That’s Not a Bug, That’s a Feature

Title: “Sarah Palin Talking Keychain”

Manufacturer: Emanation

Rank: 3 (in Toys & Games > Novelty & Gag Toys > Gag Toys & Practical Jokes)

Blurb: “We eat, therefore we hunt * Pretty relevant important stuff… to me anyway * In what respect, Charlie? * Ya quit makin’ things up * I’ll betcha! Plus five more BONUS phrases.”

Review: “I have to say I am a little disappointed. I expected to get four years of use out of this toy, but it simply quit working altogether after not even two, for no explicable reason.”

Customers Also Bought: “Barack Obama Toilet Tissue Paper”

Footnote: Beware of malfunctions: “While I do like the lifelife feel (plastic) and the realistic voice (screechy), sometimes you don’t even have to push the button for it to spout off.”

Sarah Palin Talking Keychain [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon kickback link]


In breaking news, Lifetime announces casting for a major new biopic entitled Grisly: The Life of Sarah Palin – American Woman and Mother in Case You Hadn’t Noticed with a script by William Kristol. Nicole Polizzi, aka ‘Snooki’ from Jersey Shore will bring an irreverent freshness to the rôle of the former half-term governor as she claws fights fucks struggles to find her way to the top. Though final casting for Todd yet to be announced, the producers are reportedly in talks with Neil Patrick Harris.

@Benedick: Snooki! I didn’t know you were a fan, Benedick! Will they film it at Seaside Heights?

/shakes head/

BTW, a head cold gave me strange dreams last night. It was probably the first time in my life that I ever dreamed about punctuation.

@ManchuCandidate: That was no head cold: That’s what happens when your head gets bounced off the pavement.

@JNOV: Whoops. My grammar-inspired threats are empty, I promise! And can I just mention, once again, that I adore all of you?

@flippin eck: Hey, we could all use a good head bouncing from time to time. :-)

At the risk of further annoying folks with my David Foster Wallace obsession love, I’d like to mention that he lavishes praise on his copy editor that turned around Infinite Jest in record time. That’s no small feat, especially when DFW invented words and had a gazillion end notes that were more like short stories.

So, my hat is off to you (makes head bouncing easier ;-P). I didn’t mean to minimize your knowledge and expertise. You might be pleased to know that last semester my kid found a fragment in one of his books. It drove him to distraction. I told him to write a polite note to the publisher. He didn’t, but still.

Did I mention that I adore you? I do!

Snooki? OK, but I thought someone like Jocelyn James, Tiger Wood’s pornstar girlfriend, would more convincingly convey the Talibunny’s essential savagery.

I saw Biutiful lasr night, starring Javier Barden. Not just another pretty face, Javier, he can act. Not to mention knocking up Penelope Cruz (cue quacking noise from Santa Fe).

@Dodgerblue: QUACK!

You’re drunk, aren’t you?

ETA: Oh, wow. I wonder how her implants are faring inside those megagigantor tatas. Someone’s gonna need a boob lift. ;-P

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