Laws Are Like Sausagefests

Witnesses at today’s Darrell Issa hearing on contraception, which Issa says is really a hearing on religious freedom.

Democratic Women Boycott House Contraception Hearing After Republicans Prevent Women From Testifying [ThinkProgress]

Honestly. What the fuck do those guys know about female issues? It appears that at least two of them haven’t even been inside a woman (assuming here.)

Colbert Report suspended? Two live shows cancelled.

Not even buying us ladiez a drink before screwing us.

/you beat me to the post, Nojo. Damn conference calls.

Meanwhile…Frothy Mix’s sugar daddy says slutty gals just need to stop spreading their legs:

Asked if he worried that Santorum’s Puritanical views on sex and social issues could hurt the candidate in the general election, Friess offered a more home-spun family planning scheme:

FRIESS: On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.

@SanFranLefty: Well, it was all over the Twitters. My only hope was that I could find a photo, which tells the story much better than any text.

@Benedick: Jon Stewart only canceled a show twice: once for a birth, the other for a death. This doesn’t bode well.

The He-Man Woman-Hater’s Club, all grown up. Sorta. Question is, does Issa play Spanky or Alfalfa?

The Republican brand “is in a state of collapse — over 50 percent of voters give the Republican Party a negative rating . . . Romney “may be on the edge of political death” . . . . Democratic support is led by “a resurgence and re-engagement of unmarried women.”

@SanFranLefty: I see where Newt’s sugar daddy has cut him off.

How many altar boys do you think they have under that table?

@redmanlaw: The idea that the RepubliKKKan party is somehow finished is pure fantastical wish-fulfillment. They control the US House, the Suepreem KKKort, the majority of the federal courts, the majority of governorships and state legislatures, not to mention the military, the budget, right-wing propaganda media, including television and radio, and consequently the national dialogue and political process.

The “Left” has no actual representation in US government at any significant level, except perhaps Bernie Sanders in the US Senate, and zero political power.

Indeed, even after causing a total national collapse in the last decade, the RepubliKKKan party is more powerful than ever.

The problem isn’t necessarily the politicians, it’s the ignorant, hate-crazed, neo-fascist, right-wing voters who keep electing them. Until we somehow get better Americans, we’re going to have horrendous politicians.

@¡Andrew!: We’re trying to pretend Andrew. Leave us our illusions.

How can we float a plan to draft Victoria Jackson?

As to the aspirin plan, we all did that back in the day. If you shove one up your ass it stops HIV. What is won’t stop is stupidity. You need Aleve for that.


I dunno – I suspect a couple dozen aspirin will work quite effectively as a cure for stupidity. ;)

Click here to read the text of the female Georgetown law student who the Rethugs refused to let testify on the issue, despite the minority chair’s request.

@¡Andrew!: Until we somehow get better Americans, we’re going to have horrendous politicians.

I’ve been living that nightmare for thirty years. It was probably Ever Thus, but that’s when it caught my attention.

On a happier note, an old Chinese lady grabs Black Eagle’s ass when he pops in to a dim sum place in SF’s Chinatown before a big fundraiser.

@SanFranLefty: Oh my God, he is the dreamiest preznint ever. I would so like to grab his fine ass someday and do it some serious damage.

Do we really think Americans are going to 86 the fun stuff?

Of course no one is going to listen to the women because they don’t have a penis but instead have the envy. As everyone knows there’s nothing more fun than a beef widget that goes up and down. Ask noje. You can pet it, and stroke it, and feed it healthful unguents. You can shave it and dress it up and put a ring around it and pierce it. Plus you get to play with the dangly bits. You can suck them and fondle them under the table (good on a date with his parents), smack them till he calls you Sir while you pick out the hair from between your teeth. Guy bits are fun. They’re a hobby. An avocation. Get the guys onboard with their bits and you got splooge all over (by ‘splooge’ the editors here at Stinque

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. Mel Brooks and Monty Python did it much better than these clowns.

But you have to give it to them for giving Misogynists everywhere hope.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: @Dodgerblue: @Benedick: Those adorable pictures of the Chinese ladies squeezing the First Ass totally made my day. Given how Barry doesn’t fill out his mom jeans (even Benedick has to admit Barry can’t work those jeans), I was surprised to see how muscular his ass was. I would grab his ass like a rope pulling me out of quicksand. /I need Andrew’s help with these metaphors.

I had to keep reminding myself of the awesomeness of that photo tonight when the clusterfuck of San Francisco street traffic as a result of Obama-related closures made my trip home longer than usual.

ADD: Paging RML – In response to a comment on SF Gate expressing concern for his safety in mixing with the peeps, another commenter said you can clearly see the bulletproof vest/Kevlar under his shirt in some of the pics. Thoughts? I am sure Benedick would think it’s hard to cut such a fine line as he does if you’ve got Kevlar next to the skin, though perhaps Barry has access to the super-secret high tech shit that’s so thin that it’s like Spanx.

@Benedick: What I most like about Barry is that, despite his millions and, oh, being preznit of the USA, he wears the same watch he wore four years ago. Always.

@SanFranLefty: pic of him at the counter, bags in hand, money down, is convincing. Not Bush-era, throwing out a pitch Kevlar, but I doubt it is just a padded white guinea tee.

@SanFranLefty: There is nothing wrong with his ass. Nothing. It’s taut and fine and just as it should be.

@Nabisco: In other words he’s unspoiled?

@Nabisco: And he still wears his Crackberry clipped to his belt. Although I think Benedick would agree that Barry should switch to an iPhone.

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