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Reviews for “Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant – 55 Gallon”, sold for $1,495 by Amazon. Note: Includes pump.

  • “The product only took a week to arrive, and got to my apartment just in time for my first real ‘date’ since the gas station incident.”
  • “Nothing says romance better and is more guaranteed to get you laid than rolling out a 55 gallon drum of lube.”
  • “Now I know what you’re thinking: ‘Dave why don’t you quit drinking?’ ‘Dave maybe you should ease up on the porn, the kids haven’t seen you in weeks.’ ‘My god, the cats all white and sticky.'”

  • “Perfect gift for that special someone’s Bat Mitzvah.”
  • “I can’t count the number of 5-gallon jugs of lube I purchased before I realized the amount of money I could save by buying in quantity.”
  • “I have had a problem for years where I could never get enough lube. Since mine is roughly 5,000 feet long and 4 feet wide, a normal bottle was never enough.”
  • “I bought this product thinking it would be the perfect way to disentangle my 5,000-odd porcupines after a peanut butter tanker flipped over in the yard during the nightly feeding frenzy. Instead of separating them, it just made them amorous.”
  • “This is a hazard! I’ve already lost two cats in this thing.”
  • “As a Fertility Specialist for Pachyderms, this was exactly what we needed to help rebuild elephant populations all over sub-Saharan Africa. It’s not all just Medications and IVF treatments. Some times you need a loudspeaker, a Barry White CD and a 55 Gallon drum of Lube.”
  • “It’s like buying condoms from Costco!”
Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant – 55 Gallon [Amazon, via Kottke]

I get the feeling that someone’s been saving this for ages waiting for just the right time.

Someone’s really taking their love of the movie “Old School” too far.

Andrew Breitbart is DEAD??????????

@Benedick: F8ck that – take a look at our President, hustling up on stage with that Too Cool For School swagger we all know and love so much.

@ManchuCandidate: Does cocaine count as ‘natural causes’? (I could get much much worse but will stop)

@Nabisco: Damn! True, he’s no Johnny Earl but… damn!

In Hollywood. Anywhere else… not so much.

@ManchuCandidate: Or choking on semen… ? I’ll stop now. I really will.

Not for the first time, one of our fearless leader’s postings proves eerily prescient.

@Benedick: Yes, restraint is needed. The man had a wife and children, and countless fans. He was an activist and a media critic, apparently, according to the MSM.

They don’t mention liar and scumbag, so I’ll add that here. Also, I imagine it’s much easier to choke on dog shit than semen.

…and that’s restrained.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: You’re a better man than I am. But we already knew that. You have heart and a rare intelligence while I’m just sex-on-a-stick.

Breaking/Breitbart dead, per reports. Appears not to be a hoax at this point.

See rawstory, etc.

@redmanlaw: Maybe he can get a cameo on The Walking Dead, now.

Little Andy Brightbart, famous at last.

@Benedick: I’m not posting an obituary. If anyone deserves one, it’s Davy Jones.

@SanFranLefty: The day that Ted Kennedy died, Breitbart tweeted: I’ll shut my mouth for Carter. That’s just politics. Kennedy was a special pile of human excrement. Which is about the best and most eloquent epitaph for Breitbart I’ve seen.

@Benedick: don’t stop. fuck bitchbrat. remember this:

Breitbart seldom showed restraint in his vitriol to his critics and seemed to relish in the negative attention his antics earned him. After Sen. Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts died in 2009, Breitbart tweeted “Rest in Chappaquiddick” and called him “a special pile of human excrement.”
When critics questioned his tone, he tweeted they “missed my best ones!”

my first thought was coke killed him too. i have scene clips of him too many times being too jittery and anxious to believe different. he died at 43 looking 63.

question for all the stinque attorneys:
can shirley sherrods civil suit against bitchbrat proceed against his estate?

@Benedick: You’re ahead of me. But only because I’m just waking up.

@redmanlaw: remember the onion story about a car wreck where glenn beck was unfortunately NOT the victim?

can sherrods lawsuit against bitchbrat proceed against his estate?

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: And here I thought “Eat Shit and Die” was just a colorful expression.

@Benedick: Cocaine overdose is on the list of “natural causes” at the Los Angeles County Coroner, along with loss-of-control liposuction and texting-while-driving.

@¡Andrew!: Okay, ¡Andrew! you win the “Make SFL snort on her martini” award of the night.

@jwmcsame: Yes.

it’s LA jake, let us not forget, “exhaustion.”

@¡Andrew!: Skin Tight by Carl Hiaasen – best book ever featuring death by liposuction.

@Walking Still: We have a friend from South America whose mom died that way.

@Walking Still:
hey Still…i LOVE Carl. have missed that one. going into the kindle. thanks!

@redmanlaw: Sorry to hear about that. The character in Skin Tight deserved it, and the quack who performed it meets an appropriate fate.

@baked: Always glad to find another Carl fan. I got hooked on Native Tongue and worked forward and backward through his catalogue after that.

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