Hit Somebody!

I dunno why the reporters are talking about Mitten’s “existential strategery” like it’s something new – it’s the same “them lazy n-words are gonna take over” nonsense that the GOP has been pushing since the ’60s, now with the added push of the racial demographic shift. Shame on TPM for not bringing that up…

UPDATE: SF Lefty gives us pictures of the Oregon Ducks’ uniforms. Not to be missed.

a major fashion don’t from (oh, obviously) Eugene

The Ducks are wearing socks with their cleated Birks?

TJ/ For “My Little Pony” lovers via NYT:

Correction: December 30, 2011

An article on Monday about Jack Robison and Kirsten Lindsmith, two college students with Asperger syndrome who are navigating the perils of an intimate relationship, misidentified the character from the animated children’s TV show “My Little Pony” that Ms. Lindsmith said she visualized to cheer herself up. It is Twilight Sparkle, the nerdy intellectual, not Fluttershy, the kind animal lover.

@chicago bureau: Folks have to check out the whole photo gallery of the Fighting Nojos’ ensemble for the Rose Bowl to get the true “Darth Vader Meets Black Swan” effect (description of a columnist in The Oregonian). Mr. SFL is mesmerized by this undershirt, I was mesmerized by the chest and abs on the guy.

What’s the word on the Stanford Band being allowed to march today?

@SanFranLefty: I’m gonna bet that the halftime show will be some American Idol reject. I mean, last year at the Orange Bowl, the Goo Goo Dolls played. Really.

@SanFranLefty: Fuck allowed. Better if explicitly forbidden. Then the band can arrive as a criminal conspiracy and tear into something savage and outrageous.

@FlyingChainSaw: @chicago bureau: The band managed to get to PHX, unclear if they will be performing during the game.

@SanFranLefty: They should do “Okie From Muskogee” and dig up Jerry Garcia to sing it.

@Dodgerblue: Or the band can reenact the Dust Bowl migration from OK to CA.

@SanFranLefty: As Woody said, you need that Do Re Mi.

@Dodgerblue: Or was that Leadbelly?

Five minutes into the game and each team has a touchdown. Wisconsin v. Nojoes could be a slugfest.

@Walking Still: I’m afraid the glare and reflection off the Ducks’ helmets might make the pilot of the stealth fighter crash into the Hollywood sign.

@SanFranLefty: Or forget how to defend the run.

@SanFranLefty: As long as the cameras are running to include it in the next Spielberg epic.

@Dodgerblue: Or the pass (not that the Badgers are doing any better).

@SanFranLefty: Oregon to punt. The crowd is stunned (not very inspired punt coverage).

@SanFranLefty: Those helmets could support a solar power array.

What’s the won-loss record for the Ducks when they debut a new version of the über-uniform? I suspect it’s not that great.

@matador1015: They debut a new version every week. Brent Musberger drives me batty because (a) he can’t pronounce “Oregon” properly, and (b) his obsession with how warm it is in Pasadena. Yes, it’s 80 degrees, shut up already.

Both teams are averaging more than one point a minute.

If Wisconsin loses, is it grounds for impeaching/recalling Scott Walker?

Jesus. I’ve played in drunken Superbowl halftime games with better defense. Do we get free chalupas if the total score is over 100?

Tight Three-Man Race Gets Even Tighter

Yep, I suspect *most* “tight three-man races” wind up involving santorum… ;)

@Dodgerblue: I’m currently presiding over a gym full of fourth grade girls playing what they think is basketball. A few of them would make good cornerbacks.

Did I say 2011 was draining? Slept through most of the Winter Classic and got up at halftime of the Rose Bowl, feeling as if I had been transported into an alternate universe where defense in football games is considered gauche.

@Nabisco: Ask them if they like Donald Duck. U of O needs some help.

@Nabisco: I coached my daughters’ youth basketball teams. We had a kid once whose idea of playing defense was to smack the girl on offense into the boards. The refs had a couple of talks with me. Very sweet kid, but a tough customer on the court. She’s probably a deputy district attorney somewhere now.

@SanFranLefty: Nah. There’s a whole quarter to go. I’m going to the gym, catch up to you during Tree v. Cowboys.

@SanFranLefty: Are they choking? Eugene is a much nicer place when they choke.

Converting on 4th and 6. Not too shabby for the Quackers.

@Walking Still: Chip Kelly has a big ol’ pair of brass balls. I love it when he does shit like that.

@nojo: The Ducks are leading by 7 with 16 seconds left. Go SFLs

Ducks win!

Oh, wow. Wisconsin. Wow.

What a way to lose.

@chicago bureau: Yeah, they sure could have used a timeout in the last minute of the game.

I had no idea that the Ducks hadn’t won the Rose Bowl since 1917. That’s Cubs-like levels of being cursed.

Now the Tree has to bring it for Pac-10 12!

Well, that’s one way to do it. Miss a field goal, then pick off a pass. Tricky, Stanford.

@chicago bureau: Total smarty-pants move.

@chicago bureau: Oklahoma State’s defense came to play.

Great. Now I have to feign excitement when all the Eugene clients email tomorrow.

Stephan Taylor for 2012 Heisman Runner-up.

Or Ty Montgomery. Made the Pokes’ secondary look foolish. BOOM.

The golden arm of Andrew Luck strikes again!

@nojo: You still have any of those mini-hands from the Sandy Eggo game a few years back?

@SanFranLefty: I don’t think I kept the one in the photo. And anything else relevant is gathering dust in a drawer at the Ancestral Home.

@Dodgerblue: You gotta love The Tree, given they have an offensive linesman with the last name of Schwartzstein.

Uh-oh. Pokes 14:14 Tree. This can go pear-shaped in a hurry.

@chicago bureau: Perhaps you heard me screaming “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK” from 1500 miles to the west?

@SanFranLefty: The trees in the East Bay bent over double, and the dogs started howling. I figured you had something to do with it.

Order has been restored to the universe.

I feel like the Rose Bowl back and forth is starting all over again. Oy! The stress! Half time…pray that ESPN will show the marching band shows.

ADD: The 12 year old looking Okie State QB is married? WTF, shouldn’t he be at BYU?

I can see the Tree band behind the loser halftime talking heads. Hope the band gets its moment in the sun.

Anybody make out what the Stanford Band was spelling out just then?

They’re spelling something, but I can’t decipher. “YESSIR” possibly.

My God — over on twitter, the OK State fans are positively livid at the LSJUMB.

Love it. My boys are pissing off Oklahomans. Wonderful.

@chicago bureau: What did they do, reenact the Trail of Tears?

Tree for the score.

Tree for the lead with my favorite baby-faced Zen Coach Shaw looking as calm as ever.

@CB: what did the LSJUMB do to piss off the Okies?

Why do you do a handoff on the 3 yard line? Throw the fucking ball, Luck! Gaaaaaaahhh!

Stanford defense is putting up a fight on the goal line.

Stop those motherfucking Okie Pokies!

@SFL: no clue. I’d know if the Worldwide Leader had the stones to show them.

Meanwhile: Stanford may get away with one here. 4th down and goal pending.

Well, it was three free points, but good on Stanford’s D to hold them to just that.

7 point lead for the Tree at the beginning of the 4th quarter. I can’t relax until there’s a 10 or 14 point margin, Mr SFL reminds me the Dux never had that luxury and to chill out. I’m now washing dishes to channel nervous energy. Win win in this household.

@SanFranLefty: I’m back for the 4th quarter.

Blackmon can’t get that free.

Am I creepy for thinking Coby Fleener is hawt when I have friends whose kids are his age?

@SanFranLefty: If so, then my fondness for NCAA Women’s Volleyball should get me locked up.

Great 3rd and 14 conversion.

@SanFranLefty: No. But, hot or not, they gotta score here.

Lefty is on edge. I can tell because I just beat her in Words, a rare event.

Griff Fucking Whalen. Two huge 3rd down conversions.

That is blue collar football from the Tree. They earned that TD.

I’ve got the Tree for the win.

Pacing I’m pacing!! 38-38 w 52 seconds left

I’m running in place. Gaaaah!

3 sec on the clock, for the win!

Will they try to freeze the kicker?

@Walking Still: Yup.

@Walking Still: Just did. Kid looks like he’s 12.

Oh shit.

Overtime it is.

The stream of curse words floating out over Lake Michigan might interfere with late flights landing at O’Hare.

Make that 38-38. Kicker from Texas. Go. Nooooooooooooooo!! Why am I not the kicker for the Tree??? Stanford women won the NCAA soccer championship – why is their striker not taking the 3s?
Fuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkk!!

That Rose Bowl game was like one long highlight reel. I heard most of it on the radio driving back and forth to the ski area to get Son of RML at the end of the day.

I have to say that I had a bad feeling when I heard the words “redshirt freshman” . . .

Pacing and cursing, cursing and pacing.

Mama will need a big fucking Ambien tonight. At least Brent Musberger isn’t doing play by play

That kicker should be shot.

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!

Poor kid.

My condolences to SFL and Chicago Bureau.

Silent Creative Partner and I watched the fourth quarter-plus at the bar. You poor, poor fools.

I had to root for OK State, seeing as how last night’s version of the Cowboys weren’t playing for the win.

Was there a touchdown?

@matador1015: +1

My son thinks the Illuminati is controlling the outcome of all these close games. I reminded him that it’s actually Buffalo Wild Wings.

@redmanlaw: Jim Rome: “Worst missed field goal ever . . . what a tough way for (Luck) to end a storied career.”

@redmanlaw: Uh, Luck isn’t the kicker, Jim.

@Dodgerblue: What Romie was saying is that the kicker’s failure to execute tarnished the end of Luck’s college career. I’m sure his forthcoming NFL contract will take some of the sting away, even under the new rookie salary caps.

@redmanlaw: Luck looked great. I don’t think the final score hurt his NFL potential at all.

@Dodgerblue: Until yesterday I had not really sat down to watch a college game in a while. I am just amazed at some of the plays I saw in the Rose Bowl and the Fiesta Bowl. Going for it on 4th and 6 or more and getting it? Amazing, especially the speed of the game and the accuracy of the passers. It was like watching the NFL Network’s Red Zone coverage. Too bad about Stanford. I hate giving Red Amerika anything to cheer about.

@redmanlaw: Commentary at the bar…

Missed kick #1: That dude’s not getting laid tonight.

Missed kick #2: That dude’s not getting laid this month.

@nojo: he and the georgia bulldawg kicker can celebrate common celibacy. UGA woulda looked like the favorite for the coveted #2 pre-season ranking behind bama/LSU with a decent kicker. that might still happen though. UGA plays a weak schedule next year and if they go undefeated except for the repeat national title warmup (aka sec championship) should play bama/LSU for the national title again locking out the rest of the nation. i can’t figure out why the sec dominance of recent years and espn sucking up to the SEC at every possible opportunity has not resulted in a playoff system. all this from an SEC insider. LSU’s defensive co-ordinator is Johnny Chavis, better known as the Chief here on Rocky Top. he started as a defensive lineman here in the 70’s after walking on and earning a scholarship. he was then and still is 5′-8″ max. started in the sec by god. this year he won the frank broyles award for best assistant coach. we fired him and phil fulmer for the likes of lane kiffin and derek dooley and now pay dearly for it. check him out monday night.

NFL. Bill Polian’s firing at Indy must surely mean Peyton Manning is out too. I’d like to see him land in Miami and bring Reggie Wayne with him. Obviously, Luck goes to Indy with the first pick. Is he the next David Carr? Any Charger fans out there should beware of Jeff Fisher. He was consistently mediocre here in Nashville and rode McNairs force of will to the St Louis one yard line the only time he rose above mediocrity. SD shoulda never fired Marty Schottenhiemer. Look what two ex chargers, Brees and Sproles did in New Orleans this year.

@jwmcsame: The Steeler’s Ryan Clark could star in a remake of “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead.”

@redmanlaw: awesome movie that is on the direct tv movie channels now. how bout when critical bill ( treat williams) tells the guy to take that bass out of his voice and then proceeds to treble-ize him? how bout the malt shop scene melee when andy garcia has to apologize to the malt shop owner, aptly named malt? how bout critical bill working out in the funeral home with the cadavers?