Rick Perry’s Santorum Problem

So we’re catching up with Conan last night — the TV show, not the bewildering movie remake — and he drops a joke about Rick Perry fending off gay rumors. This is news to us, because we’ve never heard of any Rick Perry gay rumors. (Is he seceding from heterosexuality?) So we rev up the StinquePad, start typing Rick Perry’s name into Google…

…and before we can get to “gay”, before we can even get to g, we get this.

What’s up? Is another wingnut getting rickrolled?

Near as we can figure, Rick Perry’s Rainbow Condition began, as all things do, with a Politico story this week:

If Texas Gov. Rick Perry decides to run for president, his team is more than prepared for a re-airing of unsubstantiated rumors, circulated on and off for years in the Lone Star State, about his personal life.

The crusted-over rumors were in the ether among some attendees at a dinner hosted last week by the Manhattan County GOP, where Perry gave the keynote speech. The rumors, which have never been proven despite repeated review by media outlets, were addressed by the governor himself in a lengthy 2004 American-Statesman story that is sure to see new life if he runs.

The claims, which had made the rounds for months by the time the story was written, included rumors that Perry and his wife Anita had split, and that the governor was gay.

This is classic Politico: “crusted-over rumors in the ether among some attendees” is all the sourcing you get for this story, which could mean that somebody revived an old joke at a back table. But that’s all you need to spark a Google trend and wind up the pawn of a late-night comedian. By comparison, Anthony Weiner is an overachiever.

The best part? To cover its tracks, Politico blames the story on Democrats:

The state Democratic Party in Texas seized on the rumors seven years ago…

This is sort of true — for 2004. (The state party chairman riffed on the subject at a rally while buying time for — wait for it — John Edwards to show up. By then, the rumors were common knowledge.) But the only reason it’s showing up now is loose talk at a Republican dinnertable and a Politco reporter searching for a Drudge-baiting headline. The Streisand Effect, this ain’t.

If you go back to that March 2004 story, you’ll see that it’s a tale of gossip in the Internet Age: a rumor that everybody knows about but nobody can confirm, which Perry himself finally decided to forcefully deny after weeks of wishing for it to go away. The Smoking Gerbil was never found, and the subject was forgotten. Until this week.

But there is a lesson in it, courtesy of the Totally Not Gay Guv himself:

“What’s wrong is they have been a Web site that has denigrated the political process, in my opinion, to a great degree,” he said. “If the future of politics is this, the future is dismal and dim for Texas, for America, for the political process.”

Perry was referring to a website run by college Democrats that reported the rumors — as rumors — without claiming their authenticity. But seven years on, we can think of any number of websites that have denigrated the political process to a great degree.

Starting with Politico.

16 Comments

I think his “Fuck you US America, I got mine and I’m leaving” sucky baby attitude will sink him even among GOPers rather than questioning his sexuality.

OT/

Up here in Canada City, there was a recent investigative report on the clusterfuck of the 2010 G20 riots caused by Supreme Overlord PM Fatty’s insistence in putting the conference in Toronto.

Got into a brief argument about the G20 rioters with my housemate. I made the (probably heartless) comment that my sympathies are to those folks who lived there and were simply caught in the middle while attempting to get about their lives and peaceful protesters who were brutally beaten by thug cops but not one bit for the gawkers/rubberneckers who went down there to watch as entertainment (from what I heard there were quite a few.)

He got all red faced and huffy and stated that “No one should be afraid. It’s a free country.” He’s impossible to reason with when he does that. I rolled my eyes, listened to him breathe heavily for a few minutes and left.

Many times I get all combative, but I just thought to myself what’s the point. I’ve seen two riots up close and personal in 1985 when I was visiting South Korea. It’s not something one wants to watch as entertainment. Even the faint odor of tear gas is nothing pleasant. Been in the middle of a couple of situations that could have been riots had not cooler heads prevailed (in Kingston, Ontario of all places.)

I actually found it extremely naive of him. A riot is mostly non-lethal combat where people are amped up on adrenaline (especially cops) and things can get out of hand. Besides like the utterly sensitive and petty PM Chunky is going to give a crap about something quaint as “Free Speech.”

I guess my point is, I don’t understand why people insist on gawking at very dangerous situations. Do they think that adrenaline amped up and judgment impaired cops are going tell the difference between a spectator (sigh) and someone they want to bash?

I say this as someone who wasted a lot of his 20s reading up on close quarter combat situations and studying the psychology of humans under stress.

@ManchuCandidate: I guess my point is, I don’t understand why people insist on gawking at very dangerous situations.

I do. I was one, once. In my 20s, a Banana Republic, a mob, some tanks, and some tear gas. I even saw a friggin USofA-sold Huey overhead with La Guardia aiming from the open door. I looked at my buddy, then at the crowd (which was decidedly browner, but most importantly, more vested) and said “What the hay-ell are we doing here?”

It was awesome, but I was lucky. And also, as you correctly pointed out, really naive.

The Perry is gay rumors may have come as pay back for the “Ann Richards is a lesbian and hangs out with coke heads” rumors started by Karl Rove back in ’94 when Bush was running as goobner.

@texrednface: I remember hearing the “Rick Perry is gay” rumors starting around 1994 back when he was Ag Commissioner, so I don’t put it past ole’ Karl Rove as being the originator of the rumors in trying to smear a rival to Shrub.

For RML, re: your question on the previous post about what is the story: I have a couple of ghey friends in Austin who swear that Rick would cruise some of the leather bars in the early ’90s. The most recent chisme was that Anita walked in on Rick going at it with a young hot studly aide who was easy on the eyes but who had no apparent work skills and that she had separated from him and met with a divorce lawyer, but then he and his bidness buddies bribed her in to coming back.

My take – given how Newt has imploded with the Tiffany’s line of credit story – once anybody digs in – or sticks a shovel in – the pile of smoking crap that is his corrupt back room deals and sweetheart kickbacks – that will be the final nail in Ricky’s coffin.

/from my lips to the FSM’s ear….

@SanFranLefty:This prayer rally with these particular hate groups is an awful and extreme attempt to quell these rumors.

@texrednface: have you been to the alamo draft house or seen their ad/blurb/promo with ann richards?

@texrednface: they’ll obviously be praying for god to put an end to all that is gay. what if they pray too hard and all of a sudden…POOF!…perry ups and disappears?

@jwmcsame: I don’t get down there to that other part of the state much. I can’t afford to travel very far from my home located in the armpit of Texas(akaDallas).
Perry has been gay baiting for years, what for, to shore up his real man creds?
@SanFranLefty: A friend just reminded me Kay Baily Hutchison’s campaign for governor website was riddled with hidden ‘Perry is Gay’ phrases. They claim their site was hacked.

@jwmcsame: I LOVE that ad. I was saying here on the thread with the video of their hilarious new “no texting” ad that it’s the only place I’ve seen a movie in a theater in the past few years – and I only get to Texas once a year at best.

@texrednface: Yes, the Kay Baby website was heeelarious. Didn’t Kinky Friedman do an ad or something that implied Guvnah Good Hair was a Friend of Dorothy?

You don’t remember hearing that rumor, nojo? We discussed it here when Kay Bailey used her website to direct “rick perry is gay” searches.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I do see some chatter here back in September 2009 — including a comment of mine I now vaguely remember — but it looks like I regarded that more as a clever website SEO trick.

@nojo: Yep. That’s the thread I was thinking of. Y’know, someone really should come up with a definitive list of closeted politicians. It’s easier to do with closeted actors – just ask if they’re Scientologists. But not all Republicans are gay; some are just Mormons.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment