Abandon All Health, Ye Who Enter Here
Our guest columnist is finally able to celebrate his decision to spend a career in journalism.
The Heart Attack Grill in downtown Las Vegas lived up to its name Saturday night, when a customer dining on a “triple bypass burger” suffered an apparent heart attack.
Man suffers heart attack at Heart Attack Grill [FOX5 Vegas]
Anyone seen Rush Limbaugh recently? I’ve got this wonderful new restaurant I’d like to reccomend to him.
Tourists were disheartened [ugh], but not entirely surprised to hear about the incident.
…
Customers, however, continued eating the burgers, fries, and shakes Tuesday night.
So glad I’m actually learning and being freaked out by the crap I used to eat. Holy shit, it’s a wonder I’m still alive.
Imma shill for this, because the reports have taught me so much, things like my brand of mustard is fucking killing me. Mustard? Good God!
Okay — who is stuffing the ballot with farts?
Here’s how we do it in PA Dutch Country:
Gastric Bypass Surgery Policy
Year #1 – 50% off base price.
Year #2 – 10% off base price.
Year #3 – 0% off base price.
Incomplete Documentation – 0% off base price.
To receive the reduced price you must provide the following documentation!Photo ID
Gastric Bypass Card with Patient Name and Date Of Original Surgery.
Proof of Surgery via a Doctors Signature or other Documentation.NOTE: This policy is intended as a short-term price adjustment to accomodate a person whose intake is limited due to gastric bypass surgery.
Legend has it that there are special grinders in the toilets to deal with the underpants people flush b/c they didn’t quite make it to the restroom in time.
Stope eating meat and cheese and you’re golden.
@Serolf Divad: ed schultz wondered last night why 4 time married and childless rush was so concerned about why women needed birth control options.
home made fried donuts from biscuit mix
http://kirbiecravings.com/2010/06/sugared-doughnuts-using-pillsbury-biscuit-dough.html
This reminds me — had my physical this morning, a pure wellness exam. An EKG, long talk with the doc, testicular exam (weird), multiple blood draws, Hep A vaccine. Cost to me: $0. All hail Comrade Obama and his glorious commie health reform!
@rptrcub: Just like if you were a member of congress.
@rptrcub: What, no prostate exam? Lucky toddler.
@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: They seem to care more about your nuts rather than your prostate if you’re under 40.
It all ends rather badly, nonetheless . . .
The owner is a former nutritionist… WTF!
@JNOV is like, Peace?: The Muffin Monster 3000. Prisons like to use them for the sheets and other sundry items that the occupants love to dispose of.
@rptrcub: Wait. It’s all about the ass.
@rptrcub: That’s weird; my doctor has been giving me a prostate exam since I was 25. I guess I can also get one for free at Seattle Steamworks.
@¡Andrew!: One could also get an exam for free during an alien abduction. Could be a hassle getting the records from your provider, though.
Ate a Baconator once to win a bet … not a good idea.
@DElurker: See! No one believes me, man. Thank YOU!
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