The Pundits Parse the Meanings.

The Results We’ve All Been Waiting For:

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.): 4,823 votes!
U.S. Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas): 4,671 votes
Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty: 2,293 votes
Former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum (R-Pa.): 1,657 votes
Former Godfather’s Pizza CEO Herman Cain: 1,456 votes
Texas Governor Rick Perry: 718 votes
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney: 567 votes
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich: 385 votes
Former Utah governor Jon Huntsman: 69 votes
U.S. Rep Thad McCotter (R-Mich. and Stinque fave): 35 votes

Total votes cast: 16,674!

Clearly this is a Very Important Vote and Michele Bachmann’s overwhelming win – by 152 votes – is historic.

However, at $30 per ~~vote~~ ticket the event seems to have grossed $500,220. By comparison the total votes of the Iowa Straw Poll represent approximately one playing week of Spiderman: The Musical: Turn Off the Dark: WTF? at the Foxwoods Theatre, seating capacity of 1,932, which grossed this week $1.9M.

From which I deduce that crappy musicals are more profitable than crappy politics; Bachmann is a winner; Paul is a loser; Romney is cheap; and Jon Huntsman should know better.

Benedick
12:16 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011
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12 Comments

¡Andrew!

12:52 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

Having a candidate whose eyes move in opposite directions while the voices in her head are screaming at each other can only be an asset for the GOP.

JNOV

12:53 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

I love it when you link to (now post!) this video. Now to read what you wrote and find other interpretations of the dance. Ska-wee.

nojo

12:59 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

@JNOV: It was supposed to be a posted video originally, but we had some Technical Difficulties under the hood.

mellbell

1:06 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

Do any of the other Catholics (lapsed or otherwise) recognize that tune? I could swear it’s from a hymn.

@nojo: I’m thinking maybe 6+ mos ago before Bene was posting?

1:07 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

@mellbell: greensleeves adapted to what child is this?

ADD: Some protestants know it, too.

What child is this who laid to rest
on Mary’s lap is sleeping?
Whom angels keep
Or shepherds or some shit
something about bleating lambs

This! This is Christ the King
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing
Haste! Haste to bring him laude
The Babe, the Son of Mary

(That’s all I remember — I know none of the Greensleeves lyrics)

1:12 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

@JNOV: Good call. I was thinking it was one of the more modern, post-Vatican II Catholic hymns, which I tend to like despite their general cheesiness.

Benedick HRH KFC

2:19 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

@JNOV: I thought I’d linked to this before but it bears repeating . Greensleeves is traditionally credited to Henry VIII, every British child knows it.

In the clip I’m imaging the dance performed by George Will, David Brooks, and Pat Buchanan.

ManchuCandidate

2:57 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

Lots of Randy Travis fans in Iowa. Free tickets to a Randy Travis show to anyone who voted for Bachmman Ticketmaster Overdrive.

karen marie has her eyes tight shut

4:08 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

@Benedick HRH KFC: Yes, but Henry VIII was dead 33 years when it was first published.

Walking Still

4:14 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011

@mellbell: The only modern Catholic hymn I favor is the Vatican Rag:

Bow your heads in deep respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

4:47 pm • Monday • August 15, 2011