HORSIES!
Yes, folks. Did you think I wouldn’t come out of my undisclosed location to not celebrate the annual tradition of the Stinque Kentucky Derby Open Thread? For shame.
It’s been busy here at Chicago Bureau World Headquarters. Two solid months of writing, interrupted by (a) collapsing in a heap at the end of each work day, (b) hockey, and (c) getting a girlfriend. But not so busy that the Derby fails to excite.
And it should be extra exciting this year, and not because of the copious amounts of bourbon used to make this refreshing drink here. The reason for excitement is also cold and wet — the track. Yes, we got a race in the SLOP!
This preview from the Guardian has video clips of the big names. But 19 will run, so it’s about impossible to pick. Unless you talk to a seasoned handicapper. Who will still be wrong.
Going chalk this year with my picks — Revolutionary and Orb in an exacta box. We’ll see. But now — ALL RISE FOR THE DEGENERATE GAMBLER NATIONAL ANTHEM! (Doo-doo-doot doot doot, doot doot doot, doo-doo-doo-dooooot!)
This is that thing with the horses and Brooks Brothers blazers, right?
@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: and the hats.
Man, that track is a mess.
Did Orb win? That was my pick.
@CB: Way to sneak it in there. A new lady friend? Congrats! Do tell, don’t be a stranger.
@Mistress Cynica: But do they wear fascinators at the Derby like Cathy Cambridge? (FSM love TLo for coming up with that nickname).
Someone’s gotta be throwing up in their hat today to preserve our team honor.
@karen marie might be peeking just a little: Orb won, beating the favorite.
@redmanlaw: Nice! Too bad I didn’t have any money on him.
“Revolutionary and Orb in an exacta box.” I hope it was a $2 bet and no more. Only insiders, suckers and very lucky fuckers bet more on a 19-horse field. Bux based on luck sux.
@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I have a Brooks Bros blazer.
@Benedick: I’ve owned a couple of Brooks Bros suits. They do have some virtues: they are not designed for skinny Italian men and it’s nearly impossible to wear them out.
@mellbell: The story of the family who were given the greatcoat is so sweet.
@mellbell: Interesting. Abe and I are the same height but I’m maybe 250 lbs. heavier as of this morning. I’m going back to the caveman diet, which I think would be even more effective if I had to run after my meals and take them down.
¡ANDREW! • Apocalypse Predictions, Rated I don't even see why Hollywood bothers making horror flix when we can just doom scroll the news.
¡ANDREW! • Apocalypse Predictions, Rated The Day After scared the $%&! outta me, especially the horror of realizing that a gang of…
NOJO • Apocalypse Predictions, Rated @ManchuCandidate: I always loved the publicity for Day After — “Too Real for TV?” — because…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Apocalypse Predictions, Rated NOOOOOOoooooooooo! The Day After: 4/10. Armageddon is so damned depressing. Red Dawn: 0/10. …
MANCHUCANDIDATE • All the Fables That Fit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FzIMi9ubZA One of my favorite Loony Tunes cartoons
NOJO • A Brief Guide to Current Controversies @ManchuCandidate: Can we go back to Myron Floren and snapping fingers on the wrong beat?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • A Brief Guide to Current Controversies This is the new "Things That White People Like"
MANCHUCANDIDATE • A Brief Guide to Current Controversies @bruce.desertrat: The funny part was they weren't wrong. But that was before the Dixiecrats…
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • A Brief Guide to Current Controversies Also under "Voting Integrity". The following is from a program promoted by the RNC: "The RNC…
¡ANDREW! • Save the Date @ManchuCandidate: Northern Tr666p always looked slightly medicated and barely holding in the…