Children of the Corndog

So, which Idiots to guide us tonight? MSNBC or CNN?

Tweety’s not helping.

OH HEY — C-SPAN has gavel to gavel of a caucus. This is where the crazy comes to play.

As others have observed, GOP Caucuses don’t require photo ID.

@nojo: I’ve got Nate Silver’s live blogging up.

This would make a lot more sense if they broadcast it from a Hee Haw set.

@nojo: @chicago bureau: no cable here, but I think I can get over the air digital of Al Jizz and Univision.

@nojo: did you get my tweet about man on dog mouth-to-mouth resuscitation in Pennsyltucky? I thought that was as least as funny as The Worm’s turn.

Nobody in Urbandale wants to speak for Michelle Bachmann. Ooof.

But first, let’s honor our 2011 FFA winners.

@Nabisco: Canine resuscitation has been done. And Topless Ballers was an appropriately inappropriate opening.

@chicago bureau: Any white folk left in Urbandale, or did they all flee to Suburbandale?

Perry speaker is from…. Texas. Which is not in Urbandale, or Iowa. Huh.

Anyway: bio/hagiography of Perry,then talking about leadership as being able to get people to do what they won’t do. Country is at “tipping point,” because we “forgot where we came from.” And… scene.

Whenever politicians speak of Urbandale, it’s code for Shiftless Gingers.

@chicago bureau: Is that code for “Hey, Obama’s Black!”

@nojo: No flight from Urbandale.

Ron Paul’s flack is next. He’s the only one who would speak for the guy. Says that youth is behind the old man. Consistent, totally gay for the Constitution. Foreign policy is a bit goofy, but hey — it’s Ron Paul. It’s libertarian. It’s funky fresh — as funky fresh as a white guy can be. And… scene.

@chicago bureau: The Chattering Class is complaining that Mittens isn’t getting enough attention for his baldface lies talking points, but folks, we’ll have all year for that.

I heard that shit went down on the mean streets of Urbandale the other day. Two gangs faced off with BB guns.

Oh, here comes Mrs. Frothy! She’s got a button on her sweater of a baby. Because babies are cute. Oh, and she’s homeschooling seven kids (four in the house, including the stunned one from 2006 Loser Party, sans glasses), so she’s kinda new to this whole “political wife” thing.

Family strength = national strength, economic strength. Oh — this is new — Rick grew up in public housing. So he’s a socialist, then.

@chicago bureau: Please tell me the baby is the Santorum Stillborn Child. Because he’s been in the news lately.

More Mrs. Frothy — homeschooling good, abortion bad, radical Islam bad, praying to the right God good, etc. etc. etc. Santorum clan exeunt.

@chicago bureau: Yeah, that homeschooling gig where they lived in Virgininny but had the kids affiliated with a school in PA for the tax breaks. Total frothy mix bag, that family.

NBC is calling it a three-way between Mittens, Frothy Mix, and Ron Paul.

Hmmm… Do we have an Official Nickname for Ron Paul? Besides the one for his supporters.

@chicago bureau: Ron Paul is for his followers what Rick Perry tries to be but fails: the southern white man who will run that black man outta office.

@nojo: No idea — looked like that baby was doing something, which the stillborn baby had no ability to do, natch.

Now Gingrich flack — who initially supported Herman Cain. Which is a strong opening line, honestly. Newtie, per flack, says U.S. America has big problems, and he can fix it, “humbly.” Then says Newt is really, really smart.

“Cognitive dissonance, offense. Five yard penalty, still 2nd down.”

Gingrich flack now talking smack about Chicago. Poorly. Somebody get the hook — he’s done.

@chicago bureau: Has he reached the Teleprompter Gags yet?

Borrowed wifi doesn’t like streaming CSPAN, it seems.

@nojo: that’s the one. How does that measure up on the Palin Political Prop scale? Extra points for the fact that one miscarriage out of eight pregnancies is still pretty damn fecund.

Chairman of Urbandale caucus is also a Mitt Romney flack. And he set the rules for this caucus (15% threshold to get a tasty, tasty delegate). Hmmmmmm.

Anyway: Mittens is a proven leader. He fixed the Salt Lake Olympics, after the Salt Lake Olympics were fixed. And he’s a dad. And scene…. and now the voting begins, soonish.

Evening sport: Listening for double entendres as talking heads discuss Santorum.

@Nabisco: Dead Baby beats Live Downs Baby every time. Unfortunately, Santorum might not last long enough to qualify for the ballot.

A year on, let me get this out of the way: I miss Keef.

Oh, smackdown on people who did not show up to cause a ruckus from Mr. Chairman guy in Urbandale, and then says people died for right to vote. People also died for right to raise a ruckus (within reason, obvs.) at a political meeting. Weirdo.

Iowa state GOP reading from the Urbandale chairman — suggestion that Black Eagle will raise over 1 double-extra-large. “Elections cannot be bought,” the GOP statement reads.

Oh, honey. No.

Ballots being unfolded and stacked now.

Meryl Streep as Thatcher: Yeah, that’ll pack the multiplex.

Uh-oh — some ballots hit the floor, under the table. Shenanigans!

@nojo: How about “Blimpie”? Too 2008?

The stack for Mittens looks rather healthy….

Looks like this for Urbandale —

Crazyeyes 14
Newtie 34
Ranger Rick 37
THAT’S NOT IN THE CONSTITUTION 50
Frothy 82
Mittens 115

Pending second count….

ADD — Paul picks up 1, for 51 total. Willard also picks up one, for 116. We had one for Huntsman, too.

@Walking Still: Maybe Dr. Evol.

@nojo: I like yours better.

RESULT. Urbandale has spoken.

Paul on 15.2%, so he gets one delegate.

Frothy at 24.5% which is good for two delegates.

Mittens takes down three delegates, on 34.6% of votes cast.

Better luck next time for everybody else.

@Walking Still: You get the assist for making me think about the blimp.

I don’t get the vote count on MSNBC. Do votes count, or just counties?

@nojo: Here’s the scoop — each caucus elects delegates to county conventions. (Delegates are not locked in to support the guy who they would support, necessarily.) County delegates convene and elect delegates to the state convention, who select the 25 delegates that go to the RNC shindig.

So essentially the Iowa Caucuses are a straw poll on steroids.

Nate Silver says “Bachmann In Early Hole.”

@chicago bureau: Ah. So you read all those backgrounders today.

@nojo: Not today. Geek For Life. Word.

NOOZ: Gary Johnson out of the third party nonsense and is now gay for Ron Paul.

@chicago bureau: Do the other Partners know this damning information about you?

Oh, Fineman says that Bachmann flacks are blaming (very very privately except for the whole leaking it to Fineman thing) the whole XX chromosome deal for her poor showing. Shock.

@nojo: I could be a Dork For Life, but that would make me Frothy.

(NOTE: Geek For Life is more like a President For Life sort of thing. Nothing to do with central control of ladybits. Just to be clear.)

@chicago bureau: BREAKING: GARY JOHNSON ADMITS OWN IRRELEVANCE.

@nojo: hee hee.

@chicago bureau: Michele Bachmann doesn’t have a third leg to stand on.

OH NOES — Gary Johnson bid drop is a HOAX, per Rachel. Uff da.

@nojo: The others do? Well, maybe Herm.

@nojo: Santorum’s got three legs. Thus he has a stool. (Rimshot.)

@chicago bureau: So: Who burned Howard?

So glad you guys are watching this so I don’t have to … emptying out the Tivo instead.

@chicago bureau: Has a stool? or, IS a stool.

@chicago bureau:

Gingrich used to until Callista newtered him.

@blogenfreude: It’s like watching a bunch of ex-jocks do the pregame.

Ed Schultz (whose makeup job looks passable, for a change) suggests Frothy is going to reach out for Jim DeMint for some help down in South Carolina. That’s an apt observation. If that can happen, Santorum can be the anti-Romney down where Mormonism is looked at askance.

It looks like Ranger Rick is just as done as Crazyeyes is. If Gingrich underwhelms in New Hampshaaah, he might be toast too. Presuming that Huntsman is not long for this too, that leaves Paul, Santorum and Mitt. I think that Paul has a 25% ceiling, so this is shaping up as a Santorum v. Romney showdown into Super Tuesday.

@chicago bureau: I liked the passing jab at Mittens-backer Nikki Haley.

MSNBC polls suggest that 57% caucus goers are born-again. Among the thumpers, Romney did not score into the top three. Frothy, NOT IN THE CONSTITUTION, and Newtie — 30, 21, 14. Mitt and Perry at 13 apiece. That’s not terribly heartening for Willard, there.

O’Donnell GOES THERE on Santorum being Catholic. Could THAT be a thing? Fifty-someodd years after Kennedy, THAT could be a thing? Gee whiz.

Geography lesson: Iowa counties are very square.

@nojo: It works. Iowans are very square. (Except the rotund ones.)

I love the fact that, in the modern GOP, supposedly overrun with tea partiers, the New Hampshaaah primary is almost a fucking afterthought in light of the Bible Belt primary in South Carolina.

Let me break out my two-sizes-too-big suit coat. “Same as it ever was…. same as it ever was…. same as it ever was….”

Romney-Santorum-Paul. All the debates were meaningless.

@chicago bureau: To be fair, NH is being ignored because it’s considered a Romney lock. No, um, intelligence to be gleaned there.

@nojo: Well, it is the tea-partiest state in the Union. Ron Paul could score there with a close second. Anything’s possible if that happens. And if the rEVOLution strikes gold where otherwise there would be granite? LOOK THE FUCK OUT.

@chicago bureau: Everybody’s spreading Santorum over the thought of a Paul-brokered convention.

@blogenfreude: I’m actually watching on Fox News. It’s sort of like watching the Soviet-era May Day parade.

Their themes are: too close to call, Dr. Evol is backed by independent interlopers who don’t count, and Romney benefits from split opposition.

@nojo: Sexxxy Grampa?

I think the definitive answer is that Ron Paul’s absolute ceiling is 25% in any given race. That’s too bad. Black Eagle would absolutely destroy Ron Paul.

@nojo: Oh, man — a floor fight for the nomination would be ten times better than Hillbot 9000’s attempt at a Denver donnybrook. Please, God. I’ve been good. I deserve happiness. I deserve joy. MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

@Walking Still: Okay, I’ve had enough beer to give them a shot for awhile.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Ummm… No.

It’s Dr. Evol in the lead, until Chainsaw overrules.

@Walking Still: Megyn Kelly is filling my head with strange thoughts.

Gingrich is being forced to deny that he plans to withdraw. Not good for the amphibian (reptile?).

When did John Roberts switch to Fox? And why do I care?

@nojo: Go with it. It will help with the smarm factor.

Fox boasts that its analysis is not scientific. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

@Walking Still: So, none of the Fox candidates in the Top 3?

Bret Baier: “This is really a battle for fourth place.”

@nojo: Implicitly, Santorum is the Fox candidate (at least tonight). Karl the talking ham, in his spleen, thinks Romney needs to get the nod. The rest of the idiots are having frothy fantasies.

@nojo: I thought Rupert endorsed Frothy Mix?

P.S. I heart Dr. Evol. Even if Chainsaw comes up with something more brilliant that we wind up using.

@Walking Still: Is Fox going to open the Ark of the Covenant at the end of the evening?

Is Bill Kristol trying to whip up energy for a late (Snowbilly) entrant?

Speak of the devil, here she is.

Hey, look, it’s Tina Fey!

Hitting the meth a little hard isn’t she.

Wow. Never seen her in HD before. Wow. Looks like a retiree with a facelift.

Bret Baier: “You have a lot of power in the Republican Party.” Which must be why she’s in the lead. Wait, what?

Sarah should just put her endorsement up for sale on EBay.

Talibunny bitches about “very negative and unfair shots” taken at Gingrich. The Stinque Intern Squad is racking up the 2008 reel.

Hey guys — anybody who wants to kick dirt on the grave of the Bachmann campaign…. behold:

http://www.stinque.com/2012/01/03/crazy-can-only-get-you-so-far/

@nojo: Baby doll, rest. You can’t make them have a brain. You are just one ALW fanboy in some provincial backwater no one’s ever heard of. You can’t change the world. You can’t make Michele Bachman think. Then she’d have to see her ‘husband’. Crank up the Sarah Brightman Harem tour DVD, pour a chocolate vodka ‘cocktail’, kick off the Birks, peel back the socks if you can and chill, my bro.

I went out today to buy new/shiny. It is so awesome I’m scared to turn it on. Let’s just say that I’ve got most of Ulster County’s wifi needs covered.

Megan, in effect, asks Ranger Rick why his campaign sucked so hard. Unsurprisingly, Rick doesn’t understand the question.

Is it over? Does anyone care? Like it wasn’t always Romney? Justice Roberts bet the farm.

@Walking Still: Oy. Or as you Texans would say, Oy.

Fox gloats that Dr. Evol is dropping back a smidge.

Bret Baier says the different Iowa Counties have different “complexions”. I might have picked a different term.

@Walking Still: The old saying is a political gaffe occurs when somebody tells the truth. So Bret wins that prize for the next forever with that observation.

@SanFranLefty: How about Doc Pocalypse?

@FlyingChainSaw: Doctor Kilpatient! Doctor Kilpatient!

ADD: What about, in reference to Rand, Papa Doc? (But that’s mean, really.)

Rove-bot is trying to slide Evol into the second tier. He knows who butters his bread.

Sanford gets airtime. The Appalachian Trail must be frozen.

@chicago bureau: It’s great but it doesn’t embrace the total consequences of the Paul administration, though Psychogeezer just made fun of personal annoying traits.

Fuck Rand and the camel’s asshole he crawled out of. They show up for public service, they know guys like us with cases of Ballantine Ale are out there, waiting for a chance to piss on their faces.

MSNBC is doing some math on voter turnout, suggesting it’s not as heavy as a Nation-Threatening Crisis would suggest.

2012: The Year of the Enthusiasm Gaps.

NUMBERS MOVING — 81% in now, and Mittens has a slight lead over Frothy, with Paul dropping back a bit.

88% now: Santorum up by 45 votes. Yikes.

Ranger Rick, meanwhile, is hanging on to 10% by his fingernails. Single digits will spell doom, I think.

AND RON PAUL IS NOT GOING TO WIN. Third for sure, by MSNBC projection.

What does this mean? How can anyone vote for a twisted freak like Santorum?

@FlyingChainSaw: Fellow twisted freaks, of course.

Brit Hume: Santorum is the story. Thus spaketh Fox News.

Rachel is pumping the Ron Paul Long Game tires. I’m not buying it, but it’d be entertaining, I guess, for him to stick around.

Ed Schultz brings up the whole “Santorum has state reps backing him” thing. Dude — the New Hampshaah House has about 400 members. To get elected, you have to have the ability to not fart during a town hall. Got that mastered, and you can be a state legislator in the Granite State.

Oh, boy, I’m going to take a big swing here — the National Review is going to be totally in the bag for Frothy by sundown tomorrow.

So, does Santorum become the Anti-Romney for the duration? That’s really what the early states are about.

Speaking of which, Jonah Goldberg — yes, I know — has an apt observation (from about an hour ago… news has changed the numbers, but it’s still good) — from The Corner:

“Wow, as of now, it looks like Bachmann will get less than half of the votes in the Iowa Caucus (1,932 according to Fox right now) than she did in the Ames straw poll (4,823).”

(NB: Bachmann now at 5%, or 5,514 total votes.)

Screw the Twitter Hipsters — Santorum jokes are still hilarious.

@nojo: But so many?

@chicago bureau: Big wet sloppy open-mouth kisses, broheim. (noje won’t take man tongue on account of the whole closet – no one knows – whatever deal. I keep telling him, come out, it’s better. You can take off the Birks and face the world. ) But yay. Woo hah.

I have to go to bed. The pack is waiting.

The Chicago thing… how’s that working out for you? Interesting. Like people really live there? And they have like restaurants and stuff?

Thinks: Is this enough to trigger a Trump run? Trump dump. Trump… you know what? you can’t do worse snark cause it’s already obscene.

Birks are like assess-chaps: you don’t know you need them till it’s too late.

@nojo: Well, let’s see. If all else holds, you take Frothy’s 25%, add in Bachmann’s 5% and Perry’s 10%, and that gets you to 40%.

Ron Paul holding at 20% is optimistic. I’d think that anybody ditching him would not in a million years go for Mittens.

That leaves 40% for Mittens (presuming that the Newties break, heavily, to Willard).

There is a definite path for Santorum to win the nomination. Which is frightening. He’s from a swing state, after all. (It is a swing state that he lost in 2006, of course. But still.)

Hey, Ron? You know that “we are all Austrians now” line? Given your newsletter, I’d kind of shy away from that kind of talk if I were you.

Dr. Evol: “I’m waiting for the day when we can say ‘We’re all Austrians now.'”

We’ll wait for him to explain that to Americans.

@Benedick: Yeah, the restaurant thing stuns me, sometimes. For all the fancy schmancy stuff, give me a Chicago Dog any day of the week.

@chicago bureau: Do Newties break for Willard? Does anybody break for Willard? Or is his ceiling just a few points higher than Paul’s?

Will they send in dogs to eat the losers’ carcasses? Now that’d be Must-See Teevee.

You know, Ron Paul can give a great rally speech. I’ll give him that. He’s nuts. But the folksy thing works for him.

@chicago bureau: I was beyond thrilled to vote him out. Now we’ve got Toomey. Oh, wait. I don’t live there anymore…

@nojo: Oh, I think that, deep down, GOPers who vote with their heads look at Santorum and say — “that guy is going to get destroyed.” (Noted: the head-users in the GOP is a minority. But still.)

So they’ll date Frothy, but marry Mitt. (Which is scary in its own way, yes.)

@chicago bureau: Funny, he didn’t mention his opposition to abortion.

Newtie up to the mic now. Fourth place has to be tough to swallow, but he’ll put a bright face on it (seeing as he was absolutely nowhere six months ago).

Is Callista wearing the new Ducks helmet?

“Santorum will be the cover of magazines for weeks to come”. Remind me to steer clear of newsstands.

Fox couldn’t be puffing him harder if they loaded him in a bong.

@Walking Still: Ha!

Okay. Wake me when it’s over.

Is it over?

Mitt up by 13 with 92% in. Thirteen votes.

Newtie giving props to Frothy, but notably dissing Mitt.

Whoa.

@Walking Still: I still have my John Waters Odorama card somewhere.

So it’s down to the out-front sociopath or the closet sociopath … go Santorum!

Buddy Roemer is trending.

Speaking of terrorists, what about that America-hating dude who started fires all over L.A.?

Oh. Right. German. Never mind.

@nojo: She’s scoping the aides to watch out for her replacement.

Seriously, kids — if Newt is going to drop out (which might happen in the mid-range future), he might come over to Santorum’s side.

You take Iowa’s numbers — 25% Frothy, 13% Newtie, 10% Perry and 5% Crazyeyes? That’s 53%. Yikes.

@nojo: He was nominally white. Nuthin’ to see here…

@Walking Still: Thank you. Haven’t thought to test the Rimshot Button for awhile.

The full-on love for Rick Santorum that Gingrich is showing right now is a HUGE tell.

They are in Iowa. Maybe Rick can be Newt’s fourth wife. Hey. It could happen.

Fuck. Now I’m gonna have to break my resolution and watch Saturday’s debate.

You know, the weird thing about this night is that there will be no calls for recounts. There’s no point. The headlines and momentum are the only things that matter. And the headline is — Santorum Is The Anti-Romney.

By that metric, Frothy wins the night.

And here’s Shelly — does she throw in the towel?

Bachmann’s phoning in her concession. As CB observes, she’s toast.

She can’t read her notes fast enough. No applause lines.

@nojo: But she did say that there may be a Michelle in the White House at the end of the day. Given what has happened tonight? I’ll fucking take that.

I’m hearing a throw to Santorum.

Oh, she fights on? Really? With whose money?

This is for show.

So she’s in the “likeness and image” of Reagan? Is there something we’re not being told?

“He was buying doggie sunglasses for our dog Boomer.”

A grown man buying doggie sunglasses. Uh-huh.

@nojo: It’s that durn “complexion” thing.

@chicago bureau: Yeah, she said that. But it was the most passionless concession speech I’ve heard in some time. She wasn’t even trying.

Well, give Willard some credit. He was supposed to tank in Iowa.

@nojo: For someone who flogs Obama for using a teleprompter to lead off by saying that “I have a prepared statement” — that is some big time chutzpah.

@nojo: Fox News sure ain’t.

Meanwhile, in Chicago, Pennsylvania turns blue in Obama Campaign projections.

O’Donnell suggested earlier that Santorum may lose the thumpers on account of being Catholic. Tweety suggests now that he may scoop New Hampshaah because of displaced Catholics fleeing Boston.

My head hurts.

Weekly Standard kicks Dr Evol in the ameros.

Hello, I’m Rick Perry, and I just got smoked by Ron Fucking Paul.

Ranger Rick up to the mic now. Looks happy. Kinda like how Dubya looks happy. Like nothing at all is wrong.

Perry: People from 30+ states come here to caucus.

Uh, sorry Rick, it might have helped to understand the rules.

Well, given the other speeches — having Rick turn over the speech to some dude from Texas is a class move.

In case you were wondering, he’s just as bad when the words are in front of his nose.

Do I hear a drop-out?

A timetable may have been set for Rick Perry’s withdrawal. Woof.

Perry down! Perry down!

@nojo: Think so. He’s going back to Texas.

Proof positive that Bachmann is insane. Rick Perry doubled-up her vote total and still takes the fucking hint.

Down Perry-scope.

So much for all that money the pundits kept telling us about.

God — I have to bring another post on the Deathwatch tonight, don’t I?

(Well, given my absence — I’m tanned, rested and ready.)

BTW: What was Perry’s final campaign meal? Just wondering.

@chicago bureau: It’s a good shtick. Go for it.

So, setting Huntsman aside — and why not? — it’s a three-way race, with Newt acting as picador, or whatever the dude who bloodies the bull is called.

Fox News: It’s a two person race.

Sorry Newtie and Evol, your masters have spoken.

@chicago bureau: Peyote and Quaaludes, unless he’s a functional illiterate.

@Walking Still: Actually, Fox is right. Ron Paul is a spoiler at best, and Newt has announced that he’s in it to bash Mitt.

We’re gonna have a lot of Santorum to spread around this year.

Did Santorum find a black woman to put in the crowd in front of the Fox camera?

Quick Google check: Santorum still scores.

@nojo: And we now see Fox training its guns on Mittens.

Hey, we get to walk Rick Perry to his political death-chamber. Dead man walking!

http://www.stinque.com/2012/01/04/would-you-like-to-make-a-final-statement/

Bill Kristol is still pimping for a late entry. What did Sarah do for (to) him?

C.S. Lewis? Oh, it’s on.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Anti-Unicorn.

While Santorum speaks, the tally switches in favor of Mittens.

@Walking Still: COTD

The new Official GOP Campaign Song.

This speech is Santorum is channeling his inner Johnny Miiiiilllll. Kind of a bizarro world Miiiiilllll, to be honest.

Where’s the Crying Daughter? She’d be five or six years older now.

No, Rick, Walmart simply imports everything from China.

Repeal all the regulations over $100 million. Not with the Senate, you don’t. Honestly.

@nojo: Damn straight.

All that is missing from this is the YEAARRRRRGH!

MSNBC vote count: Santorum up by FIVE VOTES. Funky.

By the way, America, Santorum thinks states should have the right to outlaw contraception. Now that we’re paying attention to him.

@nojo: Every sperm is sacred.

Oh, so there’s the answer for The Button — which is snark free, if I’m honest.

Wow: Two human props.

The closing lines though unintentionally raised the stakes for New Hampshaah. If he doesn’t deliver, it might look like a real rough setback. A misstep, I think.

The rise of the Mittbots.

And here comes Mittens!

Must show energy. Must show energy. Run energy program.

I swear to God: William H. Macy.

@nojo: DING DING DING DING

Santorum: Jobs.

Mitt: Iran.

Okay then. Point Santorum.

@nojo: +1. Half Fargo, half Shameless.

@nojo: The jobs algorithm has kicked in just now.

You know, Mitt going after Frothy in the speeches — the words are virtually identical, but Santorum actually has some emotions. Real ones.

Rick Santorum? Really?

Oh, they are going to lose HUGE this cycle. This party is directionless. I almost feel bad for them, but Mittens is talking so that won’t last long.

That applause-line smirk sickens me.

@chicago bureau: Santorum definitely has Earnest down. I wouldn’t sell him short as an opponent.

I’ll say one thing for the Romney gene: Jaws.

I think Ray Charles is going to come up out of his grave and choke Mittens to death after that attempt to go after the song he made his own.

@chicago bureau: Fox gives the same analysis – trashing Mittens as soulless before he gets off the stage.

You know, Rachel could have just said “Reagan Democrats,” in re Frothy, and saved us all 30 seconds of our lives.

@Walking Still: Tweety called it Spirit vs. Product. For once, Tweety’s right.

Good call by Lawrence O’Donnell: Santorum’s Grandpa reference was an implicit contrast to Mitt’s grandpa, who came to the U.S. from Mexico — where the family had fled to escape the Mormon change of mind about polygamy.

Which means: Santorum’s good. Keep an eye on him.

@nojo: You mean to say that Santorum could actually win this fucking thing?

On that note — good night. Must go to sleep and have nightmares.

Megan is getting testy with the late tally. Don’t these Iowa Republicans know who they work for? They can be replaced.

I can’t pretend to care who carries the last 1% of the Iowa Republicans.

Nighty-night.

@chicago bureau: Why not? The GOP base does not want to settle on Romney, and Santorum’s the last anti-Romney standing.

Remember: Somebody has to win.

However: If Santorum falls, there’s nobody left. And the dirt’s gonna start coming out over the next week.

OMG: Geezer’s coming in for Mittens, per MSNBC.

(Notable — McCain and Santorum were in the same building for a LONG time.)

@chicago bureau: That’s PSYCHOGeezer to you!

Still waiting on the final tally. Which you can do on the Left Coast.

And at ten minutes before the Daily Show, Santorum up by 4.

Still not final.

@nojo: 4 points or 4 votes?

Mitt wins by 8!

@blogenfreude: Votes.

Well done, CB and Noje – I heard the news on the radio this AM, but I got perspective by coming here. Thanks.

Oh and I hereby throw my earlier prediction of Newt! behind The Mix, who will stay competitive at least through Super Tuesday. He lost his seat in PA, this is true – but that was 2006 before the T in Pennsyltucky had fully transitioned from rabbit ears to tinfoil hat.

I found it highly informative to compare these two maps:

http://core.talkingpointsmemo.com/election/results/iowa-caucuses-r?ref=fpblg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Iowa_overview.jpg

The takeaway is pretty clear: Mittens won with the mildly urbanized who still had a particle of sanity, and Ol’ Frothy Mix took the rurals who weren’t paranoid enough to vote for Paul…