Sometimes Mitt Even Drank Regular Coke

Why does that make me feel all dirty and gross?

Nitpick alert: Caffeine Free Diet Coke comes in a gold can.

@Tommmcatt Wears A Hoodie Daily: Because you were around for the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings and so when you hear “can of Coke” you think, “pubic hair.”

Or maybe that’s just me.

@SanFranLefty: What a lying sack of shit he was in those hearings. Now, he’s a silent sack of shit.

@Tommmcatt Wears A Hoodie Daily: Okay, sons. Let’s leave the womenfolk behind. Weekend in the woods. Hot sun striking down. Too hot to wear jeans. Hey, dad, let’s go commando. Okay, boys, last one in the pool is a sissy. Who will need to be spanked. Over my knee. Okay Tagg, you can wrestle your brother. Just be sure you don’t tear off his jock strap. Oops. Look what’s happened now. Reckon we need to pray over that fine upstanding man meat. Or allow it into our hallowed mouths. Garg, you got one too? Okay boys, your mom ain’t here, how do we deal with all this Romney wood? Cause I gotta say I’m leaking juice in my magic undies.

Mormon pron.

Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap.

@Benedick: Oh, NOW I feel better.

@SanFranLefty: Ew, I had forgotten that somehow.

@Tommmcatt Wears A Hoodie Daily: You say “ew” to me, when we have Benedick causing a run on mind bleach?

Though some of those Romney boys would be a fun hate fuck. They’ve probably never done it any other way than missionary style poked through a hole in the magic underpants.

Corollary to the “who would you want to have a beer with” school of how to pick a president – if you had to imagine the thought of the presidential candidate couples fucking, which coupling makes you least likely to pull out the mind bleach?

Unicorn and Shelley Oh for the unanimous win.

I mean, really… Newticle and Plastic Lady? Frothy Mix and Subservient Wife? Mittens and Annie?

Okay. I know I have this really horrible accent, and she doesn’t have a Utard accent, so help a sister out?

“miss-CHEE-vee-us”?

I thought it was “MISS-cha-vuss.”