If You Can Read This, You’re Damned

While we wait for Heaven’s Hoover to vacuum the faithful from our mortal coil — 6 p.m. local time, we’re promised — please enjoy this Naughty Trick you can perform with a child’s toy. Hey, if you’re gonna spend eternity in Hades, might as well make it worth your while.

[via Nerdist]

I’m shocked that a RW fundamentalist kook is wrong.

For New Yorkers, the mayor is suspending alternate side parking for rapture.

After you finish this sequence, you can lift the receiver and Satan is on the line, waiting for your report.

This rapture thing- why aren’t there zombies? You’d think there would be a couple.

Guess this means that I still have to take that Economics final. Dammitall!

At this point, shouldn’t the South Pacific be boiling or something?

No news yet from the Camping Camp. This is the part I’m really interested in.

What no “oops, I did it again? Sorry, I can’t add? It’ll be in 2015?”

@ManchuCandidate: Somewhere on his site — it was reachable last night — he explains that his earlier book was called 1994? with a question mark. He quotes a passage — I’ll take his word for it — where he gave himself an out, that if certain measurements weren’t compressed, it would be 2011 instead.

But he was dead certain about 2011.

You’re right, he’ll probably say he forgot to carry a two. But leading up to this, he wasn’t allowing himself the same excuse he provided then.

Two other fun notes:

1. One story says he’s spent $100 million on this. His foundation has been known to carry $72 million, so that’s not unreasonable. (The other $30 million? Selling off radio stations.)

2. His own TV producer doesn’t believe him, and is dreading the fallout.

In other words: The real story isn’t the prediction. It’s the aftermath.

Not-MSNBC Ad: “Safe, natural anxiety relief”. Was it something we said?

It’s a beautiful but slightly muggy day here. I’m actually contemplating firing up the AC.

Still no sign of the non Metallica Four Horsemen.

Also still waiting for Ken to drop the dime on Wonkette. I’m starting to suspect that Jack pulled a going-away prank.

9:00 ETA = 6:00 West Coast time. Happy rapture my West Coast friends!

@Serolf Divad:
Happy for us heathens. Not so much for the folks who expected to be sucked up into heaven.

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