Revenge of The Avengers

Hulk smash silly statuette.

Argo, Django Unchained, Life of Pi, Lincoln, Zero Dark Thirty: Until they show up in Netflix, they’re dead to us. That also goes for Amour, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Les Misérables, and Silver Linings Playbook, since The Academy has seen fit to run nine Best Picture nominees this year. (Why not ten? Do you hate The Avengers that much?)

No matter: We just like the show. We especially like carping at the show. Which, with Seth MacFarlane hosting, should give us ample opportunity. So prepare your pity-party popcorn for our Oscars Open Thread/Multiple Cartoon Personality Disorder. Spoiler alert: You won’t remember any of them in two weeks anyway.


Opening early this year for the Red Carpet crowd.

What is the name of the hairstyle where guys kind of swoop their hair up in the middle of their heads and shellac it?

@Dodgerblue: The Squiggy?

ADD: Or the Bob’s Big Boy.

One of my favorite things to do every year is mercilessly mock the clothing of the rich and famous here on Stinque. Unfortunately, this year I am helping my father clean out his 20+ year filthy garage in preparation for his move. This means I have to run back and forth between the garage and the living room, so I will only have time to iPhone nice things about said rich and famous people, which, knowing me, will mean very few posts this year.

Sally Fields, for example, looks lovely.

Okay, I lied. What the hell is Amanda Seyfried wearing? Isn’t that neck collar thing from an episode of Star Trek Voyager?

What do you call it when one of the hosts looks like Tammy Faye Bakker?

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing:

heh just saw this on FacePlant:

The Oscar Party from Hell. Once, a long time ago, I was invited to an Oscar party at the home of an acquaintance. It was mostly gay guys and a couple of “fag hags.” (Yeah, I don’t like the term either, but…there it is.) I went because he had a very big screen TV.

I couldn’t hear anything that was happening on the big screen because of all the bitchy comments, most coming from one small cluster of self-appointed commentators. (I would have used the word “queens” but these were definitely not any kind of royalty.)

Finally, I said, “I’d really like to watch this. I work in the industry, some of these people are my friends.” And one of the bitchiest said to me, “Honey, get over yourself. Those people are only there so the rest of us can make fun of them.”

I got up and walked out. I don’t think I’ve been to an Oscar party since.

the comments are pretty hilarious

watching the red carpet nonsense while eating and I learned that Zoe Saldana (who I love) is doing a Nina Simone (who I also love) biopic. this makes me happy.

“Every girl in America is having a heart attack!”

There goes Obamacare.

Where’s Ben’s nomination? #oscarmystery

@Dodgerblue: I don’t know, but it always makes me think of Cameron Diaz.

The E! Channel carpet hostesses would have done a better job during the Super Bowl power outage than the Sport guys did.

damn was that Hugh Jackman? I hardly recognized him. is he sick. he looks like an auschwitz survivor.

ok DeNiro has bed head. he is entitled.

@CaptHowdy: Given all his slumming over the past decade, I’m not sure about cutting DeNiro some slack.

yahoo news

As the stars begin to arrive, hundreds of visual effects artists are staging a protest outside the Dolby (née Kodak) Theatre, claiming they’re being cut out of their share of an increasingly lucrative market.
The recent bankruptcy of Rhythm & Hues Studios, the effects house that created visual magic for “Life of Pi” and “Snow White and the Huntsman,” has called attention to the financial struggles of those whose digital skills help drive some of the industry’s biggest films. (The Rhythm & Hues bankruptcy has also led to 250 layoffs at the company.)
With “Life of Pi” considered a lock for the Best Visual Effects Oscar, employees of Rhythm & Hues and other effects companies are staging the “Piece of the Pi Protest.” They hope to bring to light the discrepancy in earnings between studios and the below-the-line artists.
Scott Ross, who was a top manager of Industrial Light & Magic and a founder at Digital Domain, started the ball rolling with a tweet: “I had a dream, 500 VFX artists near the Dolby (Kodak) theater on Oscar day waving signs that say ‘I Want a Piece of the Pi Too.'” Since then, the plan spread online, with protest organizers launching a Facebook page, and some investing in a banner that will be flown by a plane over the theater during the red-carpet ceremonies, reading “box office + bankrupt = visual effects”
While unions are generally still strong within the film industry, efforts at unionizing effects workers have met with resistance. Today’s protests have the support of the International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees, the leading union for motion picture technicians. Steve Kaplan, an organizer with IATSE’s Animation Guild, says in a statement, “We understand the plight of the visual effects artists and support any meaningful changes in the industry to bring about positive standards and workplace conditions that would benefit them.”

Scott Ross is a facebook friend and old boss from Digital Domain

Jennifer Aniston is as doomed to her hair as Bob Denver.

can we talk about the elegant black woman wearing the repurposed drapery?

@CaptHowdy: There is no point to the exercise if you can’t make fun of people’s taste. Anyway, it’s not like they pick these outfits out.

@CaptHowdy: We were in shock at Casa Catt over Rhythm and Hues. The CG/Effects community is terrified.

For the record, Tammy Faye is Kristin Chenoweth.


just posted to my FB timeline:

Sean Cunningham
Awesome kilt, Mark.

IMO, little Quevanzhané Wallis won the red carpet.


if we needed another reason to shun and ricdicule Perez Hilton:

Kristin Chenoweth Sparkles Like The Night Sky On The Oscars Red Carpet

@CaptHowdy: AAAAAAACK, as esteemed film essayist Bill the Cat once said.

@nojo: 4 years older than I. Sally Ride and Michael Millken also went there. And Steve Allen’s party-animal sons.

@CaptHowdy: Just out of chemo, according to my wife.

@Dodgerblue: Steve Allen’s party-animal sons

Saw that band on tour.

@nojo: She was giving me more of a “death’s head” vibe. And the ghost of Phillis Diller wants her gown back.

I know the guy with the sign that says “this is the first time I have been outside in three months” but I cant remember his name.

Did anyone ask Seth MacFarlane whose toupee he was wearing?

Thank you. Good night!

who the hell is this talk show host? just shoot me. or wake me up when the effects oscar is announced.

Feels like an off night with the Rat Pack.


did someone say toupees? as if he heard you.

fuck this. Im headed to walking dead.

@CaptHowdy: But this is Walking Dead Live!

Also, you’re twenty minutes early.

My wife is trying to say “peplum” but has had too much to drink.


seriously this SUCKS

I should have known. one of my eye wateringly gay friends on FB (of course) posted this cutsy pic of the two producers – aparrently his friends AND boyfriends – I should have known it would be musical theater wannabe night

wow and he was playing the same character he played in Inglorius Basterds.

with a beard.

DeNiro DENIED!!!

(Please, hold your applause.)

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing:

I was hoping for Pirates. I came pretty close to working on it.

@CaptHowdy: I decided at the last minute I didnt want to go to england. kick me.

and there you have it. in a nutshell

And the R&H shoutout gets Jawed.


there are soooooooo many pissed off people tossing drinks at flatscreens right now.

[Spy Who Loved Me inside Stinquer joke.]

@nojo: Theyare rarely what I would call “elegant” or “refined”. Boners, I mean.

@CaptHowdy: It goes to show you how a marketing push can sell an Oscar win.

wow if nerds could kill (or even harm) the oscar producers would need bodyguards. FB is (you will pardon the expression) all atwitter.

its wasnt just the cutoff but what was with the bullshit crosstalk about skipping over the important stuff with the presenters. fuck u Robert Downey. Iron Man without effects people would be iron lung.

Just tuning in. What’s going on with J-Hud’s hair?

@mellbell: You’ve missed ninety minutes of Spectacular Train Wreck.


Bill Maher just posted ‘oh, we are at the gay part’ I commented ‘we passed that part a ways back’

I am actually no longer watching. walking/talking dead for me

@CaptHowdy: Left Coast. I’m planning on the 9pm repeat.

A tie? Has that happened before and I just never noticed?

The Christopher Plummer schtick is adorable.

@nojo: Five times, though it’s been forty-five years since it happened in a, shall we say, major category.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: You might very well think that; I couldn’t possibly comment.

@mellbell: Guess I wasn’t watching in 1968. But that’s one helluva tie.

@CaptHowdy: Is biting toenails a Dude Thing? I’ve never thought to ask.

Oh, Kristen Stewart. Never change.

Good God almighty. One embarrassing production number after another. Ghastly script. It’s like a gay review in Vegas off-strip. Ms Theron looked gorgeous as did Halle Berry – and plus both, ladies, kudos on the frocks. Thing about frocks like that is you have to know how to wear them. You can’t just show up in Vera Wang. You need to look like you do the dishes in Vera Wang. But it’s like last night at camp when we all do skits. Pity the FX guy got cut off. Shouldn’t have talked so much about his kids.

I wish they’d just do the awards. Some of those people worked hard. Some are very talented. Let them have their day. Tomorrow Ari Emanuel won’t return their phone calls.

@CaptHowdy: The model doesn’t work. The mouse is able to do it mostly because the other divisions float Feature during the down times that Ross talks about. Even so, my husband lives in fear of the layoff. In the 17 years he’s been there, he’s been laid off twice. There’s development of his skills, because that benefits the studio, but no loyalty, even after all that time.

search me. I dont actually do it. but I COULD if I wanted to.

Plus, the Bond tribute was almost as boring as the movies (not a fan).

Pop quiz: who wrote the Bond theme? No google. And what is the Bond theme?

@Benedick: I think Seth McFarland is kinda yummy. In a wax doll kinda way.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: @CaptHowdy: I cannot tell you how distressing these conversations are. Wait. The puppy’s got my underwear.

@Benedick: Sans Googling, I think the Bond theme is a combo. Uhhh… Jack Barry? And the guitar dude.

see my way upthread post about the dreadful old queen and his pathetic old queen friends who produced it. I didnt think it could be worse than my expectations but I was wrong. I would rather put out a campfire with my face than watch another minute. I will read about it on FB.

@CaptHowdy: They seriously hurt a lot of artists back when they killed off traditional animation back around 2000. Ever since then, a lot of simmering resentment, even among the CG artists. Mr. ‘Catt is a double threat (traditional and CG), but even that doesn’t make him feel safe. Plus they low-ball, low-ball, low-ball.

Clooney is looking kinda “sell no wine before it’s time” -y.

@CaptHowdy: I totally forgot about that! We talked about this, now I remember.

I wonder if you knew my boo.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing:

everyone either seemed to be overweight or anorexic.

it was all the 80 pounders that reminded me I should be watching Walking Dead

Speaking of that 1968 Oscar tie…

Okay, Babs, nice dress. Not a huge fan, but I gotta admit she’s still got it.

@CaptHowdy: He’s a philipino muscleboy. I can’t believe you never noticed him.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I get the reference now. I have a thing for Orson Welles, so, yeah.

Monty Alexander!

Geez, I thought that second Bond Theme name would never come to me.

@nojo: Monty Norman. He wrote the bom bom bom vamp low in the bass then that da dada dada da da da da dadadaddadada… Nonsense on an electric guitar till the orchestra, featuring brass, goes ba da da da da da da. He made a fortune. He also wrote ‘Fings Aint What They Used to Be’ – be grateful you didn’t grow up Limey. John Barry did the real work. He invented the Bond sound through the miracle of orchestration.

Plus, some of us can reach other parts of our body with our mouth.

Michael Douglas looks more and more like his dad and Jane Fonda looks more like Dolly parton every year.

Did Ang Lee just say he couldn’t waste time thanking the cast?

@mellbell: yes. Yes he did. But to be fair the cast was not really central to the endeavor, if what i’ve heard about the movie is true.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I’ve seen it, and it’s true, but it’s still jarring to hear him to say it.

@mellbell: I think it was a language error, his english does not seem idomatic, to say the least.

You guys are making me think I should be watching this, but then … nah, I’ll just stay here in bed and watch more of several things I’ve got in the pipeline. Netflix has “Outrageous Fortune” back. I’d almost gotten through season 2 when it got yanked. But I’ve also still got season 3 of Downton Abbey to get to, and yesterday I started “Game of Thrones.” The Oscars? Hmm … nah. You kids will let me know about anything juicy.

Bradley Cooper was beaming as Jennifer Lawrence spoke. Too cute. Though he should have won, not her.

Daniel Day Lewis wins the night.

That sound you hear is wingnut heads asploding, all over the country.

@nojo: What happened? I missed something good! I know I did, I know I did! Grrrrrrrr!

The wheels are coming off this speech.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: “Now, what is it you want? In your depths of your ignorance, what is it you want?!”

this guy was a vfx supervisor when I was at Digital Domain. he supervised pretty much every big effects movie in the last 20 years. no one knew this until he just posted it. pretty cool.

John Bruno
Since ARGO won Best Picture, and Best director (in England)
it’s time to come out of the closet. For the record….
In 1980 I shared an office at Sunset and Gower Studios (studio six prod) with John Chambers, Robert Sidell and his wife Andi. I was the Illustrator…


disagree or maybe both. but I love her. did you see Winters Bone? IMO she should have won for that.

@CaptHowdy: Thank you for talking about the VFX issue. I don’t know what to write except that I hope they occupy Hollywood. And unionize.

How’s Pinhead?

I just checked out the winners, and I’ve heard about five (?) of the films. I might watch the one with the woman who won best actress. Still haven’t seen a movie in a theater since Inception. I’m on a roll.

Why didn’t We Were Here get nominated?

Yapping about my kid/ He’s about to apply for internships in Seattle. It’s the first time I’ve asked him how he wants to use his degree, and it might be the first time he’s thought about something other than making video games. He kicked art to the curb, took all the philosophy classes for his minor, and he’s finishing his compsci requirements.

I think he’s going to apply to the usual suspects (MS, Amazon, Boeing), but I don’t know how much freedom he’ll have for quirk. He also plans to be an EOF RA/tutor/shoulder to cry on. He did it last summer and loved it.

Anyway, I don’t know how much he’s going to geek or if he’s going to miss art so much that he ends up in school again to fulfill MFA requirements.

These are all guesses on my part. I just keep reminding him that nothing is ever set in stone, and he’s always allowed to change his mind. And if he decides philosophy is his thing, he’ll love and will end up busking.

@JNOV: I have very little expectation anything much will change. I think the response from the stage was calculated to send a clear message – you dont even have a union, you are wage slaves, easily replaced. shut the fuck up, get back to work and remember your place if you want to have one.
you would think fucking Ang Lee would have given at least a nod. I suspect he had been warned he would be jawed. people are very depressed and dispirited.
once I would have encouraged the kid to follow his art dreams but the truth is artists always get screwed. it is a historical fact. in every profession, every creative niche, it is always the artists who are disrespected and taken for granted. I understand why he would rethink.

How’s Pinhead?

getting to the hard parts.

wont be posting many in progress pics until he starts looking more finished.


though I – being a hopless optimist – keep hope alive. there is a trend moving on FB and other places. all the effects/cg people are changing their profile pics to a green square. (green screen) and people are very pissed.

also I think if the intentions were to tamp down unrest I think what they did was not the right move.

gravatar will update soon. I may be gone from the industry for years but I choose to stand on the right side of history.

@CaptHowdy: Green screen. Awesome.

So we got up this morning and watched the rest of it. I’ve aged 15 years and I want them back. DD Lewis, as ever, the wittiest, most intelligent guy in the room. I don’t remember Les Misérables being so pompous on the stage. But what was up with the sound balance? The band was so loud all night the singers could hardly be heard.

Planning on seeing Amour tomorrow. I’ve stayed away from his films since the unfortunate horse slaughter. Maybe it’s time to give it a rest.

@Benedick: The band was in another building and the music was piped in. No, really.

Fun Fact: More than 75 percent of The Avengers was shot in Albuquerque on big soundstages. All the Helicarrier shots, NYC and other locations were added later.

New Mexico gives some pretty nice tax incentives to the TV and movie industry despite early opposition by our Republican governor.

@Dodgerblue: Capitol Records building. Which always reminds me of Earthquake. So I can’t see it without thinking of the top sliding off.

@nojo: Every LA disaster movie takes down the Capitol Records building. BTW I was pretty sure that Katherine Zeta-Jones was lipsynching last night.

@Dodgerblue: Entertainment Weekly said she was lip synching the song. I think she was also lip synching her dancing.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Our Resident Libertarian thought it was a desecration on Bob Fosse’s grave. Which is not the kind of observation I would expect from Our Resident Libertarian.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: She looked stunning, though, wouldn’t you agree?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I’m sure she was. There was no radio mic (hint: look for the mic cord taped down the back). She couldn’t be expected to go through all those lifts projecting into that gigantic theatre with no conductor in the pit. Give little Cathy Jones from Pontefractcakecmdy a break. You can’t do that past 30 unless you’re Chita Rivera. I didn’t mind the synquing feeling so much as the atrocious balance between voices and band. They even managed to drown out Dame Shirl. And that woman has got a set of pipes on her. The band should support not compete.

@nojo: I thought it was pretty good. Pretty sensational entrance. Mind you, it always looks good when things come up from underneath. I saw the original Fosse production on B’way. Awf’ly fussy for Fosse. Plus some of the weirdest costumes ever put on dancers. Which is saying something.

Just checking in with my thoughts:

W/r/t the ladies, the most diva-licious:

(1) Shirley Bassey: Bow down, bitchezz! Beyonce, this is how you do it. Did I mention I’m 76 and have pipes and don’t lip-sync. Yep, bow down.

(2) Jane Fonda: Yep. Bow down.

(3) Queen Latifah: Bow down. Again. Bitchezz.

(4) Charlize Theron: Bow down to the Ice Queen.

(5) Halle Berry: Try to ignore the “flesh” tone shoulder pads under my divalicious Bond girl dress and bow down.

(6) Salma Hayek: Seth’s intro got the biggest laugh of the night in our house. Mr. SFL and I fought over who would get to make out with her first.

W/r/t the men:
(1) DDL. Jesus Fucking Christ, what a cool drink a water he is in all 6 feet 3 inches of his fabulousness, perfectly cut suit, perfectly cut pants, gorgeous gray hair, and SHAVED face and neck.
/must go fan myself and update my Netflix queue with his prior movies.

(2) Hugh Jackman. As Fernando and Greg, the morning gay DJs on my local radio station said to Katniss, “Girl, if you fall on the ground and Hugh Jackman jumps up to help you, STAY.ON.THE.GROUND!”

@Benedick: The choreography looked vaguely familiar, and sure enough — I stuck around a couple minutes past Walking Dead — Rob Marshall was credited in the endroll. Same moves, less rehearsal, I imagine. That, plus Marshall stocked the movie with Broadway vets.

Ended up popping Chicago in the DVD last night. Because I couldn’t go to bed with the broadcast haunting me.

@Benedick: the atrocious balance between voices and band

I have a Basie album recorded live at Montreux in the Seventies. The liner notes blame the sound engineer for playing up the keyboard, when Basie liked to play just under his band. Damn rock mixers. No taste at all.

@nojo: Because I couldn’t go to bed with the broadcast haunting me. Yes, darling, that’s why we watch Chicago. Because the choreography haunts us. Of course.

True I saw the original at the end of its run but it wasn’t much fun. You couldn’t hear the score because the production kept shoving jazz hands in your face. The revival is what reinvented it. That’s what the movie is based on. I would think that one of Mr. Marshal’s assistants staged that with him coming in for a polish at the end. As the actress said to the bishop.

I was wondering if the balance issue was to do with our youth having blown out their ears with iPods but I can’t think any of the singers would be happy when reviewing the tape. Even Streisand sounded lousy – not the singing but the volume. She has a very small voice and has always relied on amplification but I would have thought she had her own designers do the sound.

While we’re on the subject, could someone explain to Ms Hudson that the reason we call them ‘songs’ is because they have lyrics which are intended to convey a meaning. Howling does not equal singing. Kthnxbye.

@SanFranLefty: While seconding your view of Mr. D Lewis I must disagree about the cut of suit. The collar did not look happy or sit well. And let’s not blame him for the tie. We can’t all be president Obama. I wouldn’t be comfortable signing off on the cut of the pants without a pat-down. And I’m not convinced by the coal miner’s haircut. Let’s hope that won’t last. Pop quiz! Who was his father-in-law? No google.

As for Mr. Jackman: take a number. The line is out the door and round the block.

@Benedick: His father-in-law? I thought his father was famous enough. In Those Isles, anyway.

ADD: Also, “Haunted By Choreography” is my posthumous memoir.

ADD2: Years before the movie, I would see ads for “Chicago starring George Hamilton” and wonder what the fuss was about.

@nojo: His own father is a pischer compared to his father-in-law Arthur Miller.

@Benedick: So his mother-in-law is sort of Marilyn Monroe?

@Benedick: You’re behind my wife in the Hugh Jackman line. She is short, so you can see over her, but tough, so you can’t get by her. Just try playing Words With Friends with her.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment