ALL ABOARD!

So, here it is.  Senate votes on DREAM, and then on DADT, are set to roll at 1030 Eastern War Time. 

The rules are simple.  A majority vote is required to pass legislation in any parliamentary system.  So if 51 Senators out of a hundred vote —

Oh, screw it.  You know something? If the Founding Fathers knew that the “saucer to cool the tea” crap that they were pushing, in order to head off the possibility of mob rule, would lead to this 60% majority to do anything, they would have said “forget it — let’s just have a unicameral legislature.”  Seriously.

But: play it as it lies.  Scott Brown, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe hold the keys to the kingdom today.  And who said the GOP was dead in New England?

It’s an open thread, y’all.  GO!

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And the Geezer is bringing some old school cranky, promising no cooperation with the Dems when the new Senate comes in next month.

As if there were cooperation with the Dems before, naturally.

@chicago bureau:
Navy… spent time in prison… Not saying, just saying.

Somebody should bottle the speech just given by Dick Durbin (D. — Ill.) in re DREAM and shove it down the throats of a good many people. Good stuff.

Oh hey, Univision is covering this live. Con mucho sabor!

I thought I was depressed yesterday. Today’s news has not helped in the least.

Michele Bachmann is going to be chair of the House intelligence committee and Sheryll is dead from food poisoning.

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: So Michelle is trusted with intel now? And they’re bitching about Julian Assange? Yikes.

(So sorry about Sheryll. I know nothing of her — a pet I presume. Sad.)

Early returns on DREAM — Aye 35:22 No. No swingers yet.

Lugar’s a yes. So that’s one GOPer. 40:22 to the good at the moment.

Prior of Arkansas is a no. Lincoln, though, votes correctly to the aye side. Arkansas, then, is split.

And Scott Brown votes no, as does Olympia Snowe and Jon Tester. That just might sink it, officially.

And Ben Nelson and Mark Kirk to the no side too. All over but the shouting now.

Max Baucus votes no, Bob Bennett of Utah votes aye. Up is down, left is right, and Max Baucus’s status as a Stanford grad makes me all kinds of sad.

Jorge Ramos, para Univision, has a high schooler on set with him, crying. Yikes.

DREAM Act loses — 55:41. Yeah, you read that right.

And now the DADT vote. Joementum gets a free pass for today only — he has moved well on this.

And the Ancient Mariner calls it a “sad day.” His final argument — people in Bethesda and Walter Reed have no limbs. And McCain has no soul. Let’s get it on!

From what I can see on the floor — they haven’t announced it — we have Collins and Murkowski on the aye side. That’s good.

And Snowe to the aye side as well. This just might happen.

No Dems against yet. If his holds, we have cloture.

It’s a final: AYE 63:33 NO. DADT repeal is on track!

@Benedick: DADT never did apply to age. So you always had to fork over that info on demand. And, no, “39” is not an acceptable answer unless you actually are, in fact, 39.

Sorry McCranky pants. Your “What happens on the poop deck stays on the poop deck” trauma will have to be exorcised somewhere else.

@chicago bureau: Lieberman may have just taken himself out of contention for a threepeat of the Golden Anal Pear Award with his work on DADT.

So fucking pissed about the DREAM Act. Sign up for the Army and die, and maybe then we’ll posthumously give you U.S. citizenship.

@chicago bureau: Funny. No one believes I’m 39. I look too young.

NYT sez GOPers had threatened to not vote on the new nuclear nonproliferation treaty if DADT passes. Klassy, McCain.

McCain has to win the Golden Anal Pear this year.

@SanFranLefty: Actually, I think Corker was on that base first, in re junking START if the gheys get full-blown access to the military.

ADD: Joementum not getting the Anal Pear? Say it ain’t so!

@SanFranLefty: Don’t give Lieberman too much credit. He’s positioning himself for reelection.

@SanFranLefty: I just woke up. Are you guys kidding? That spineless sack of shit Harry Reid is going to get DADT repeal through the Senate?

@SanFranLefty: @chicago bureau: Joe is really fucking up his chances of a threepeat.

@Benedick: You’re 39? You do look young for that many decades.

@SanFranLefty: Never underestimate the contempt Our plutocracy has for the poor. Particularly the least among the poor. Or the brown among the poor…

@nojo: Fuck him. I don’t care if he single-handedly balanced the budget and brought an end to all wars ever, I will never forgive that traitorous rat-cancer prick. Never ever ever.

UPDATE: Final passage on DADT repeal at 1500 ET today. Grab yer neighbors! (Gently.)

@Dodgerblue: Noteworthy here is Lisa Murkowski. Wasn’t her vote ever a poke in the eye of Sarah Plain and Dumb? Player of the Day, in my mind.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Voting begins Monday! The judges have been surprisingly known to listen to a good argument.

@chicago bureau: I’ll pledge to ingnore her ugly record on global climate change and offshore oil drilling for 24 hours if she votes to repeal DADT.

@nojo: Can Fishtray be bought? What’s his price?

I would say, though, that Joe Lieberman must be nominated for Anal Pear this year. He is the reigning, defending, undefeated champion of the world in this regard. To be the best, you have to beat the best.

@chicago bureau: This is Murkowski’s token vote for the Democrats who voted for her to keep Miller out. Prediction: This is the last time she’ll stray from the GOP party line.

@chicago bureau: The judges do not condone open bidding for votes. The distribution of Swiss bank-account numbers is for informational purposes only.

This means homo flyers in cockpits playing with their joysticks. Tail gunner Joe takes on a whole new meaning. It won’t be PX any more it’ll be AX instead.

As a Republican I have a duty to trade in offensive and outmoded stereotypes.

Vote on final passage for DADT repeal now rolling.

Weird — Richard Burr votes aye, but voted no on cloture. Can’t figure it, except that once the dam breaks, it’s best to go with the flow. Huh.

Via Ana Marie Cox:

Saying that they had been “focused” on the vote, a senior White House aide intimately familiar with the administration’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal efforts was unwilling to say whether President Obama agrees with Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) and Senate Armed Services Committee chairman Carl Levin (D-Mich.) that DADT-releated investigations and discharges should be halted immediately.

As always, note the sourcing. But if this holds true, the judges may nominate their own candidate for Asshole of the Year.

And John Ensign voted aye too. What the hell?

And that does it — Sheldon Whitehouse makes it 51! Rhode Island AND Providence Plantations in the motherfucking house!

Who’s the dude walking around with what looks like a portable court recorder? Does he busk in the Rotunda between votes?

@nojo: That’d be the stenographer. Tough-ass job, taking notes when (prolly) he wants to punch a Senator in the throat.

@chicago bureau: But why a portable machine? Is he selling cigarettes?

Bob Corker votes aye too? I must have heard that wrong.

Anyway, DONE DEAL: AYE 65:31 NO.

@nojo: Some senators have a serious, terminal case of old. They may be whisperers, I guess.

@nojo: It’s portable because each reporter takes their equipment with them wherever they’re sent. Now that the stenotyping is recorded electronically, instead of on paper rolls, it makes the equipment much more easily transportable.

@JNOV: Sherryll died???!!

Note: As can be seen, I have my eyes on the prize.

@Benedick: Spike posted on Book of Faces that she died in the early morning hours today, from what was thought by the vet to be food poisoning.

@nojo: The Administration should fucking reinstate every soldier who was dishonorably discharged in the past 17 years, and give him/her the veterans’ benefits to which they are entitled.

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: Please let us know when Spike posts an interpretive death dance in tribute to Sherryl.

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: Poor kid. We had a dog die from septicemia. Very shocking.

@SanFranLefty: Gates has just issued what appears to be mealy-mouthed statement — I can’t find the original, just quoted excerpts — that doesn’t commit to immediate suspension.

Yes, “implementation” will take time. But could we at least stop screwing over soldiers in the meantime?

Bingo:

“It is therefore important that our men and women in uniform understand that while today’s historic vote means that this policy will change, the implementation and certification process will take an additional period of time.  In the meantime, the current law and policy will remain in effect.”

Mr. President, you’re up.

@SanFranLefty: Spike and Sheryll have a Christmas greeting from earlier in the month at the end of which Spike does a special dance wearing his special “Jew hat.”

But here’s Sheryll, as we first knew her.

@Benedick: I know. I’ve always found Spike sad rather than amusing, and to find out he has lost the one creature that loved him unconditionally breaks my heart.

@nojo: When Truman ended segregation in the military, was there some kind of transition period?

@Dodgerblue: Let’s check with the Truman Library

President Truman had been examining the issue of segregation in the armed forces since at least 1947, when he appointed the President’s Committee on Civil Rights. By January 1948, internal White House memos indicated that the President was determined to end military segregation by executive order. However, it was not until the delegates at the 1948 Democratic National Convention called for a liberal civil rights plank that included desegregation of the armed forces that Truman felt comfortable enough to issue Executive Order No. 9981 on July 26. The order stated that “It is hereby declared to be the policy of the President that there shall be equality of treatment and opportunity for all persons in the armed services without regard to race, color, religion, or national origin.” The order also established the President’s Committee on Equality of Treatment and opportunity in the Armed Services (Fahy Committee).

Naturally, there was resistance to this order within the military. Staff officers from all branches protested anonymously and sometimes even openly to integration. The Fahy Committee worked with the different branches of the military to ensure that the armed forces instituted integration in their recruitment and unit composition practices. Full integration did not come until the Korean War however, when heavy casualties forced segregated units to merge for survival.

Sounds like the executive order — the policy itself — was immediate, but working it through the system took time.

So: Suspend DADT now, tidy up later.

@nojo: Should be easier than in Truman’s time because gay and lesbian soldiers aren’t serving in dedicated units. Although I suppose a lot of the lesbians could be working in the motor pool [ducks flying wrench].

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: Jew hat. Is he a Mormon? With those moves I’m surprised he isn’t on Glee.

Poor Sherryll.

@Mistress Cynica: I know. You’re right. My heart has atrophied. I blame Musical Theatre. She is a harsh mistress. So was Sherryll. Poor kid.

@nojo: Sometimes there’s quite a bit of activity going on in the chamber and it’s easier for the reporter to walk toward the senator who has the floor than to get the rest of them to STFU.

TJ: OMG, TEH CUTENESS!

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: “Jew hat”! Are we sure Sheryll didn’t die of embarrassment?

@Benedick: Exactly! Sherryyll made Spike, dammit!

@Mistress Cynica: Yes. The Cult of Spike was more amusing, and some people seemed to really care about him rather than mock him. He continues to make videos despite the crap a lot of people give him. The fact that he’s still around makes me smile.

@karen marie doesn’t want to know: The Sexy Push? Oh, my.

Oh, and I got a card with no return address, no hand writing — just a label with my address. The envelope was stamped with “Jesus is the Reason for the Season.” Boy, my mom is tricky! The card inside told me to follow “His star” this year. Can’t return it to sender without a return address? Pfft. I’d just write hers on the envelope and send it back after I candled it to see if money was enclosed. ;-) Actually, I was curious — I received a secular card last year. This year – blond baby Jesus. She’s in full on provocation mode (years ago we agreed not to discuss religion). Yay, holidays!

I think I’ll send her a new stamp “Remember the reason for the season, or else you’re committing Jesus treason” and instructions on how to make her Jew Hat. She’d prefer a fur one, I’m sure.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Sherryyll was really a sweet doggie.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Awww. They are cute, but I really hate zoos. I give them a pass when they try to save endangered species and enrich the animals’ lives, but my earliest memories of The Nation’s First Prison Zoo are of the big cats in tiny cages pacing and pacing and pacing. Made me think of the Eastern State Penitentiary.

@Manchu, maybe you can do something with this:
Born free
As free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows…

Yeah, that movie always made me cry.

Blahblahblah.

/Weirder than usual because I’m on the worst antibiotic every invented by man. Been off it since Thursday and still feel like dying. Will punch tell my doctor next time I can reach her. Ho.

@Dodgerblue: @nojo: As of the ’90s, there was still a lot of resistance, especially toward Filipino and black service members. At one point, you could only be a cook or a corpsman unless you wanted to have no rating (i.e. job designation) and end up on a ship chipping paint. The rating policy was no longer in place when I was in, but I worked with lifers and retirees who joined under it. They must have joined in the mid to late ’50s or maybe the ’60s. We had Filipino engineers working as cooks. Don’t get me wrong — there’s nothing wrong with being a cook, but I think many people’s talents could have been put to better use if the military weren’t so racist.

And no matter what happens with DADT, it’s the people on the ground who are going to decide how to apply it. There are many GLBT service members. Many. Depending on the command, no one gives a shit unless you piss someone off, and then it’s used against you.

Again, the command matters, because some units have a culture where they abuse their shipmates if they even suspect them of being gay, and no one gives a shit. If the service member reports harassment or rape, often the NCO or CO doesn’t follow up. So what’s the point? You are labeled, ostracized, harassed even more, and if you’re enlisted, it’s not like you can just quit. You end up working side by side with your abuser(s) until you transfer out or your enlistment is up. And when you receive orders, someone from your old command always knows someone from your new one, so you can end up walking into another hell because your “reputation” proceeded your arrival.

Having just seen the Jon Stewart piece with the very sick survivors of 9/11 I feel humiliated that DADT sucked up all the oxygen over the past 2 weeks. Not that it shouldn’t have been passed but really. What kind of a fucktard is Obama that he didn’t come out both guns blazing for those people now dying who ran to the Trade Center to try to help?

@Benedick: I didn’t see Stewart, but I’ve seen snippets in the news. Snippets.

But I wouldn’t feel humiliated that DADT has received the attention it deserves. If the US can wage two wars, certainly the US can deal with more than one important issue that affects the nation. The problem is that DC idiots can’t see any further than their own interests and expediency to those ends. Assholes all around.

@SanFranLefty: A lot of Indians enlisted to fight in WWI, although we were not made citizens until 1924. Those who enlisted and fought were made eligible for citizenship by Congress in 1919. Even then, Indians couldn’t vote in Arizona and New Mexico until 1948.

My vet buddy (I was best man at his wedding; my job was to hold the flask with the single malt) is a resident alien who for some reason never applied for citizenship. Did two tours in Iraq, got shot once.

I hope the DREAM act failure fires up the Latino voting bloc in the country and that they go after the GOP. I’d like to see a little “Fuck me? Fuck YOU!” coming out of this.

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