It’s Halftime in America, and Madonna is the Republican Primary
Being an Alien Spy, we skipped the Super Bowl as usual, in favor of administering anal probes to Republican presidential candidates. (Our report to our superiors indicates that this method is losing its effectiveness, seeing as they all seem to enjoy it, especially Newt.) But judging from our Twitter feed, the highlight of the presentation was this automobile commercial shilled by America’s Second-Greatest Chimpanzee Co-Star.
Since we have yet to understand Sport Metaphors, we’re having difficulty with the timing of Halftime. Is this to say that America only has thirty minutes left to exist? Or ninety minutes, allowing for commercial breaks? Perhaps the commercial is taking the long view, and America has a good two centuries left, although we’re down by a couple touchdowns right now and everybody’s heading for the exits?
Then again, since the obvious reference is America’s Greatest Chimpanzee Co-Star, perhaps the commercial is telling us that we’re twenty-eight years in, and we still have twenty-eight years to go before America can hit the showers.
However you work the timing, this much is certain: It’s gonna be a long second half.