Notorious Terrorist Obi-Wan Kenobi Killed in Firefight

We don’t know who’s behind this, but it’s awesome. As are the comments.

Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says [Galactic Empire Times]


But why are housing prices on Hoth so fucking expensive?

OMG! Love the comments! Ha!

***There’s a lot going on here that we aren’t being told. Has anyone ever actually seen Lord Vader’s birth certificate? I bet that could tell us something.

***I heard rumors he could be related to key Rebel figures.

***Yeah, he’s clearly black, and everyone knows that no black people are born in the Empire.

***I heard his real name is Annakin Sotero.

***Dude, I think your carbonite-foil hat is pressed a bit too tight. I hear the rebels have admitted he’s dead. What more proof do you need? You conspiracy theorists probably think Lord Vader’s alleged kids had something to do with it.


In an earlier statement issued to the press, Kenobi boasted that striking him down could make him “more powerful than you could possibly imagine.”

@ManchuCandidate: Some people are just inexplicably nutz about skiing. Many Bothans died… when they ventured off the bunny slopes.

Is Ripped Representative Schock gonna torpedo the Empire?

“Use your abs, Luke. Distract them until they realize that you’ve voted against raising the debt limit, thus causing the biggest economic explosion in history.”

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