridge, you pretty much knew he wasn’t walking back off.

So I was disappointed, but not angry. Given what Abrams was up against, I couldn’t fault him his strategic decisions. He was climbing out the three-prequel grave that Lucas had dug.

That said: No apologies next time. If we get warmed-over Empire, I’m checking out.

@ManchuCandidate: The minute Finn gets frozen in carbonite by New Vader, I’m outta there.

@nojo: Father figures, surrogate or otherwise, don’t fare well in this galaxy, though they still have it better than the mothers.

There sure was a lotta disbelief-suspenden’. Like how they all instantly found each other on a planet-sized First Order base. I’ve lost family members at the mall.

I do really like New Luke, even though she was born in (gulp) 1992. And for the record, I don’t think she’s a Mary Sue, since she has the Savior of the Galaxy thing going on.

@¡Andrew!: I actually like Family Drama as a theme, buried as it is under Space Opera and Bad Prequels and Retread Plots. That’s why I’m in the New Luke is Old Luke’s Daughter camp. If they play it right — for a change — it could bring a fascinating and enduring coherence to the sorry mess.

@blogenfreude: Office BB-8 has arrived. Cute as fuck.

And sure enough, fucking Bobby Lee, appearing on Doug Loves Movies, spoiled the entire fucking thing. Fuck him.

I’m not reading y’all’s comments b/c I haven’t seen the movie yet.

Meanwhile, the bro-mance between Slick Willie and Hillbot and Ron Burkle is officially over since rich home boy is shoveling cash to John Kasich. (John Kasich? Talk about a bad investment…)

I forget, was Burkle the one with the private jet where there were all the teenage girls giving Prince Andrew and Slick Willie blowjobs, or was that some other asshole billionaire?

/too lazy to Google

@SanFranLefty: I’m really dreading having Beel and his payniss back in the White House, eye-ball fucking every woman under 35, while giving the ole reach-around to his oligarch buddies.

Office BB-8, Day 2: Still cute as fuck.

It’s a little gadget, maybe 4 inches tall with the head. The ball — a Sphero, also sold without Disney licensing — is a self-propelling roller. (That base in the photo is a recharging station — the ball rolls on its own.)

The head is completely separate — held in place by a magnet. It has a couple of tiny hidden rollers, which allows it to align itself on top of the rolling ball, just like in the movie. Since the magnet needs to be weak enough to allow the head to “float” atop the rolling ball, it will sometimes pop off when it glides beneath a sufficient low object, like a chair leg. Some of the Amazon reviews were bitching about that, but really, small occasional price to pay for what is really a delightful gadget.

You can drive it with the app (Bluetooth, most likely), but it’s more fun just to set it on autopilot and let it explore. It behaves like a Roomba, bumping into things and turning around, but unlike a Roomba, it doesn’t internally map a space. It just rolls and bumps.

Did I say cute as fuck? It really is — and very, very clever.

A frightening combo of big hair, fake boobs, fake lips and bullets.

US Amercia! Fuck yeah!

@SanFranLefty: And there’s Hillary’s main argument: Me or Them. Story of most of my voting life.

@nojo: Vader (the cat) figured out you could knock the head off, and hid it under the couch. I will have my revenge.


Yeah, I find it rather disappointing that 3 out of 7 Star Wars movies now involve blowing up a Death Star like thing. Hopefully number 8 will be a bit more original. I was glad that this new movie at least seems to capture the look and feel of the first triolgy that we all fell in love with.

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