The Lord Works It In Mysterious Ways

I didn’t know the Pope was left-handed.

Wish God would surprise me.

Am I the only one working? Fuque.

You and the Freelance Hamsters.

Well, Christmas. It’s for the kids. Pah rah pah pah yadda yadda yadda.

Man — just fed kids. We have to be fortified for tomorrow. Might gird our loins, too.

@Benedick: Haha! No matter how hard the nuns try to convert the sinister ones, some habits are hard to break.

@JNOV: Sister Vagina Dentata.

@Benedick and nojo: And me! I’m at work. Actually trying to get shit done so I can take next week off.

@Benedick: Pish posh. That Vagina Dentata business is just a way to make dudes fear the orchid of loveliness. I think the English once made it illegal for teh wimminz to own orchids for fear they’d want sexytime.

@Benedick: I’m working. The thing about temp work is, you don’t get paid if you don’t put in the hours.

@Benedick: Ramen.

Apologies to Manchu

Everybody pauses and stares at me
I’m in a bad way as you can see
I don’t know just who to blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is two hot dudes,
two hot dudes,
two hot dudes!

Gee, if I could only
have my two hot dudes,
then I could wish you
“Merry Christmas.”

It seems so long since I could say,
“Have some water and a short nap!”
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,
if I could only straddle someone’s lap

Work break: 20 Years of Screaming Schwarzenegger

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yeah. I know your pain.

@SanFranLefty: Good riddance. Take your cigar and shove it.

@JNOV:
Hee.

No apologies. I certainly never invented the filk nor do I claim to be sole proprietor.

@ManchuCandidate: Heh. I guess I need to be more specific in my requests. Downstairs (hot) Dude just kissed me, swatted my ass and invited me to have “a little party. I got some beer. I got a little wine…”

Er. Been there. Did that. Third time is not the charm. Ass swatting not so enticing, either.

@JNOV: Werd. What is it about the holidays? I had to explain multiple times to the homeless dude bobbing and weaving as I waited for the bus that (1) I am not in need of a boyfriend; (2) I am not in need of a “special delivery holiday present” from him; (3) I do not want to be his girlfriend; and (4) I do not want to see a “secret from Santa.”

WTF!

Pah rah pah pah pum. And such as.

@SanFranLefty: Haha! I’m sure he was so happy to not be invisible, you know? You gave him a much better present than any he’d like to give you.

Yeah, Downstairs Dude always manages to be taking out his trash when I go outside to smoke. I was like, “You’re not slick. You hear me walking down the steps, and you run outside.” “No, no!” “Yes, yes!”

@Benedick: Cum, they told me. Actually, I blame all this on Catt. He was the one who kept telling me I needed to get laid last summer. Yes, it’s his fault that I am now stalked by my neighbor. Not in a scary way. Just in a please pity fuck me way. I don’t pity anyone that much.

@JNOV: Hey, did you see that the Nojo States beat Navy in the Something Bowl today? This is not giving me confidence about our Fleet, if you know what I mean.

@Dodgerblue: Ha! I’m sure Nojo is quite proud. Naw, I didn’t see it. I only dig the Navy-Army game. I didn’t even know Navy made it to a bowl (there are like 30sumthin of them, right?). I consider military Sport akin to Ivy League Sport: a joke. I went to a Big Green v. Quakers game once. That shit was pitiful. I think the tickets were six dollars, and I still want my money back. ;-)

@JNOV: I worked with a guy who grew up in Philly and went to a Quaker school. He was on the wrestling team. Quakers wrestle?

@Dodgerblue: Haha! Benedick’s all over wrestling! I went to a Friends school for a few years. I don’t think we had a wrestling team though. 50 people in my graduating class, and I don’t think one was a Quaker. One was a descendant of General Lee, and when we went to Arlington, she told us they were still trying to get that land back. I have no idea what they planned to do with the bodies.

@Dodgerblue: @JNOV:

1) There was Sport today?

2) If it’s Orygun State, I care even less. I piss on Corvallis from approximately 47 miles south. Plus another thousand.

@JNOV: Quakers wrestle? Are there pictures? Do we know if any of them want to break in to Musical Theatre? Private coaching can be arranged. I’m cheap.

Orchids. Well, yes. That would send the English screaming for their copy of James Barrie’s I am not afraid of Wimmin. Or that unspeakable C S Lewis person. I love orchids though they make me nervous for the depth of their extravagance. But I could learn to master them if I had the right room. But I don’t. Too bright and too dry.

I think that most things can be blamed on Catt.

@Dodgerblue: Is that the 7/11 Truck Jumping Championship?

@SanFranLefty: It’s the holiday drank affect.

Happy Baby Jeebus Not-Birthday/Yule Viking Midwinter y’all.

This young man in the screen shot: is he a Quaker? I think he could definitely have a future in Musical Theatre once he learned how to play his intention.

@Benedick: My friend the Quaker wrestler, who of course is Jewish, would not make an attractive candidate for musical theater, indeed he is not attractive physically at all, although probably a good wrestler when young.

orchids. they are ratbastards main hobby. he no doubt imagines them to be his girlfriends. they certainly get more attention than i do.
why has ‘catt done this to me?