Other Things Mike Lee Likes in a Sentence

“It turns out that there’s only three things Mike Lee likes in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and ‘unconstitutional.'”

  • Endless digressions.
  • A profound, succinct thought, leading to a fart gag.
  • Incessant Reification of Abstract Concepts.

  • One space following the period.
  • “I, Sigourney Weaver, want to fuck Mike Lee’s brains out.”
  • Obscure references to Kaye Ballard and/or Eve Arden.
  • Definite articles.
  • Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.
  • “I’m not saying Mike Lee is an anal-dripping pederast, but…”
  • Diyup.
Mike Lee Suggests FEMA, Federal Poverty And Food Safety Programs Are All Unconstitutional [ThinkProgress]

FABRIZIO: But could Louisiana, for example, have dealt with Katrina? That would have absolutely broken the bank. Should the federal government, in an ideal way, should the federal government have been involved in that at all?

LEE: Well, look, they were, and I generally make a practice of not unnecessarily and futility going back a few years and saying we shouldn’t have done that because the fact is that we did. But looking forward…states will prepare differently if they understand that it’s their responsibility rather than that of the federal government.

Great, so you’ve got “strict constitutionallists” claiming that Federal disaster relief is unconstitutional, state constituitions that prohibit budget deficits and anti-tax groups ensuring that state governments can never raise the funds necessary to pay for a state-wide natural disaster.

Welcome to the new Somalia.

I wonder if Mike Lee wants Kaye’s phone number?

I rather think that if they do beatify Pope John he might become Saint Pederast. It has a fine Catholic ring to it.

Speaking of teabagging asshats, I give you Maine’s new governor. First he gets a bunch of flak for telling the NAACP to “kiss his ass”, then he defends him self with the classic “look, I adopted a black kid”, then we find out the NAACP thing didn’t happen the way he said it did and his “adopted son” isn’t actually adopted, he was LaPage’s Jamaican caddy’s kid.

Kid’s in graduate school now, and started living with the LaPage family in 2002. Anybody else mildly creeped out by that?

I can’t wait until that fucking idiot Mike Lee tells the Utah voters that it offends his delicate sensibilities to have any sort of federal money come to the state and that he will actively fight and refuse it.

Oh, right….

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: Maybe it’s because he used to be my Senator, but I will never tire of “Mitch McConnell looks like a turtle” jokes.

Am I the only one unable to post to FB at this point?

Related: GOP study group releases new “Fuck the Poor” spending plan

The funniest thing about the plan is that it handwaves $2.3 trillion of the $2.5 trillion it claims to save (with a “cap”) but then deliberately points out all the specific programs to cut for the other 8% worth of the savings; the only way they could have made the message clearer would have been to line up some poor people and have Boner shit on their faces.

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