Hello, New York!

Haha! Woke up this morning to find that plans have drastically changed. I’m on a train to PA avec mes trois chats. Ma tante, sa soeur et son fuck buddy sont en route d’Harrisburg. Need. More. Drugs.

@JNOV: Bien sûr! Bonne chance. Méfier de Wilkes-Barre! C’est l’asshole de PA.

Heh. Dude. I can’t wait to get beer. Maybe liquor. Can’t wait. Cats are either tired of howling on the train or are dead. I am afraid to look.

@JNOV: The hubby suggested I put plywood over the windows. I’m like, Dude. Chillax.

So I suppose this afternoon I shall lay in enough tuna, Pillsbury crescent rolls, and vodka to survive. Guy interviewed on MSNBC said this was a “hurricane made for TV”, and they do seem somewhat gleeful to have this story during what’s normally a slow news week.

One serious thing I did – a friend who went through Katrina talked me into buying one of those Red Cross crank radios. It arrives today.

What America needs is a Cannibal Anarchy Cookbook. We can sell them as a set with the Stinque Zombie Bible.

@blogenfreude: How you gonna bake them rolls if the power’s out? Just asking.

@FlyingChainSaw: Mrs RML doesn’t want me to shoot doves anymore because “they’re the LORD’s bird.” The breasts of the LORD’s bird are tasty when wrapped in bacon and grilled, btw.

You people are really starting to freak me out with this hurricane talk. Do I have enough gin? I hope so.

Went to the library and got a third backup book just in case the electricity goes out. I’ve got my headlamp ready.

Not looking forward to taking Lucy out for a poop in 100 MPH winds though.

@FlyingChainSaw: What America needs is a Cannibal Anarchy Cookbook.

Dude. I don’t have time. Stop torturing me with your brilliance.

@JNOV: Ami Du Foutrer, perhaps? Anyone with better French than I have a suggestion?

@nojo:

If we all just turned in 3 Recipes each….

@Benedick HRH KFC: It would make a better story for the cocktail hour, with the plywood and the banging and much fearful sighing as the wind blew…

@Tommmcatt :

Place brain burritos in the microwave and cook on HIGH for three and a half minutes.

There’s one.

@redmanlaw: gas oven

So, I’ve been evacuated and shit. Cats are alive and well. I’ve had a beer. I’m about to have another. Having a lot of fun catching up with my friend and entertaining her kids. Amazing that I’m still not smoking.

Anyone hear from baked?

@JNOV: Well done.

Ulster County is out of D cells. There are lines at gas stations and a run on Tito’s vodka. Transportation to the city is cancelled tomorrow. And to add insult to injury, Pataki has announced that he’s not announcing. I know. His fan is deeply disappointed. With Pawlenty gone and now Pataki who is there left to believe in?

@redmanlaw: You do know that is the first step towards full-blown vegetarianism? If there is a reason not to eat one animal then there’s no reason to eat any. Just a heads-up.

@redmanlaw: The Lord made the bird as sustenance for other, bigger, more toothy animals, vegetarianism notwithstanding.

@¡Andrew!: Pour hot blood over scavenged bowl of Captain Crunch. Eat before coagulation.

Two.

@Benedick HRH KFC: Out of D cells?? My god, the humanity. That, along with these shockingly graphic photos of quake damage from earlier this week, is almost more than I can take. You and yours are in my thoughts/prayers.

Bloomberg has ordered mandatory evacuations in some areas.

Wait. WTF is all this gluten free crap?

@flippin eck: Whoever came up with the lawnchair shot that Benedick found makes me insanely jealous.

You people have no hearts.

@Benedick HRH KFC: Darling! Mistake me not, I am very concerned about this. Why do you think I’m trolling the site for updates every 15 minutes?

href=”#comment-118786″>blogenfreude: Slayer orders Mandatory Suicide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a444oGYCWmY@<a

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: I have made a totes awesum post tying upcoming devastation to musical theatre but noje is too busy feeding lattes to his ‘partner’ (what’s that about?). So HuffPost will scoop us. And you out there on the west coast (how do you stand it?) will remain uninformed.

@Benedick HRH KFC: One Day More? Singing in the Rain? Sit Down, You’re Rockin the Boat? They Call the Wind Maria? Can’t wait to see it!

@flippin eck: Add a folk breakout with “Shelter From the Storm.”

@Benedick HRH KFC: Is there something I’m supposed to publish? Nobody tells me anything.

ADD: Ah. My email sucks today.

@JNOV: Saw an update on FB this morning, with a cute pic of puppeh being dried in a towel. Ankle deep water (I assume inside), trees down, pool house collapsed, garden destroyed (no mention if any crops were saved), but humans and animals OK. Intermittent internet and power.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Captain Crunch? Ugh!

@lynnlightfoot: I always ditched the Captain and kept the Crunchberries.

@nojo: This is easy. And will get you good press, an interview on the Food Channel and a support from the apocalyptic liturgy crowd. You can crowd source the actual recipes. I’ll write the introductory chapter about crop failure from weather change and interruption of supply chains for petroleum-based fertilizers, etc and the inevitability of cannibalism. Should get you some attention from Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, too. This is a monster meme waiting to be exploited.

Cannibal Anarchy Cook book comes with free set of Stinque steak knives and rib cutters!!

@Benedick HRH KFC: This Stinque/Huffpo rivalry must end! The viciousness! The ruined careers!

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: HuffPO MY Ass.

@CheapBoy: That’s right – the Ginsu Steak Knives angle. Maybe we can come up with a solar charged kitchen saw, too. Ecofriendly and practical.