We Need a Nickname, Stat

“Rick Perry intends to use a speech in South Carolina on Saturday to make clear that he’s running for president, POLITICO has learned. According to two sources familiar with the plan, the Texas governor will remove any doubt about his White House intentions during his appearance at a RedState conference in Charleston.”

33 comments:

5:22 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Speaking of ugh, I tried to watch a memorial of sorts to one of the SEALs killed in that chopper crash this weekend (Dear Jayzus, why’d you have to go and kill such a hawt piece of ass and yes I’m already going to H-E-L-L for even thinking that at a time like this) and the guy’s father just wandered into some long, weird, rambling tirade about how there are sheep and wolves and sheep dogs in the world, and the SEALs are the sheep dogs (Um, mixed metaphor sez whut?) and that maybe some sheep in high places said some things that got the chopper all blowed up (oh for fux sake, dude, have the ballz to just come out and say that Obamar aimed the rocket launcher himself), and it was just so nonsensical and mentally exhausting trying to keep up with the stream-of-consciousness-style, paranoid, reich-wing fantasy drooling outta this guy’s dumFux Nooz-fried brain that I just had to turn it off. Whatta kuntree!

5:25 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Isn’t Perry already known around these parts as Governor Goodhair?

5:33 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Bush IV: Even Lazier and Stupider Somehow

5:38 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

The Texas governor will remove any doubt about his White House intentions along with the pre-frontal cortices of his slack-jawed, glassy-eyed, mouth-breathing supplicants.

5:46 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

RedState

5:47 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@¡Andrew!: NPR has been bitching about how “stoic” all the relatives and neighbors of the SEALs are, like those grieving a loss have some obligation to provide “grief porn” for the rest of the country. Disgusting.

5:49 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@IanJ: He is, but I don’t really like it. Ranger Rick, perhaps?

5:57 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Well, the leading hits on “Rick Perry rumor” searches turn up a persistent “I’m not gay” theme. Maybe his nickname has something to with chaps (assless).

Add: Maybe it could be something to do with how it’s been far too long without a LGBT-friendly person in the White House. Of course, he’s also doing pro-de-gayification stuff, so that wouldn’t have any basis in, you know, truth.

6:16 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@IanJ: Rick NotAFairy?

6:37 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@¡Andrew!:
Having been on the periphery of military culture, I can agree with the dad’s sentiment on sheep (normal people) wolves (terrorists, internal enemies, Koch Brothers etc) and sheep dogs … but blaming Obamar for SEALs deaths? That’s the grief and inner asshole (racism?) talking. My sympathies for the man’s loss, but he should shut the fuck up. One other thing you should remember, elite combat units are incredibly conservative in makeup and leadership. Always have been. Liebruls would be eaten alive there.

@Mistress Cynica:
I feel the same way when Canada City soldiers die and many want to use death as an excuse to be disagreeable with who they might disagree with.

6:43 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@ManchuCandidate: I was at a restaurant recently in Nova Scotia, near the Edison estate, that had on its outer wall a list of the names of all the Canadian military personnel who had been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, each marked with a red maple leaf. A little girl walked up, saw it, and asked her Mom what it was. Mom distracted her onto another subject but the kid kept coming back to the display.

7:00 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@Dodgerblue:
Should only be Afghanistan unless the list said so as we only are supposed to be Afghanistan as our former PM Jean Crouton wisely kept us out of Iraqinam.

I can understand why the mom didn’t want to tell the girl, but how are children going to face the universe without some understanding of how important/fatal the decisions we make today will affect our future.

7:28 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@ManchuCandidate: I could have been wrong about that — what struck me was how many red maple leaves were on the wall.

7:38 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@ManchuCandidate: I dunno, Pat Tillman seemed to do okay. Well, ’till he got fragged beyond all recognition.

I’ve never really been able to relate to jingoism, and there’s a fine line between patriotism and nationalism in an extreme right-wing country like the US. Dead SEAL’s papa made it clear that our civilization is at war with Islam (how exactly does one win a war against a religious ideology?) I guess it’s just sad that people are so foolish and easily duped.

7:47 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Fabulist.

7:49 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@Dodgerblue:
Unfortunately lots as the Canada City troops were sent to the wild southern areas around Kandahar where the fiercest fighting in Afghanistan is.

The first four were thanks to a yahoo US American F-16 pilot who decided to play target practice on a bunch of Canada City soldiers who were conducting a night time fire exercise despite the fact said pilot was informed that there were friendlies down there. This unfortunate event started the Canada City press tradition of fetishizing dead soldiers as at the same time Long Islanders of NY State booed the Canada City anthem when they were locked in a nasty playoff series with the Toronto Maple Loafs (oh so long ago). Lots of folks shrieked about honoring the “dead.” Extra points because of the US America “friendly” fire incident.

7:51 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@¡Andrew!:
I’m not a big flag waver myself. I was honored to carry the flag as a Boy Scout during Remembrance Day ceremonies but that’s as far as I’ll go.

8:00 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Princess.

8:07 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Princess Fabulist

9:16 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Gotta be Governor Good Hair. Every time you use that nickname, Molly Ivins lets out her wonderful booming laugh in liberal heaven.

And besides, that nickname drives him batshit crazy, even more than Molly’s nickname of “Shrub” pissed off W.

Per that Houston Chronicle article, Molly also called him Coiffure. I can hear the Texas drawl spitting out that French word. Oh, and this line from a poli sci professor:

“With Perry, what you have is a fellow who does have hair and looks,” Schier said. “He doesn’t really have any national record to speak of, and the real question is, ‘How would he travel outside of Texas?’ ”

9:41 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

Our KM flagged this piece on the Book of Faces, and it bears sharing:

Some families camped out for hours to gain admittance into Houston’s first-ever, citywide back-to-school event at George R. Brown Convention Center, where free backpacks, school supplies, uniforms, haircut vouchers, immunizations, and fresh produce were provided.

Others were turned away.

“It was getting beyond capacity,” [Houstan Independent School District] spokesman Jason Spencer said. “If nothing else, it shows the need.”

[snip]

The event planners, who had expected around 25,000 children to attend along with their parents, found themselves overwhelmed with nearly four times that number, forcing police to close the doors around 10 a.m., two hours earlier than expected. Every supply was distributed, every immunization given out, and yet still Texans came up empty-handed.

Jesus wept.

9:55 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@SanFranLefty: That’s over 4x the number of people praying for rain at Reliant Stadium. Fuckers could have been making themselves useful down.

9:58 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@IanJ: “Chapstick Rick”? Yup, that’s what I’m going to call him – Chapstick.

10:40 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@¡Andrew!: Indeed.

TJ/ Made the leap to Google+ (still butthurt over Diaspora*). I’m digging the soycurls.

10:48 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@SanFranLefty: Oh if only Molly was here. I miss her so much.

Goobner Rick will not announce in South Carolina. He will announce he is announcing, but THE announcement will be in front of the Texas Capital.

11:01 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@texrednface: I guess the Alamo, while iconic and beautiful, isn’t the best place for el güero to announce he’s going to be a winner against the brown man.

11:49 pm • Monday • August 8, 2011

@SanFranLefty: @texrednface: I vote for Hippie Hollow, where the Googlez tell me he goes for monthly Chapstick ™ sessions.

ADD: 5-0 Buccos. Are the Lefties just playing possum, or is this going to snap an 0-10 streak?

12:56 am • Tuesday • August 9, 2011

@Nabisco: Well fuck it, if he’s going to announce at Hippie Hollow, he might as well announce outside the Chain Drive wearing a nice pair of calfskin assless chaps.

Oh, and back to beisbol, if anyone will snap the ‘Beeskos losing streak, it will be the Bad News Giants. Torture. Torture. Torture. That was the magic word last season for my guys in orange and black, and apparently it will be this season, too. Look for me tomorrow night sitting in the bleacher section with a wool cap on my head, passing out from a contact high from the Deadheads around me.

1:32 am • Tuesday • August 9, 2011

@ManchuCandidate: Having grown up with Vietnam — and three assassinations before I was ten — it’s foreign to me how you could keep such things from kids.

6:43 am • Tuesday • August 9, 2011

Pontiff Perry?

11:40 am • Tuesday • August 9, 2011

@baked: Or Prick Perry. I like alliteration.

11:42 am • Tuesday • August 9, 2011

President.

7:11 pm • Wednesday • August 17, 2011

@nojo: From your lips to Paul Begala’s ears:

I first met Rick Perry in 1985. He was a Democratic freshman state rep, straight off the ranch in Haskell, Texas. He wore his jeans so tight, and, umm, adjusted himself so often that my fellow young legislative aides and I used to call him Crotch.

Add a comment