Soylent Green is Jesus

So PepsiCo is running a contest for Super Bowl Doritos ads, and somebody submitted the above, and then Fox caught wind of it last week, and, well, you know the rest:

After Media Wave submitted the ad in early November, a number of Catholic groups, including one called America Needs Fatima, took issue with the ad, which the group believed mocks the Holy Eucharist. That group started an online petition to ask Pepsi to reject the ad.

We were actually going to run this early Saturday afternoon, but then we got, um, distracted.

PepsiCo Snafu Illustrates Dangers of Crowd Sourcing [Mashable]

Oh, well, hell. Video DMCA’d.

It’s so sad that these people have to be constantly on guard to protect the image of God. All they manage to do is to reduce their version of God to a petulant little kid who is going to have hurt feelings from the comparison of wine and bread to Pepsi and Doritos.

Was Mel Gibson involved?

Enough of this bullshit. Can’t see the video so I gift you with this one instead. Do not say I never do anything for you, people. Also, can anyone explain what she’s wearing? Str8 men can safely play along with this one. I swear. This is vintage. This will lift your spirits as you bang your head on the wall.

@Benedick: That’s a plastic bag/polyester/knit blend in black and white leopard print with sparkly accessories (I can’t discuss her jewelry yet, one thing at a time), which I don’t know my Leviticus perfectly but isn’t there something right next to the No Ass-Fucking section and No Shellfish section that says No Cotton/Mixed Fiber Blends?

@SanFranLefty: In that case the wig probably scrapes by. That’s pure Dynel.

Hey, it’s spin to win time: per TPM, a CBS poll — did intense political discourse have anything to do with shooting? YES 32:57 NO. And it breaks on party lines — only one in five Republicans thought that winger talk had anything to do with it.

On this evidence (such as it is): the wingers are going to go right back to the same rhetoric fairly soon. It ain’t cheating until you get caught.

@flippin eck: O. M. G. She even talks like Jerri Blank. I bet you could dry beef down there…


What I want to know is exactly when the self-proclaimed “moral conservatives” will run out their “sky is falling” credits. Haven’t they been predicting that TEH BLAKZ and TEH GHEYZ would destroy America for 40 years?

@al2o3cr: Think of the Irish in Boston, or similar stories for any new wave of immigrants. The sky’s been falling for a long-ass time.

@JNOV: Bastids. It was working last night.

Well, now that they’ve Googled themselves with this post, let’s just update the video with the backup I downloaded…

Now I’m all kinds of offended. Actually, I am. I don’t give a fuck but if I were of a religious bent (ahem) I’d be all up in someone’s grillz right about now. What denomination are they? Epepsicolean? Also, did they have to make the trainee priest quite so gay?

@JNOV: Werd.

@al2o3cr: I really do wonder what they’ll come up with next. The French?

@nojo: Will you possibly receive Stinque’s first take-down notice?

Pssst, Media Wave.

@JNOV: If they have it digitally “fingerprinted” — which is typically what happens with movie clips and such — the YouTube Central Scrutinizer will find it soon enough.

My take is that it’s now “news”, and is being presented as such. But my take isn’t legally binding.

@homofascist: I want to talk about the necklace next. It looks like a bunch of those special anal/vaginal beads.

I think the ad’s cute. But then again I’m Protestant through and through, so I’m firmly in the latter camp with the whole transubstantiation vs. symbolic presence debate. Anyone who’s used to grape juice and a random assortment of breads (that week they used sourdough was the bomb!) is a little less prone to find this blasphemous, IMHO.

I’ve always found the idea of eating Jesus’ body and drinking his blood to be more than a little creepy. Imagining him running around coated in Nacho Cheeze powder with fizzing black sugarwater running through his veins does not, really, reduce the creepy factor AT ALL.

@Benedick: It looks like she cobbled that outfit together from a strip club’s going out of business sale. The jacket is obviously made from the stage curtains, the jewelry comes from the disco chandeliers, the earrings from the matching beaded curtain, and the wig is either a compilation of merkins or what’s left of one entertainer’s school girl wig after Miss Thing took a knife to it while on a vodka and vicodin rampage.

So, good for her for recycling.

@Benedick: This could get interesting…

No pricing announced yet (always the catch), but Verizon will be offering a “wifi hotspot” option — instead of AT&T, which forces you to pay extra for bluetooth/USB tethering. Then there’s the “unlimited data” option.

I pay the ripoff AT&T fee for the tethering because I really need that feature, and, well, it’s deductible. But if AT&T and Verizon get into a price/feature war over iPhone wireless options, I will be very, very happy.

@nojo: I don’t really know what that is you’re talking about but obviously I need it. At the moment I’m using Verizon with no plan on a pre-paid basis which costs about $16 a month. But I would gladly become a cellphone slave again so I can play Angry Birds on the bus.

This bimbo isn’t even original in her ideas. I am pretty certain similar themes have been espoused in the movies albeit not with the anti-homo bent.

BTW, as a part time papist fool, I think the commercial would have been a hoot. What a shame.

On another note – that wacko minister from Missouri will be protesting at the funeral of the girl in Arizona. I think the theme this time may not be gehyz but papists. They brought it down on themselves.

I recently started trying to learn something about Cathoholism, since I’m attending a Jesuit University and even the cats in Mexico and Spain are super Cathoholic, but I couldn’t even make it a third of the way through the Wikipedia page without totally zoning out.



Note that Verizon has its own *special* way of fucking customers with the hotspot – you pay $20/month extra and it draws from a separate 2GB data cap, at least for most phones.

The UK apparently has it even worse, although I wonder what the move to pretend some kinds of data aren’t “OK” will prompt the UK truth-in-advertising crowd to do. At least here in the US, at least 2/3rds of the phone ads are specifically about “OMG VIDEOS LOLZ”…

@al2o3cr: That’s very close to my fucked-up AT&T plan: $25/month for 2 gigs, plus another $20/month for the “privilege” of unlocking a feature built into the iPhone.

No extra data for the tethering. No extra work on AT&T’s part, either. I only pay it because I need it.

@DElurker: ON behalf of my friends in MO, I would like to point out that Phelps and his band of h8ters are from Kansas, thankyouverymuch.

Mistress, my apologies to your friends in MO. I was too lazy to go back and get the correct info. We all have enough crazies in our own states without taking credit for other state’s crazies.

@nojo: One word: jailbreak. That coupled with your original unlimited data plan allows you to turn that phone into a hotspot. From what I’ve been told, Apple and ATT are none the wiser about what that huge data draw is going towards.

Conclusion: It’s better to fight, than switch.

@peggynooner: Can’t jailbreak, alas. I’m a paid-up developer.

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