We’re Dancing As Fast As We Can
Our guest columnist is in deep shit.
The National Rifle Association of America is made up of four million moms and dads, sons and daughters – and we were shocked, saddened and heartbroken by the news of the horrific and senseless murders in Newtown.
Out of respect for the families, and as a matter of common decency, we have given time for mourning, prayer and a full investigation of the facts before commenting.
The NRA is prepared to offer meaningful contributions to help make sure this never happens again.
The NRA is planning to hold a major news conference in the Washington, DC area on Friday, December 21.
NRA Statement on Newtown School Shootings [WSJ]
Now dance! <kapow!>
“The NRA is planning to hold a major news conference in the Washington, DC area on Friday, December 21.”
Holy shit, maybe the Mayans were right after all.
@IanJ: I looked real hard for something like that, but “western movie shooter tap dance” just doesn’t work in Google Images.
Does waiting for a full investigation of the facts mean they’re hoping a medical examiner will rule all the victims died from athlete’s foot or maybe from halitosis instead of from bullets ripping through their bodies?
@nojo: I can see how that would be a difficult image to find. I think tapdancing is a fine substitute, though.
@SanFranLefty: Yeah, they’re gonna hold a major press conference saying they’re doubling down on the crazy. Don’t hold your breath expecting them to bow to something as inconvenient as reality.
@SanFranLefty: ok, you win the Internet. What will you do with your new real estate?
They will announce that they are forming a committee to study whether crazy people should have access to assault rifles.
They may be willing to compromise on 50 round clips and rocket propelled grenades. Stinger missles are still off the table–you gotta have something in case the black helicopters show up.
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • 2026 Election Results Arizona has a Democratic trifecta for the first time since 1966! The former power brokers in the…
NOJO • 2026 Election Results @ManchuCandidate: Oh gawd, forgot that night. This one, while everything was pointing in the right…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • 2026 Election Results I hope that the GOPers understand a little of what black men (and some other minorities) have dealt…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • 2026 Election Results Fuck yeah. Sort of like watching 2010 with Nojo, but way less shitty results. That old witch…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Gawd, you keep missing the target!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…