Happy New Year!

If I were in NotTibet, I’d be lining up my designated Sherpa right about now. Happy New Year!

In the new year I will not succumb to weakness and post comments on stupid blogs.

Oh wait.

It is freaking cold as heck outside. And. I. am. loving. it.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: We have freakishly warm weather and I woke up to a thunderstorm. The Mayan End of Days in 2012 seems to be coming along nicely…one more year to go!

Anyone see Inside Job? Trying to decide if it’s worth trudging through the slush…

What the hell did I do to trigger the “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up” ad?

@JNOV: I got Lucky Charms.

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: :-)

I am not drunk yet, just so you know. Can’t even work on it as I am in the office.

I did buy some shiva crystals yesterday, in case you know what those are. Should be a nice evening.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @flippin eck: I woke up to sunshine and not a cloud in the sky for the first time since, oh, October. Cold by Orygun standards (mid-20s), frosty, and gorgeous.
Mayan end of days will fall on my 3rd anniversary, so party at my place!

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Are they like Ben Wa balls (best kept in the fridge)?

ADD: Ohhhhhh. Delightful!

@Mistress Cynica: Two of my neighbors have remarked that it’s “chilly” in Sandy Eggo this week. I quickly corrected them.

@Mistress Cynica: It’s 38 degrees and overcast right now. When I took my dog for a walk this morning, she was loving it. Me, not quite so much since my neighbor failed to turn off her sprinkler last night so I skated awkwardly over an ice patch on the sidewalk in front of her house.

@JNOV: One of my friends from college married a Belgian guy named Benoît. Naturally people couldn’t stop asking about his… well you know.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: @JNOV: The things I learn from you two.

@JNOV: Yes, yes they are.

Happy lots of football and drinking weekend! I think my New Years resolutions are heading towards more sex, alcohol and Dodger games. Enlightenment will come when it comes but Bushmills you can just go out and buy.

@Dodgerblue: Want some Shiva crystals?

@mellbell: And it isn’t even after dark yet!

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Thanks, but I smoked some nom-crystals when I was in college and didn’t care for it much. Made me too edgy.

@¡Andrew!: Benoit?

BTW. Some of us are working here.

@Benedick: Oh come on Benedict! Come out and play!

@Dodgerblue: Never understood meth. All the Incessant Awareness with None of the Fun.

@nojo: I was referring to hash. Am I wrong?

@Benedick: Technically, I am also worqueing.

@nojo: Not that I would know, but I’ve heard that if someone tries meth once, especially in combo with other activities like sexxxy time, it’s a tremendous rush. If someone tries it a second time, their only thought is “WHERECANIGETMOREMOREMORE” until they’re day-ed.

@JNOV: Just don’t buy the lead-covered made in China ben wa balls – hamsters would be a safer choice for sticking in the orifices than those poisoned lead balls.

@Dodgerblue: Tommy was talking hash.

@Mistress Cynica: I have you beat – the Mayan End of Days will be on my 40th birthday.

My house is now secure against further rough entry! New deadbolts are on (I remembered yesterday — fuck — there was a house key in my wallet) and both basement doors are now NAILED SHUT.

Not that there’s anything left in my house to steal of value, but I would be dead in the water if my computer were stolen.

@SanFranLefty: Do you still get carded at bars? Wouldn’t surprise me.

@SanFranLefty: Tommy was talking about the best hash ever.

@¡Andrew!: Umn, that is not true. It can get pretty bad…so I’ve heard…but it isn’t an automatic hook like people say.

@Tommmcatt: Like I said, I’ve never tried the Lindsey Lohan Diet®. I much prefer refreshments of the herbal variety.

That said, Mr. ¡A! keeps hoarding all his Percocet from having all four of his wisdom teeth out last week ’cause he’s “in constant pain.” Aren’t we all, dude.

@SanFranLefty: RIGHT! These are solid glass with pretty little flowers. I’m assuming Nojo doesn’t get an itemized list of things purchased through the Amazon kickback link.

@mellbell: :-)

@¡Andrew!: Hee!

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: I do, dammit! I haven’t had hash in 25 years. Do you have the special hookah?

@¡Andrew!: Pfft. Just steal some and replace them with Tylenol PM.

Oh, and the meth thing? I’d rather not feel my skin crawl, so yeah. I was offered crank in high school, and I was like, um, I don’t know what this is, but I’m not messing with anything with that dumb name. The Crystal Method, however, is totally awesome. Chemical Brothers, too.

@¡Andrew!: I had a nice talk with my doctor about the lack of enthusiasm on my part for Vicodin. She offered that it made her feel dirty. So next time I fall on my ass it’s Percocet for me.

@JNOV: I light kush and sprinkle it on once the bed is nice and hot.

@JNOV: Awesome toonz from the Crystal people–I can jam to these all day!

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Sounds much better than this contraption. You got snacks?

@¡Andrew!: I thought you’d like them. Vegas is my favorite CD of theirs. Great music for the red eye and for other more intense activities.

ADD: I love this one.

People are driving like lunatics already.

Also, did we know that the first day of the year used to be April 25th aka Lady Day (not Billie Holiday, the other one)? Until 1759 or thereabouts? Yeah, I didn’t give a shit either.

@Benedick: Shit. Immabout to drag take the kids to see Inside Job, and we gotta drive b/c it’s only being shown in two places, neither nearby.

I give a shit and a fart, too. People have been setting off fireworks all. day. long. Never mind they’re illegal and shit. It’s gonna be a crappy night but not nearly as bad as when a Sport team wins something and people honk their car horns for hours. It’s not just the folks driving down the street; some venture all the way to the driveway to sit in their vehicles and honk away. For hours. Until they pass out.

@JNOV: Be very very careful.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Is it safe to hitchhike anymore? I might have to resort to such to get back to CA. We still have a date at Disney Land, yes?

@Benedick: I promise. I am a defensive driver. I’ll ring in the new year with you guys when I get back, unless Catt is planning on being with Meat People again. Not like we can’t have a good time without him…

@JNOV: You become meat people once we meet each other!

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: I have to lie down.

*Yawns and stretches* Happy New Year everyone!

(Although it looks a lot like the old one from where I’m sitting)

@JNOV: NO. Unless you’re looking to be raped, murdered, and dumped somewhere outside of Tucumcari.

@CheapBoy: Easy for you to say. We have yet to go through the horror. Oh wait. I’m nowhere near Times Square. Happy New Year, you cheap bastard.

@Mistress Cynica: Shh. Don’t say that. It’s crazy out there. Octogenarians are gunning their Chevys and blasting through parking lots aiming for expectant mothers. No one is safe.

One good thing: we narrowly escaped becoming proud fathers of an Australian Shepherd pup. Cute as can be but I am too driven to have a puppy right now. Trailing three resentful boys counting the days till the first season.

again? still? we’ve moved on from vicodin to percocet?
why do you people insist on taunting me?
i’m giving up dirty martinis for my resolution (i’m soo deep)
but i’m on bottle 2 of champagne. the way it was meant to be had, sitting at my desk and chugging from the bottle. wheeeeee!!!!!

@Benedick is chillax to the max: I spent the evening watching the cat looking at me looking at him going “What?”

You hear stories of cats and dogs being freaked out by the fireworks but cat was totally fine.

But those 50mm Mortars make a nasty rumble in the night. I think I was more worried about the cat than the cat was worried.

And unless I’m wrong. Today is 58 in Binary

@baked: You go, girl!

There’s an Australian wine company called Two Hands–the name on the bottle doubles as the instructions for the libations.

Meanwhile, I’m still at fuqueing worque, and I haven’t seen my boss since I heard his tires squealing in the parking lot at 3:58 pm YESTERDAY. He’s gonna get a visit from three ghosts soon.

@baked: I just spent the whole fucking afternoon helping Mrs RML’s conservative cousin fill out her confidential candidate questionnaire for possible employment with the incoming GOP administration. I feel good cuz (a) she’s family and (b) she stood up to some party operative on an Important Ladybits Issue in her initial interview. Just swigged the remains of a Yellow Tail shiraz from the bottle so I gots a nice buzzzzz going on.

We’re having a few people over for tamales and frijoles y jamon y chicos (ranging from the Pep Boys mechanic from Mexico to the Yankee blublood, a dude from a Big Green Organization, the aforementioned cousin and her mellow Hispanic homeboy hippie boyfriend). I’m gonna be a responsible adult until the company leaves then I’ll get into the gin. I’m going hiking tomorrow, so I can’t be barfing all over the trail, although cold mountain air can really help the crudo.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: . . .in meatspace.

@JNOV: Didn’t make it to the rez for fireworks, so I have to dig into my reserve supplies in the garage. I have about 500 firecrackers plus some shitty rockets. I really wanted some fountains.

@¡Andrew!: You should go all Harold and Kumar go to White Castle on his ass.

@redmanlaw:
cheers reds! i am more than buzzed, now staggering a tad. ready to change out of my daytime pajamas into my festive ones for a lobster dinner and The Sound of Music. that’s what i call a good new years eve!
Cheers to all of you. thanks for making last year great and i look forward to another year of fun with the stinque kids!

@¡Andrew!:
ah, aussies. i know quite a few here. they drink A LOT. what say you cheapboy?
ooh i smell a rat…making lobsters!!! see y’all later.
(JNOV—hitchhiking? don’t make me hurt you)

@Mistress Cynica: Now that you mention it, I did almost end up in the Great Dismal Swamp once, so yeah.

@redmanlaw: Have any worms?

@baked: MWAH!

@baked: Oooh, lobster. We’re currently enjoying a glass of Counoise (a marvelous red) by a roaring fire. Mr Cyn is making dinner—wild-caught steelhead trout—and we’ll be staying in and listening to the Flaming Lips NYE show streaming live from beautiful OKC.
@Benedick is chillax to the max: Lucky escape, unless you have something for them to herd. You don’t want to end up like these desperate border collie owners who are renting sheep so their dogs won’t go psycho. Talk about “problems rich white people have”)

@Mistress Cynica:
i now have “herd” everything.

@baked: That rated the emergency rimshot button.

I’m heading out to dinner atthe tres hip Border Grill, then home to hang out with my wife and arthritic dog and watch a movie. Happy New Year!!!

@baked: I promise — no hitchhiking unless things become unbearable. “I’m traveling for my health.”

@Dodgerblue: Happy New Year, Dear One!

@Mistress Cynica: My friend’s herd her cats. I’m not sure why the cats oblige.