Fox News Calls It Quits, Merges with The Onion

Above: This morning’s headline on the Fox Nation website.

Below: The updated story, after readers took it seriously. Enjoy the comments!

Frustrated Obama Sends Nation Rambling 75,000-Word E-Mail [Fox] Reposts Anti-Obama Article From The Onion, Doesn’t Mention It’s A Joke [Mediaite]

Update: Fox gives up, yanks the post. Spoilsports!


@karen marie wants to know — Fucking integrity, how does it work?: Well, darn. I should have copped some comments, but I figured after they revised the headline, they’d leave the post up.

I rarely fling the word ‘stupid’ around, preferring ‘ignorant’, but these assholes are seriously stupid.

This to me is very hilarious. It’s not like when it happened to Xinhua (China’s version of Pravda) where there were language and cultural mistranslation. Faux’s only language IS ENGLISH!!!

Ah, who knows what’s real news anymore. I give this a pass, most US Americans won’t know the difference even after you point it out to them.

(Just suffered through a T-Day dinner where one of my relatives boasted proudly about not caring for the environment. As in, he willfully trashes it just because he thinks God gave him the right, no, the commandment, to use up every resource as soon as possible while producing as much toxic waste as a DOW chemical factory.)

@PedonatorUSA: Americans suffer from an ignorance that is not only colossal, but sacred.

James Baldwin

@Benedick: It is the sanctity that scares me. And the sense of US American entitlement, that their oil is ours.

@Benedick: Sacred ignorance seems to be the status quo…proud prognostications of ignorance. Proudly proclaiming their only source of information is FOX news.

What can one say to that?

@redmanlaw: @SanFranLefty: Thanks, y’all! Only slightly disappointed that I didn’t merit more than a glance from the TSA gals and goons. But they kept my bag overnight in Chicago, so there’s that.

Some random, thread-jacky thoughts:

1. Tourists in NotTibet are generally in good shape; I’d almost forgotten what a lard bucket the typical US American was.

2. The new Apple promo for the Beatles on iTunes would be totally awesome if: (a) they didn’t use the same limited stock photos in all of them, and (b) the tag line didn’t needlessly refer to them as “the band”.

@Benedick: What a wonderful quotation! Can you tell me where it appeared first?

At Thanksgiving dinner met a new person, an older woman from Colorado. Since she was with relatives of hers in whom I have never discerned right-wing leanings, I misconstrued an observation of hers about the changes that have occurred in her small town and its rural surroundings as an opening for me to air my dismay about the systematic extraction of money from those of us who are not wealthy to further enrich already wealthy corporations and individuals. Big mistake! I am left to hope I never see her again, which I probably will not, and to hope uncharitably that she feels as bad about what she said and the venom she expressed as I do. That’ll larn me to talk politics at dinner (well, really it was after dinner).

@Nabisco: Agree re lardbuckets. Go into a 7-11 and take a look at what they have on the shelves.

Welcome home, btw.

@lynnlightfoot: Don’t know where it’s from. I was attracted by the thought and the elegance of its expression. BTW, the town, was it Colorado Springs?

@Nabisco: Welcome home. Nothing’s changed.

@Benedick: No, not Colorado Springs. Burlington, which she said was in eastern Colorado, so heart of the heart of the heartless heartland, like my own dear Hoosier state, yuck.

@Benedick: Nothing’s changed.

Except the Hopey sweatshirts were only ten bucks in DC, so I bought two.

@Nabisco: Is it not brave to be a king,
And ride in triumph through Persepolis?


To be a king is half to be a god.

A god is not so glorious as a king:
I think the pleasure they enjoy in heaven,
Cannot compare with kingly joys in earth;–
To wear a crown enchas’d with pearl and gold,
Whose virtues carry with it life and death;
To ask and have, command and be obey’d;
When looks breed love, with looks to gain the prize,–
Such power attractive shines in princes’ eyes.


From jigging veins of rhyming mother-wits,
And such conceits as clownage keeps in pay,
We’ll lead you to the stately tent of war,
Where you shall hear the Scythian Tamburlaine
Threatening the world with high astounding terms,
And scourging kingdoms with his conquering sword.
View but his picture in this tragic glass,
And then applaud his fortunes as you please.

TJ/ Operation Don’t Piss Off Dysfunctional Family Patriarch seemed successful until follow up call with Pissed Off Dysfunctional Family Patriarch. Time to take deep breaths, meditate and relax.

I swear. He knows better than to act up around my kid when I’m there, but damn if he doesn’t have a laundry list of non-issues to bitch about to me later.

Jr showed DFP his portfolio and described the assignment and technique used in each piece

Phone call

DFP: I would have liked a sentence or two about the other classes he’s taking.

Me: He’s taking…

DFP: I know what he’s taking.

Me: You asked open-ended questions, so he focused on midterms and his grades [what he expects you want to hear because it’s always what you focus on]. If you want to have a conversation with him about his classes… [thinking to myself the kid is not clairvoyant]

DFP: I don’t want you to interpret for him. I’m not going to talk about this with you. I’m going now.

Me: Bye. ::click::

Can’t wait ’till Xmas.

@JNOV: Reason #9,999 not to bother with Dysfunctional Family. I just refuse to have relationships with people who do nothing but make me miserable. Life is way too short.
I try to understand why people want to keep in contact, just because they’re “family,” but it’s beyond my heartless ability to do so.

@Mistress Cynica: Right! I’m all about avoidance from here on out.

My youngest brother the plumber came to TG dinner and I took him up on his offer to help me get firewood today. We had an awesome trip with Son of RML to my new hot spot. Enjoying fruits of my labors now with Mrs RML and a glass of Oregon pee-noh.

We just got back from seeing a bunch of old journalism buddies down in the the big city. A woman we know is leaving the US with her daughter to become an AP photo editor in Mexico City. The host told me about a mutual friend, an anthropologist who was on one of the human terrain teams in Afghanistan, who got all fucked up by an IED. Another friend, who did the cover for the current American Archeologist, said her son’s marriage is so bad he’d rather be in south central Afghanistan amongst the Taliban, He’s been there five times so far.

Gittar TJ/ Jeff Beck does what he does best. Who cares if Apple bought the Beatles catalog when we’ve got covers like this?

ADD: perfect mix of clean and dirrrrrty!

@JNOV: Guitar Player magazine this month: “Ten Essential Metal Licks.” And a Mop Top on the cover. It’s on my desk now.

@redmanlaw: Tony Iommi? The online version keeps showing me Dweezil. ETA: No Beatle anywhere.

@JNOV: Got it on the news stand. Perhaps the online is behind.

@redmanlaw: I’ll check it out. I still haven’t replaced my broken string or found a decent amp. Or a job. Priorities!

@redmanlaw: I listened to outtakes from “All Things Must Pass” on one of my flights home. George had a gentle kind of shred to him, except when it was like really Clapton or somebody.

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