President Newt is Coming for Dinner
Newt Gingrich is ready to be President. Now that we’re looking at the prospect of a government shutdown, Gingrich gets to reminisce about the last time he was popular, which was right before the last government shutdown. He’s convinced himself that he maybe can beat Huckabee and Palin and all of the other Fox News Commentators in a primary run. After this, his tea party will Dress Up as Indians and throw that bad man off of the White House like a big bag of black tea. Or, that’s how I imagine it playing out. Anyway, the dude became the first major contender to start an exploratory committee, which is just an early way of saying election committee.
Newt recently said that: “2010 was the appetizer” and added that “2012 is the entrée” which means that his presidency will be the delicious truffle at the end of the smörgåsbord of a year that is a Presidential election. This is just like how his affair with a congressional aide was an entrée after the appetizers and salad that were his first and second wives, and the palate-cleansing sorbet that was his second wife’s cancer. Of course, Newt might not remember that past meal as well, since he was too busy watching the neighboring table, where Bill Clinton was trying to clean up the stains left after his own kosher feast with Monica Lewinski, or something.