It’s Halftime in America, and Madonna is the Republican Primary

Being an Alien Spy, we skipped the Super Bowl as usual, in favor of administering anal probes to Republican presidential candidates. (Our report to our superiors indicates that this method is losing its effectiveness, seeing as they all seem to enjoy it, especially Newt.) But judging from our Twitter feed, the highlight of the presentation was this automobile commercial shilled by America’s Second-Greatest Chimpanzee Co-Star.

Since we have yet to understand Sport Metaphors, we’re having difficulty with the timing of Halftime. Is this to say that America only has thirty minutes left to exist? Or ninety minutes, allowing for commercial breaks? Perhaps the commercial is taking the long view, and America has a good two centuries left, although we’re down by a couple touchdowns right now and everybody’s heading for the exits?

Then again, since the obvious reference is America’s Greatest Chimpanzee Co-Star, perhaps the commercial is telling us that we’re twenty-eight years in, and we still have twenty-eight years to go before America can hit the showers.

However you work the timing, this much is certain: It’s gonna be a long second half.


Ooops, “commercial no longer available.”

Way to not go viral, Chrysler. Next why don’t put “private property, no tresspassing” signs on the front door of all your dealerships.

@Serolf Divad:
It’s more the heavy handed morans at the No Fun League aka NFL.

It’s back on YouTube, apparently by popular request. Or else Chrysler realized that all the other SB commercials are still there for The Day After™ ad reviews.

“Like a Virgin” Madonna or “Don’t cry for my pathetic acting, Argentina” Madonna?

I suspect the 2012 GOPers are “Swept Away” Madonna.

Having slept for several hours after getting home from the hospital, I was busy watching things I could have watched at a different time on Netflix: ST:TOS, South Park, etc. Watched the halftime show this morning on the YouTubes before it got pulled, just to fulfill my gay duties.

Hospital? I hope it’s work/studies related.

@ManchuCandidate: Cardiac scare. Doing OK now, but there’s no clue what caused the problem. Following up with a cardiologist this week and then going for a regular physical on the 16th.

I liked the Eastwood spot. If Detroit made a small 4-wheel drive station wagon of Subaru-like quality I’d buy one — when my current Subie dies in 20 years or so.

Not to be persnickety but Clint worked with orangutans. You must be thinking of Johnny Weissmuller. I don’t think he should be considered Second-Greatest unless of course you are comparing him to Cheetah instead of Ronnie.

What struck me as I watched this is that it is a two minute spot. That is some serious money to put up.

This is the ad generating buzz, really? It’s a pale milquetoast stepchild to Eminem’s amazing Detroit ad from last year, and I kept wanting Clint the clear his throat.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @DElurker: I’m going to let it stand as a cautionary tale about not fact-checking my memory.

Isn’t the Superbowl compulsory for all heterosexual American males, like Selective Service?

@rptrcub: (hugz) I hope you feel better soon.

@DElurker: That was in Every Which Way But Loose, which was shot in New Mexico and even in the ancestral homeland when I was in high school. A friend was a dishwasher at the restaurant where Clint, female lead and orangutan had dinner in the movie. My friend kept Clint’s plate for a while.

This was well before Clint came back strong in Unforgiven.

@¡Andrew!: Fuck, I wish, then I could have watched the goddamn game instead of being husband/daddy/son-in-law/cook/homework monitor-enforcer/shopper/wood cutter although I did get to nap for a little bit and finished 11/23/63 by Stephen King before the game. Did not see one ad, only heard the last few minutes of the game and didn’t see the halftime show until lunchtime today with the leftover hot dogs our office manager made for us today.

@rptrcub: Best wishes for your health, dude.

@rptrcub: Having experienced that this fall, I feel for you. Hope everything checks out OK.

@rptrcub: Feel better.

Is it just me or does this ad seem unbearably pompous? And WTF is up with his voice? Can’t he clear his throat and talk like a human? If you’re going to do an ad about Detroit coming back to life then you might at least tell us WHY it came back to life.

There is a confusion abroad in the land that movie stars actually do the things their characters do. And that commercials have some bearing on real life. Neither is true. Apart from sean Penn in NO and Angelina Jolie at the UN.

Thanks everybody for the well-wishes. SFL has made a suggestion of a cardiologist who can probably deal with a possible culprit of the chest-pain problem.

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