Happy New Year!

It’s midnight in Australia. Why aren’t you drinking?


It’s also summer in Australia. Would New Year’s Eve here be even more lethal if it occurred in warm weather?

I really can’t get interested in or worked up about the completely artificially created Fiscal Cliff drama. Does that make me a bad political nerd?

@SanFranLefty: Neither can I. Tommcatt’s “Inevitable, really” summed up the whole damn thing.

@SanFranLefty: The only person I know who has any interest is The Neighbor, and that’s because it’s on the radio when he drives home.

@SanFranLefty: Nope. I’m more concerned about what our plans are tonight for NYE, whether to A) go out to our usual gay bar which is 4 miles from where we live (not a fan of NYE driving); B) go to the straight but usually has lesbians and a few bears bar with a bunch of craft and high-grav beers that’s only a few steps from our apartment; C) stay home with our own supply of beer, bourbon, vodka and champagne. A possibility (D) may arise with some friends at their house but I’m not counting on it because one of ’em is a curmudgeon.

@Mistress Cynica: @nojo: I’m also distracted/horrified by the gang rape in India more than the bullshit coming out of DC, though I was happy to see Krugman call out the false equivalency of the analysis of the fiscal cliff.

@rptrcub: I always choose option (c). No line at the bathroom, no watered down cocktails, no assholes getting in your personal space. NYE is amateur hour in the bars and restaurants, the best part about no longer waiting tables is that I no longer have to work NYE and Valentines’ Day.

@SanFranLefty: As I get older, my patience for amateurs on NYE/Halloween/etc. diminishes.

If option A is chosen, at least we’re friends with the bartender, who will pour the cool kids very strong drinks (if he doesn’t like you, he’ll make it very clear to you, especially if you are with a gaggle of straight people who don’t know how to behave in a gay bar). But the city of Atlanta most likely has a gazillion checkpoints set up, where they are well armed and are not afraid to pull rifles on you (not kidding; welcome South!).

@rptrcub: that’s only a few steps from our apartment

There’s a reason I always insist on doing Sandy Eggo Stinque-Ups at Shakespeare’s. Short stagger back up the hill.

Happy New Year, Stinquers. Thanks for making 2012 tolerable.

@rptrcub: @SanFranLefty: There’s no question of anything but option C chez Cynica. Mr Cyn will be asleep on the couch by 7:30 at the lates, and I’ll be in bed with a book (Devil in the White City for book club) by 8. No one will see midnight unless some dumbass neighbor sets off fireworks. Also, we’ll be celebrating the 5th anniversary of the last NYE Mr Cyn worked as a server.

@Mistress Cynica: I’m going to a friend’s house but I’m the designated driver and so will be stone cold sober by midnight. West L.A. and the freeways were swarming with cops yesterday, ferchrissake.

A very Happy 2013 to all the Stinquers! See all of you at the base of the fiscal cliff tomorrow. Let’s hope the first babies born in 2013 never ever have to hear the term “fiscal cliff” in their lifetimes.

Who says I’m not?

Happy New Year, my beautiful freaks. God bless you all, even Benedick.

@Dodgerblue: HERETIC!

@Mistress Cynica: Because the people involved in possibility (D) are now “playing it by ear” and are at someone else’s house (give me a damn yes or no), not to mention the fact that Mr. Cub has to work tomorrow at 9:45, fuck it. It’s (C) for us. I don’t have patience. We bought snacks, and went ahead and bought tomorrow’s collards and black eyed peas.

Feliz año nuevo to all! If only I could give each and every one of you a bear hug of congratulations that we made it through the past year. Here’s to a better 20__!

Happy Hogmanay! Scots name for New Year’s Eve. First footing. Coal. Tall dark stranger first foot over the hearth after 12. Drunken father in the streets playing the bagpipes! Good times.

Yeah right. I’m in deep work trauma. The puppy is an enchantment. The hubby is watching Al Sharpton – don’t judge! And I’ll be in bed by 10. Luckily I was able to start drinking by 4. Phew. But srsly. Deep trauma.

Happy New Year. Remember when we all used to stay up and drink champagne? And go to parties in penthouses? Sigh. Don’t worry. For my part next year will be as pretentious as last.

2013 should be rad. I’ll finally graduate from business school in June, and I’m applying for jobs here in Seattle and in Hell-LAy. Who knows? Maybe I’ll move to Silver Lake and get involved in a murder mystery while also helping the members of the UCLA men’s soccer team explore their volcanic sexuality. This all sounds totally possible!

@¡Andrew!: I’m struck by how sensible and totally doable is your plan. Particularly the volcanic sexuality of the Sport team and the exploration thereof. Feet on the ground. Eyes on the prize.

@¡Andrew!: It’s tough to get to UCLA from Silver Lake due to current traffic patterns. I’d suggest nothing farther east or south than Culver City or said vulcanism will have abated by the time you get there. Did I tell you that I once dated a woman who played basketball for the Bruins? “Going to the hoop” jokes in 3, 2, 1 …

Meanwhile, not to piss on our parade, judge rules that Texas can defund Planned Parenthood.


If you need any last minute charitable donations for tax deduction or psychological well-being purposes, may I suggest:

Planned Parenthood of Greater Texas (many affiliates have had to combine into a Super PAC of Vagina-American rights).

/PSA over, you can go back to your regular NYE programming of dropping balls and volcanic sexuality

@Dodgerblue: You’re right: It’ll have to be the USC men’s soccer team. I could take Silver Lake Blvd to the 101, then head south on the 110 and BOOM I’m there. It really is the only sensible solution. Alternatively, I could find a nest in Brentwood.

@SanFranLefty: Life is sacred–that’s why we must have assault weapons, the death penalty, and endless apocalyptic wars. Besides, planning for parenthood has been illegal in Texas for decades.

@SanFranLefty: Donate before midnight and your pledge will be matched. Since I didn’t buy champagne this year (still recovering from nasty stomach virus) I gave the bubbly funds to Planned Parenthood.

@¡Andrew!: @Benedick: I love y’all.
Really. All y’all. Happy new year to the crazy crew that keeps me sane.
Mr Cyn is listening to the SF Furthur show streaming on Sirius. I am, as predicted, in bed with a book and a cup of tea. Life is good.

Happy new year. Now I’m going to bed.

Happy new year to all. In El Lay for the game tomorrow featuring Tree. Manhattan Beach for the sacred / scared hour. Where they just had last call. At 10pm. I can kinda sorta understand, but still: FUCKING POOR, FOO-FOO BREWPUB JOINT.

@chicago bureau: Wait, you’re in El Ay for Tree versus Badger and you didn’t summon Dodgerblue and @Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing for a Stinque-Up? I couldn’t afford the tickets to the game, otherwise I’d be there choreographing a ginormous Stinque-Up in Pasadena.

@Mistress Cynica: Bless you, darling. After I saw the matching notice and donated an appallingly high percentage of my regular paycheck as a one-time thing to PP of Texas, I went on to donate to the SPCA of SF and the Larkin Street Youth Services group that does outreach for all the teenagers thrown out of their Mormon homes for being gay.

I’m feeling a little poor after all those donations, but I’ll think of it as the bubbly fund.

@SanFranLefty: I’m not in the best shape this AM, something about tequila. I have the Rose Parade on to quiet my nerves, but horrors! I just noticed that the Rose Queen appears to be an olive-skinned person possibly not pure Aryan. Must write a letter to the Tournament of Aryan Virgins and complain.

@SanFranLefty: I need a reminder of this in the early fall. I tend to give to these groups via the United Way. It kind of makes a statement to others where I work.

Speaking of support, I really like the Soma adverts.

@Dodgerblue: What happened to being the designated driver?

@SanFranLefty: The theory was that I would taper off when midnight approached. Or the issue could be the lousy champagne I drank when the ball dropped. I’m going back to bed; wake me up for Tree v. Cheeseheads.

@Dodgerblue: Tapering never works.
Also, Stanford is playing the Green Bay Packers? I don’t follow Sport much, but that seems odd.

@Mistress Cynica: University of Wisconsin.

Watching the replay of the Rose Bowl Parade — I find it totally random but cool that Jane Goodall is the Grand Marshal this year.

@SanFranLefty: Rose Parade is the only parade I love, and the only one I would actually attend. I went years ago with a friend whose dad was on the Tournament committee (grandstand seats, no camping out). The floats are gorgeous in person and the scent is heavenly.

Did you know Portland also has a rose parade? Did you know it’s possible to drive up from Eugene the night before, sleep in a freezing camper at a freeway rest stop, and get up early to grab a good location for viewing?

Did you know my parents have somehow remained married for almost sixty years? Because it sure as hell ain’t Dad who gave a shit.

@nojo: I didn’t know about the Portland parade, but I’d say it’s a lock that my daughter didn’t get up early and go to see it.

@SanFranLefty: Shall we live-snark the game? Lynn is going over to see her mother (said mother and I have a strong dislike for each other) around game time and so I won’t have competition for the TV.

TJ/Douchebag wing of the House announces it does not support fiscal cliff comprimise. No word from the Bohner yet.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Isn’t that a hoot? That asswipe isn’t venal enough for his own troops.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Would that be Cantor or Ryan you’re referring to when you say “douchebag wing” of the House?

@Dodgerblue: You’re on! Mr. SFL is still so traumatized about his Ducks choking against the Tree and ending up in the Doritos Bowl next week, that he is boycotting the Rose Bowl and went off to Marin for the afternoon because rumor has it on the Deadhead blogs that Phil Lesh and Bob Weir are going to play at Phil’s new restaurant/live music venue in Mill Valley.

I was surprised/impressed that the Stanford band appeared to behave themselves during the parade. Apparently they’re letting alumni play with the band, so there will be more than 200 alums of all ages on the field with the band at halftime.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I’m not sure I support the compromise.

Granted, there are potentially more dire ultimate consequences than just shutting down the guvmint, like the good ol’ days of Newt & Bubba. And not with the cliff, but with the next debt-ceiling vote coming right after. But I’m not going to freak if my taxes go up, or if the military budget — still greater than the Cold War — gets cut.

The domestic budget is another thing, of course. But we’re also looking at two more years of teabagger hostage-taking, and for all I know, two years after that. I’m tired of The Preznident negotiating with economic terrorists.

@SanFranLefty: Anybody going to the Delicious Cracker Bowl, look for the secret message I designed into the souvenir luggage tags.

@SanFranLefty: Jane Goodall to do the coin toss. Awesome, or what?

@Dodgerblue: What is a badger? Is it like a weasel or a beaver?

Whatever it is, Wisconsin is going to have to figure out how to stop Stepfan Taylor. Ducks and Uklah couldn’t figure it out.

Holy 34 yard throw, freshman quarterback, holy hands, wide receiver!

@SanFranLefty: Easy TD, great catch by that kid from GA. No, I’m wearing my Pac-12 approved UCLA sweatshirt. Badgers are nasty little animals: http://theshroom.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/badger.jpg

@mellbell: Elliott Smith had me at Kierkegaard.

@Dodgerblue: Bleh. He’s the lord of putrecence. I shit on him from a great height.

@SanFranLefty: Cantor, but I’m sure that scumbag Ryan was part of the massive circle jerk they must have had before the press conference.

Another great catch by the Tree tight end (my natural position, btw). Another easy TD thereafter. They keep this up, I’m gonna go to the garage and work on my amp.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: These asshats read Ayn Rand in high school and never got over it.

@Dodgerblue: May Wisconsin’s failures presage the Packer’s failures against my Vikings next weekend.

Tsk, tsk Badgers. I guess offensive holding does make it easier to run the ball.

I thought Badgers lacked the opposable thumbs needed to pass.

@Walking Still: Tree stands firm at the goal line. They have a player named “Shittu”?

Pretty good punt coverage. I was wondering about Shittu as well – must have been an entertaining name in 4th grade.

Badger place kicker is named Jack Russell. I didn’t know terriers had that kind of leg strength.

49ers need the Tree’s place kicker.

Brent Musburger drives me crazy, the least of the reasons being his inability to correctly pronounce the word Oregon.

I realize that my hometown mascot is a Disney-licensed cartoon waterfowl, but Tree? Stanford should have went with “Robber Barons” when they had the chance.

@nojo: If only the school’s mascot were officially a tree – officially, it’s a color (and not the bird).

BTW, this reminds me, nice LTE in the Duck alumni rag.

Fuck! The rodent things scored.

I need to start drinking. Three point margin is not comfortable.

@SanFranLefty: LTE?

Also, I quit the alumni rag in a Righteous Huff twenty years ago, and have largely ignored it since. Although they paid me last spring to convert their website to WordPress, and then decided not to use it.

On the other hand, I’m all over (or under) the monthly alumni e-newsletter. Which takes forever to set up. Which I don’t mind at all, because it’s on the clock.

@SanFranLefty: In the late ’70s, Oregon’s mascot was semi-officially a color — Big Green — because Coach hated Disney-licensed cartoon waterfowl, even if you called them “Fighting Ducks”.

Me, I’ve never had a problem with it. Especially when you consider what Oregon State’s stuck with.

Show the fucking band!

@nojo: Your letter to the editor (LTE) of the quarterly alumni rag was published in the most recent issue. I saw it a few weeks ago when I was flipping through the magazine.

@SanFranLefty: If they are going to go with Cardinal, they should at least claim it’s the number, which would impress their math geek alums (though no one else).

@SanFranLefty: I meant TLSJUMB, not these fools.

@Walking Still: Heh. Now that would be funny.

@SanFranLefty: They ran that…?


Ah. Guess they did.

Well, somebody had to set the record straight. The UO has been using the Duck Vote as a fig leaf for thirty years.

@SanFranLefty: Well, I can now confirm that nobody I know, nobody I work with on campus, and not even my parents read the alumni rag. Because this is the first I’ve heard of it.

Nasty Rodents are playing some D now.

@nojo: As I recall, you ran it first here before sending it off, so it was funny to read it again on paper. And apparently I’m the only person you know who skims the rag, and I didn’t even go there.

@SanFranLefty: It’s all coming back to me now…

I’d have to hunt down the original, but I think they collapsed a graf — “It was a joke” should be a single line. Editors have always fucked with my work.

@Dodgerblue: Hope the Uklah losses to the Tree are less painful knowing that they are the ROSE BOWL CHAMPS!

@SanFranLefty: I’m going to the Tree v. Bruins basketball game next Sat in Pauley. I’m sure our crowd will be respectful.

@Dodgerblue: Girls or boys b-ball? Because the wimminz would be a way better and more fun game to watch. And the Tree will be flipping out after getting spanked by UConn at home on Saturday.

Back from the dead (no, not the Further show in Leftytown on NYE). Hamsters ate my password a while back and I had not taken the three minutes requited to reset it.

NYE was quiet at Casa RML. Watched the 2012 Total Recall with Son of RML (much better than the Arnie Original), sipped some sparking grape and apple juice, and bent the kid’s mind by playing some Monty Python’s Flying Circus from the box set Mrs RML gave me last year. There was some fiscal cliff vote coverage right around midnight on CNN.

NYD was very low key. Did a manly housecleaning with my shop vac, watched the Portlandia marathon and took my first walk outdoors in about three weeks. (Excessive work for a week, then extremely ill for two weeks. I think one led to the other.) The right knee is still shaky after I banged it when I passed out from a coughing fit before Christmas and fell out of my chair. Came to thinking weird thoughts and scratching at my throat. The break was nice because of the enforced rest, but now I have to rebuild my conditioning.

Buffalo Dance on Jan 6 (King’s Day) back at the Ancestral Homeland. Son of RML is dancing for the first time.

@redmanlaw: Oh good, you’re back!
I’ve been wondering why we hadn’t heard from you and trying not to worry about what it might mean.

@redmanlaw: Very cool re: RML Jr. and his first Buffalo Dance at the homeland. Given his artistic skills, is he designing what he is wearing, or is that an assigned thing?

@nojo: Especially once we’re all (makes drinky drinky motion). Good times.

@redmanlaw: Welcome back, amigo. We’ve missed you.

@¡Andrew!: Returned refugees are forced to buy the first two rounds, amirite?

@SanFranLefty: Dancers wear a dried full face buffalo head skin (no skull) with horns, a “beard” on a cord around one’s neck, buffalo fur arm bands with eagle feathers and buffalo fur calf bands above moccasin boots. We also wear a white buckskin or cloth kilt and a red cloth “tail.” Our arms, legs, backs and chests are painted with red mineral paint. Our family has two buffalo heads. My brother will be using one and Son of RML will wear the one I usually use, so I’ll just be wearing my hair loose and no buffalo head. It runs to about the middle of my back when I don’t tie it up.

If you correct the colors on the image in the link per my description and take the objects out of the dancer’s hands (we carry only a single arrow), you’ll have a very good idea of what we will look like on Jan 6.


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