Jerusalem Mad Libs

“God, why did you have to put so many Jews in Israel?”

“hey god, ARMAGEDDON.
RING A FREAKIN BELL?? CAN WE GET ON WITH IT PLEASE. i AINT GOT ALL DAY”

“I love Levi.”

“Make me President and I’ll bring back the Inquisition.”

@Mistress Cynica: As if she could correctly spell Inquisition…

@Capt Howdy: …or Armageddon, for that matter.

“Please let the Battle of Armageddon proceed immediately against the Beast Soros and Antichrist Barak Hussein so that the way may be cleared for the Thousand Year Reign.”

“God, please let Obama get reelected in 2012 so my money keeps rolling in. If a Republican wins nobody is going to remember me.”

@Dave H: +1

“What does Mary have that I don’t have?”

Where the whales at?

@homofascist: Ha! You’re kicking ass in more than just the basketball bracket…

@homofascist:

was going to say something about jews not being whalers but I couldnt get it right.

hat tip.

@Capt Howdy: Ahab, after whom Capt. Ahab may have been named, was a Jewish king who married the shiksa Jezebel.

Re what Sarah’s note said: “Why can’t I be with the men?”

“Pssst! It’s me, Sarah! Keymaster of Apocalypse and gatekeeper of the Rapture. Make me president I’ll sit on your face when I get to heaven, and we know who’s getting the better part of this deal, right?”

you have been warned stinquers:

IDF officers say special department has been created to monitor left-wing groups that the army sees as aiming to delegitimize Israel; department will work closely with government ministries.

@SanFranLefty: @Capt Howdy: Thank you. Please tip the veal.

I also considered “You mean I brought this harpoon for nothing?” but just can’t resist a sentence that ends in ‘at’…

@Capt Howdy: Bibi is doing a pretty good job of delegitimizing without any foreign help.

I sit on your face.

@Capt Howdy: Time for Women of the IDF: Spring Break Edition

http://doubletapper.blogspot.com/2011/01/idf-women_14.html

caught the re run of bill maher last night. he suggested to the israeli ambassador that the west bank can maybe be a time share. i’ve heard worse ideas.
he also, for the first time, admitted he is a jew, but is sooo anti religion he rejects it. i also reject religion, but not the fact that i AM a jew.
his mom must be so proud. boo on bill.
cue: “i am what i am”