The W is for ‘Wishful Thinking’

Preznit git bad review:

Decision Points flaunts its postmodernity by blurring the distinction between fiction and non-fiction. That is to say, the parts that are not outright lies – particularly the accounts of Hurricane Katrina and the lead-up to the Iraq War – are the sunnier halves of half-truths. The legions of amateur investigative journalists on the internet – as usual, doing the job the major media no longer perform – are busily compiling lists of those lies. Gerhard Schroeder has already stated that the passage in which he appears is completely false. And even Mother has weighed in. Interviewed recently on television, she said she never showed Junior that jar, but maybe ‘Paula’ did. (It was assumed we would know that Paula was the maid.)

Probably the first and last time I will see the names George W. Bush and Michel Foucault in the same piece.

‘Damn Right’, I Said [London Review of Books]

The politest shitting on a book I’ve ever read.

Piece of shit, fucking DIE!!! Send this fucker to Kabul with a “I Fuck Allah Up the Ass in the Name of Jesus” T-shirt. Then, when the locals are done with him, send him to Baghdad; then, when the locals are done with him, send him to The Hague.

@FlyingChainSaw: Dude. We need an End of Year Chainsaw post. Truly.

@JNOV: Trying to get some real work out the door so I can compile a compendium of the horrors that beset our land this year and frame them in the most appropriately apocalyptic terms possible. It’s been a particularly horrific year.

Thank you. As another year wends its way to a close, peaceful or not, let us all pray that God continues to shine His light on our beloved City on a Hill…

Wait. Oh no, that’s my entry in the Peggy Noonan Republican Prose Contest.

Um, right. Well thank you for reminding me why I left the land of Agatha Christie and Simon Cowell by linquing to that supercilious prick in the LRB (no I don’t want a fucking subscription!). But yes, he finally does get to the point, which is as dismal, nay, footling, as we all remember it to be. There is nothing remotely interesting about any of those people. They don’t even make shit up that has any degree of reality. As if any of those reported conversations that make one’s eyes glaze over bear any relation to events that happened at some point in the past. The review is worth trying to read though you might want to skip the annoying bits as the reviewer lets us all in on the secret of his awesome sense of humour by invoking Foucault. An annoying trait that is at once in bad taste and distracting from what’s going on, namely a denunciation of Preznit Bunnypants.

Were any of us about to rush out to be this publishing construct? No. Are we going to hide it behind the works of Theodore Dreiser – where it can be reliably consigned to oblivion – when it shows up at the local library? Yes. Did the pipes freeze last night cutting off the hot water? No. So do I care about the manufacture of lies I will never read to further the invention of the presidency that never was? Not really.

What is sobering is to compare what we had with what we have.

Given the torrent of lunacy about to descend on DC I wonder how long it can be before the rest of the world cuts itself off from the US in self-defense?

@Benedick: Hokay. Time to drank now. Thanks for the excuse.

@Benedick: Oh, and let the hot taps drip slowly at night to prevent pipe freezage.

@JNOV: I usually do that but forgot. There’s a small, secondary basement under the kitchen that causes the trouble. Its relationship to the main cellar is as the signifier to the signified.

@FlyingChainSaw: agreed. I will always believe that 9-11 was the product of PNAC and darth cheney. But as bill maher has oft stated, w could not have been involved because unfortunately the 9-11 plot succeeded. all w is involved with fails. i believe that 9-11 was supposed to happen on clintons watch but because PNAC haggled too much with the saudis over minute details probably involving cash, the saudis turned the tables on them and waited until one of PNACs own was in office just to show the neo-cons who they were fucking with. That explains the fucked up look on w’s face when he was told of the attack while reading the pet goat. w had to be thinking, “damn cheney said it was supposed to fuck clinton up not me. i thought cheney called the damn thing off.” I hope this doesn’t offend anyone, but remember PNAC wished and called for a pearl harbor like event to gird us to and for war with middle and central asian countries over energy resources.

@Benedick: In other words, you drink to forget but forget to drink sometimes, because of the drunkenness.

@jwmcsame: Ach. You are a smart guy, but there is a lot wrong with that theory, starting with the fact that to set something up like that during the Clinton administration, Cheney would have had to have had complete cooperation from the Air Force and both branches of our secret police. He just didn’t have his hands on those levers at that time.

But we can agree to disagree.

@Benedick: I’m sorry, but the ref just threw a penalty flag for a Foucalt joke after midnight.

I once was lost, but I was in the lost and found.

Wait. Whoa. The National Parks Service sold pamphlets saying that the Grand Canyon was caused by The Great Flood? Seriously?

@JNOV: We don’t need no stinkin’ science! Law of Gravity is actually God’s Hand of Intelligent Falling. Plate tectonics is Baby Jeebus playing with his Holy Legos.

@SanFranLefty: And earthquakes are divine farts? Did Mr. SFL teach you this?

@Dodgerblue: This is per Pennsylvania and Texas school books.

ADD: Volcanoes are divine farts.

@SanFranLefty: That makes sense. I had a Mount St. Helens-like experience once after eating some bad sushi.

@SanFranLefty: Heh. Shouldn’t the NPS pamphlets have been illegal or something? That’s totally bizarre. I’m going to see if I can find one online so I can read the text.

@SanFranLefty: Awesome. I wasn’t aware that the flood that left the ark on Mt. Ararat also occurred in Arizona. Maybe there wasn’t an ocean in between then.


You just wrote Stinque Comment Number 100,000!!!

/confetti, vuvuzelas and trumpets

Our host Nojo will tell you what you’ve won.

@SanFranLefty: Oh. Wait. So it wasn’t produced by the NPS?

@JNOV: No, it wasn’t. But NPS was forced into stocking it at the shops alongside the other books about the canyon.

@SanFranLefty: Wow. I feel a beam of light shining on me. No, not like that police officer when I was a teenager sleeping in my car.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah. Here’s a summary of the whole deal if anyone cares.

@Dodgerblue: Hopefully not like the lights of the oncoming train.
“Sleeping”? Is that what y’all called it back in your day?

And all of it done on billable time!!!!! (see other note about bitterness)

@Benedick: 150K can be yours, grasshopper, if you just try.

@SanFranLefty: He was right: First let’s kill all the lawyers. Mind you, He didn’t have to cope with copyright or subsidiary rights.

“Wait, what, BA wants This sceptred isle for a TV spot? K. But only for the territories. Australia can go fuck itself.”


[cues up canned speech about how Shakespeare was making a point about how if you don’t have lawyers, then you don’t have Rule of Law, ergo you end up in a kleptocracy/teabaggers’ paradise]

/carry on.

@Benedick: Indeed, he did a bit of borrowing from other writers, but Disney wasn’t around to bitch about it, you know what I mean?

@SanFranLefty: Just for starters. After I put my kids through college, I went back to working for way less than a pea-green associate makes at a BigLaw firm. More hours, too. These industry dickheads I deal with now can mock me, but they can’t outwork me.

@Dodgerblue: If I stay relatively on schedule, my law school loans will be paid off in the next five to ten years. I’ll then save up on a year’s worth of my law school loan payments to pay for a sweet ass fucking party for all of us to celebrate.

@jwmcsame: You forgot the part about the UFO.

Seriously, if the forces of darkness were that efficient, we’d be in far deeper shit than we are now.

@JNOV: I am so infuriated at everything now I don’t know where to start. I could scream for weeks nonstop just about the fucking banks.

@FlyingChainSaw: Agree. We got lucky that Bush was so ineffective.

@FlyingChainSaw: Start small. Carly Fiorina’s campaign for an amuse bouche, perhaps, then a segue to Jan Brewer. You can get to the true crimes against humanity – Sarah Palin, the banksters- when the juice gets flowing.

@FlyingChainSaw: Yeah, well start screaming and writing.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment