Double Your Humiliation With the Stinque Losers Braquet!

“The carnage was horrific. I saw more people stuffed into that cellar than was humanly possible. One man caressed his dead listings, crying ‘Why me, God? Why me?'”

We interrupt Mike Daisey’s absolutely true one-man show of the first weekend of the NCAA tournament with this breaking news: The Stinque Losers Braquet is now open for epistemic closure!

Braquet Queen Mellbell has stationed armed guards outside the Gates of Yahoo Hell to gather your pitiful stories. Click the Join Group button and spill your guts:

Group ID: 6698
Password: marchsadness

You have until 7:15pm ET Thursday to enter. As always, losers will be publicly shamed by an Ira Glass impersonator.


My team is out. All I care about now is the 14 inches of new snow at the local ski area where I’ll be this weekend and whether Payton Manning will last more than two games for my Broncos before he ends up on his back looking at the sky on a permanent basis.

@redmanlaw: I was hoping my Bears would make a play for him. Two great injury prone quarterbacks are better than one.

The Chron says the 49’ers are interested in Tebow. I hope he isn’t still clinging to guns and religion when he gets to EssEff. It’ll be a bit of culture shock.

I’ll be in China for the Final Four and the championship game, but I’ve downloaded the tournament app — only $4 and you get every game!

BREAKING NEWS: Guerrero state government: At least 800 houses collapsed in Igualapa, Mexico, a town near earthquake’s epicenter.


@Barrington Chadsworth IV: you got brandon marshall to hook back up with cutler. that’s gonna be something to bless or blame in extremes. Chicago might be the only place where marshall will get his ass kicked in a bar fight though.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: No playtime until you finish your homework. Close Gitmo and we’ll talk.

@Dodgerblue: Dude, check the fine print to see if it works outside CONUS (and Canada). I’ve had some things that I can only log into via a VPN, like Hulu and Netflix.

Woot! I’m in first in the big original pool!

Loser Update — in Stereo! Cynica and… wait… Corky?

@nojo: I’m prospering in the Loser Bracket. That seems about right.


Congrats Lefty!

I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but just thought I’d note: If the bracket of the President of the United States of America had not been summarily banned from the Stinque or Swim competition, then the bracket of the President of the United States of America would now be leading the Stinque or Swim competition with the following score:

36 of 52 picks – 53 points – 156 Possible Points

But I am not bitter.

I am happy for you.

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