Sarah Palin: America’s Pettiest Politician Since Richard Nixon

Our guest columnist spent Thanksgiving roasting a turkey:

My fellow Americans in all 57 states, the time has changed for come. With our country founded more than 20 centuries ago, we have much to celebrate – from the FBI’s 100 days to the reforms that bring greater inefficiencies to our health care system. We know that countries like Europe are willing to stand with us in our fight to halt the rise of privacy, and Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s. And let’s face it, everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma and they end up taking up a hospital bed. It costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early, and they got some treatment, and ah, a breathalyzer, or an inhalator. I mean, not a breathalyzer, ah, I don’t know what the term is in Austrian for that…

Of course, the paragraph above is based on a series of misstatements and verbal gaffes made by Barack Obama (I didn’t have enough time to do one for Joe Biden). YouTube links are provided just in case you doubt the accuracy of these all too human slips-of-the-tongue. If you can’t remember hearing about them, that’s because for the most part the media didn’t consider them newsworthy. I have no complaint about that. Everybody makes the occasional verbal gaffe — even news anchors.

The author aspires to control the FBI and CIA.

A Thanksgiving Message to All 57 States [Sarah Palin/Facebook]

We will always have North Korea, Talibunny.

@ManchuCandidate: That’s what she’s responding to.

And at heart, she’s right: The entire excerpt shows she was saying South-South-South, but slipped with North in that one line. I passed on it because it wasn’t as much fun as it purported to be.

In an earlier draft of this post, I linked to the Snopes account of the “57 states” gaffe:

Talking with reporters at a later campaign stop, Senator Obama expressed concern that he’d recently misstated both the number of potential victims of a recent cyclone in Burma and the number of states he’d visited, saying: “I hope I said 100 thousand people the first time instead of 100 million. I understand I said there were 57 states today. It’s a sign that my numeracy is getting a little, uh …”

That’s how you handle it: Charming, self-effacing humor.

I wouldn’t get all excited about her “norf/souf” goof, normally. Happens all the time.

Her reaction shows me that it has gotten under her skin big time. She can’t help but lash out at people and it ruins her day. That is fine with me.

/warning boring personal event/
I once had a very petty coworker. If I didn’t like my job or my other coworkers I would have left it long ago. The petty shit he pulled off used to piss me off to no end till a friend of mine suggested using zen. Being a pugnacious type, I said “HUH?” My friend was correct. The thing about petty people is that they’re, well, petty. It doesn’t take much to get under their skin. I suddenly realized how easy it was to ruin their day.

All it takes is a less than casual blow off or possibly snide comment to get them all worked up. Even make a joke about their cockups. I was skirting a very dangerous path as this petty coworker was a fav of the VP in charge of the division I was in, but I figured “I only live once.”

Drove him nuts for six months till the day I left. The last I heard (five years ago) he won’t even say my name because he thinks I am the devil incarnate. Heh.

@ManchuCandidate: Her reaction shows me that it has gotten under her skin big time.

Precisely. You have to imagine her going all wire-hanger on this, chasing down those dozen links, remembering all the minor Obama gaffes to know which ones to list. (“57 states” is in common circulation among wingnuts, but I’m not familiar with the rest.)

And then you remember the Wasilla Librarian’s story, the Tales of Todd in the governor’s office, her penchant for paranoid victimization…

I still don’t think she’s running, but she would be downright dangerous as Preznit, and not just for the obvious reasons. Nixon’s downfall was his own paranoia.

More from Caribou Barbie: Obama should have gone to ANWR for vacation.

Yeah, that makes sense. I always like to go to ass-cold spots of barren wilderness in the middle of nowhere for vacation. Bonus points if most of the residents have been brainwashed into believing I’m the Antichrist.

@nojo: At this point I’m just about ready to want her to be president. Just to see the overt shit-splosion.

Such an administration might be more honest in its mendacity, naked greed, empirical ambitions, wanton disregard for the biosphere, etc.

Not sure what we can Hope™ for, so I often find myself wondering if we shouldn’t just get it over with and proceed to cannibal anarchy.

Maybe the human survivors will recognize the value of local, sustainable, etc. And gather around campfires to sing Kum-By-Yah. Hah hah hah.

@nojo: She’s running. And do you seriously think that she chased down those links herself? Or even knew of them before Rove’s people tipped off her people and her ghostwriter ghostwrited it while she tried on skirts from the Saks sale but Todd said they made her ass look fat and there was like a major screaming match which ended with her pouring bleach on all his shirts and throwing his snowmobile out the window.

@Benedick: She’s running a business, yes.

Oh, you mean running for Preznit? Fat chance. Newt will declare before she does.

And ghostwritten? For the first time, I’m going to say no. Only because the image of her madly hunting down all those links is too delicious to resist.

The economy is on the rebound. That’s what matters. Growth.

The tumor grows.


Someone should introduce Sister Sarah to the wonderful world of Huffington Post comments, so that she can get busy personally replying to each one. She can have dibs on MamaGrizzley666 if it’s not already taken.

@nojo: I don’t believe it. I don’t think she knows how to turn on a computer. Her hackles rose, she wanted revenge, a means was found, she might have overseen it but I don’t think she actually put press-on nail to keyboard.

I think she’s most definitely running for president. But then, I am not schooled in the ways of the Yanqui. I thought that once you got elected you were supposed to govern. I didn’t realize that the campaign never ends.

That’s based on the assumption Simple Sarah will do what’s best.

I have to agree with Benedick.

She is going to run. The leaked emails from Todd during “L’affaire du Joe” showed that she supported “Thug Life” in return for his support for Preznit despite the fact that “Thug Life” wasn’t willing to give that because even he knew better.

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