Assassination Vacation Clarifications

  • Osama didn’t use his wife as a shield, nor was he armed. [Politico]
  • While Khalid Sheikh Mohammed provided an essential clue that eventually led to the raid, he didn’t cough it up while being waterboarded. [AP/Yahoo]
  • Abbottabad is named after “Major James Abbott, a 19th century [British] colonial officer”. [Time]
  • “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” No, not Twain. Clarence Darrow. [WiredPen]
  • Osama Bin Laden is still dead.

I thank George W Bush for guiding us to this sacred victory.

Well, I just found out what I had been referring to a “double tap” was actually a “Mozambique Drill.”

I thought Churchill made the obit remark.

@redmanlaw: I shaved and brushed my teeth during a conference call this morning. How do I bill that?

@Dodgerblue: I believe Jiminy Cricket offers some excellent advice on such matters.

6. Osama not really dead, but that delivery driver looked just like him!

7. Plugz “fingered” his rosary beads during the mission.

@SanFranLefty: I’ll be seeing my friend who works for him in a couple of weeks.

8. Faculty and students at Dodger’s alma mater predicted Bin Laden’s hideout two years ago.

@Dodgerblue: If you thought about a second client’s case while shaving/brushing/conferencing, you can bill both the conference call client and the thought-about client for the time in quarter-hour increments, so anything from 1 to 15 min = .25 hours. At least that’s how we did it in Big Law, where Jiminy Cricket was crushed underfoot the first week.

@SanFranLefty: Actually, they picked another building in another town, but said there could be about an 88 percent chance he could be in Abbottobadville. They said OBL would probably in a large town within a 180 mile/300 km radius of Tora Bora.

Where’s He Bin?

October 18, 2010: A senior NATO official tells CNN about claims that bin Laden is alive and well, living comfortably in a house in the north-west of Pakistan and being protected by local people and elements of Pakistani intelligence. Stating that “Nobody in al Qaeda is living in a cave,” the official stated the bin Laden was likely to have moved around in recent years in areas from the mountainous Chitral region in the far northwest, near the Chinese border, to the Kurram Valley bordering Tora Bora in Afghanistan. The official stated that Ayman al-Zawahiri is believed to be hiding close to bin Laden in houses in northwest Pakistan, but are not together. Another U.S. official stated that bin Laden and Zawahiri are “somewhere in the tribal areas of Pakistan near the Afghanistan border,” but that their exact locations are unknown: “If we knew where he was — in a house, an apartment, a villa or an underground cave or bunker — we would have gotten him; we can’t rule out he may be in a cave one day and a house in a city on another.”[24]

“I’ve been here, I’ve been there, I’ve been fucking everywhere.” Metallica, “So What”

@Mistress Cynica: The biggest remptation there was when flying on Company A’s business and doing work for Company B while in flight.

@Dodgerblue: In that case, I bill B for work done for them and then deduct the hours from A’s bill for travel.

Ex. A of “Why RML Won’t Be Getting Rich Anytime Soon.”

bin ladens hideout in abbottabad or wherever is way too awful similar to the self made prisons that carlos escobar and other columbian cocaine cartel lords did their alleged time in. they were built by the alleged prisoner with the understanding from the columbian government that as long as escobar and the rest stayed there they would suffer no further prosecution from the columbian government and be protected from the good ole US of A. sound familiar? especially considering that msnbc reported last night that construction began on bin ladens pad in 2005 at the same time ole w disbanded a CIA department dedicated solely to catching bin laden. all the while w is flapping his illiterate trap about not being concerned about bin laden or his whereabouts in some cave, he was safe in the knowledge that the pakistanis had bin laden comfortably stashed away where he could no more harm. also he couldn’t show up dead somewhere somehow allowing the few thinking americans left to question our presence in afghanistan and much more important to w, iraq. furthermore w would never be in a position to have to make the risky call obama just did and order a strike to kill bin laden with the politically suicidal risk of the mission going horribly wrong like what jimmy carter suffered in the iranian desert. the fix was in all along, not only between the pakis and bin laden but with w his own damn self as well. w, bin laden and the pakis had all their bases covered, until a democrat got elected. can’t you feel the evil presence of darth cheney lurking about as well?

@redmanlaw: you and dodger blue don’t work for “the firm” of john grisham fame, huh? the fact that you both are still breathing must be proof.

@jwmcsame: A local theater is currently staging “A Time to Kill,” which is apparently a first for any of his novels. I loved that book when I was probably a little too young to be reading it (ten or eleven), but I’m skeptical as to how it’ll translate.

So that explains why we’ve bombed thousands of rural Pakistanis and their children over the last few years–it all makes sense now. And rest assured, we’ll never suffer any consequences for it!

@redmanlaw: But did Company A also pay for the flight time besides the ticket?

@¡Andrew!: No, Bin Laden’s assassination doesn’t justify two wars and six-figure civilian casualties.

But that’s not stopping me from enjoying the hell out of it.

@mellbell: good movie with a classic sam jackson line. that theater is obviously a later run house. do they serve beer and mixed drinks and have real food? i worked at a movie theater like that which had terraced seating and tables, not sloping floors with row seats. it was a great place to wartch (east tennessee dialect) a flick. you could smoke in there too before tobacco prohibiton. i don’t smoke cigarettes and don’t care if others do. i’ve spent too much time in bars to be bothered by smoke. i learned during my bartending days that smokers are/were better tippers than non-smokers so i never minded cigs. if anyone is a non smoker and is offended by that comment, TIP MORE!.

@jwmcsame: Sadly, no second-run movie theaters in the area — it’s a play.

@nojo: Client A pays for the flight plus the time spent on travel (billed at 1/2 the hourly rate at VRYA&RML, LLP).

@mellbell: sorry for the naive reply. my mom used to drag us kids kicking and screaming to the barter theater in abingdon virginia quite often to see play after play.
the last time i went a few years ago was one flew over the cuckoos nest. it wasn’t that good. they tried to make it too serious and much of the humor from the movie (and i guess book) was lost. the set was way too dark and not built up (i’m not sure what the real term for that would be) very much. i’m writing a bunch of jibberish that might be a play one day at home in my fleeting free time about a fictional bar where the conservatives sit on one side and the liberals sit on the other discussing their version of events and making sure the two versions never meet in the middle (conflict). the television, juke box, and other patrons start the conflicts. for now the bar is in a rural town (what i know best) so guns and religion are big issues. the bartender is from a big city ( i keep changing where) and neutral. a cop visits quite often, his name is kent ketchum. i try to make it comedic. sometimes i think i am on to something and other times i feel like i have no talent what so ever and am wasting my time.

@redmanlaw: Ah. So that leaves half-time in billable opportunity costs, or something like that.

Nice thing about the bulk of my clients being a thousand miles north: No meetings.

@nojo: Basically, the profession is telling clients “you’ll pay something if you make me put my ass in a form of transport instead of letting me sit in front of a computer screen posting snark, drinking coffee that was good four hours ago and listening to sports talk radio and billing at the full rate if any work actually gets done.”

/off the clock, getting back on

@redmanlaw: Better yet, if you’re in a form of transport that has WiFi and coffee, you can do it all.

@redmanlaw: @SanFranLefty: I smell an opportunity: the Stinque Billable Hours Clock, just below the rimshot button.

@nojo: My employer just introduced telework, which means I may finally get cover for a lot of what I do anyway: checking in and responding to the most urgent emails while futzing around the house, burning brain cells on what needs to be done which is then communicated in the next email. Unfortunately there are too many meetings in my area right now to make it something I can actually schedule on a regular basis.

Oh, and if I leave the country, telework rules don’t apply.

@Nabisco: Every it dings, baby gets a new pair of shoes.

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