Gentlemen Prefer Zombies

“Sarah Palin lost almost half of her premiere audience in the second airing of her TLC reality series Sarah Palin’s Alaska. On Sunday, the series executive produced by Mark Burnett, drew 3 million viewers. That is down 40% from the 5 million who tuned in for the debut last Sunday… Meanwhile, AMC’s zombie drama The Walking Dead (4.8 million), continued to hold steady, down 5% from the previous week in total viewers.” []


The undead are also smarter than Palin.


Sunday’s episode was incredibly weak and predictable — maybe because of the writer(s)/director change. It pretty much sucked.

Problem #1: No one gives a rat’s ass about Murrulllll or what happened to Murrrulll and everyone KNEW what Murrrrulll was gonna do when dude accidentally dropped those tools on the roof.

Problem #2: The supposed plot twist was just a waste of time and boring filler.

Problem #3: If some dude is digging a shit ton of holes or whatever in the dirt, digging in the hotass sun, and if those holes or whatever aren’t plainly shown, and then hole-digging dude says he had some dream he can’t quite remember, uh, yeah, those holes are probably graves. Oh, wow! He was digging graves! In a stupor! And he had a dream. And, whaddayaknow — the zombies came and ate entrails! No shit, Sherlock.

Boring, boring, boring.

I’m going to stick with it this season just because. But I’m gonna be really pissed if they opt for some hocus pocus woo instead of going for the good old scientists run amok or gov’t conspiracy explanations. Better yet, who fucking cares from whence the zombies come? We don’t need to know.

Right now it’s all about survival, and we don’t need no stinkin’ woo.

@JNOV: Snaps of Carbon Offset Willow in sand box.

@JNOV: That’s why I usually wait for the second season of a show, when the buzz settles down one way or another. Easier to just Netflix the whole thing.

Then again, I did cheat Sunday and made a marathon of it. And since it’s a short season (only three left!), what the hell, might as well stick it out.

@Benedick: Yay! On my way! Thank you so much!


@nojo: I think there are only two eps left, but I could be wrong. I’m going to be beyond pissed when Murrulll comes back, especially if he’s had some sort of attitude change for the better. Now, if Murrulll reappears as Racist Vengeful Smart Zombie, that would be cool. If Murrrrullll was behind the latest attack, that would be very cool.

If The Hero’s Wife ends up with child possibly belonging to The Hero’s Best Friend, Imma be pissed. Am I the only person on the planet with an IUD? That IUD is gonna come in really handy during Cannibal Anarchy and the End Times. I’m thinking ahead. Such as.

@JNOV: I was watching the expenditure of ammo when the [spoilers] showed up and [spoilered] all those people. The survivors either have an immense supply of 12 ga shotgun shells and other ammo on hand, or someone has reloading supplies for both shotgun and centerfire rifle and pistol in all the various calibers they use, which requires storage, workspace and supplies. They are going to have to pick up more ammo/reloading supplies pretty quick at the rate they’re going.,_The

Also, them chicks who was fly fishing from the canoe were neither trolling, nor jigging, nor stripping line to add motion to their lures or flies to catch all that delicious bass.

Aaaaand – washing clothes in the quarry pond. Is that their drinking water supply also? If so, bad move.

Speaking of staggering monsters who refuse to die, check this bit out. I happened to run across the Rehyansky piece after the (now-deleted) final line was trimmed off – really takes it to a whole ‘nother level.


The Gun Issue: Okay, this is what I’ve gathered from what we’ve seen so far. Recap: The Hero, His Best Friend (THBF), the kid and wife are from a smallish town in Kentucky. When The Hero had the Second Worst Coma Awakening Ever (the worst first seen in 28 Days Later), he eventually cleaned out the weapons stored in The Smallish KY Town Sheriff’s Dept (TSKTSD). We don’t know if THBF took some guns, too or ran like hell. We do know that The Wife had time to pack photos from the wall, etc., so THBF is a true dumbass if he didn’t take weapons from TSKTSD. But he is a bit of a dumbass. Maybe he didn’t take anything.

Another thing to keep in mind is that we’ve got people converging on the CDC. The ones who are closest and have the best odds of making it through zombie mayhem are Southerners. Murrrulll and his dumbass crossbow toting brother are probably not the only ones who have a personal armory. I like how Murrrulll Bro retrieves all his arrows.

Another thing people do in these types of situations is scavenge. So, you’re on your way to the CDC and you run across discarded weapons or ammo OR you pass through a town with a Wal-Mart or whatever, you’re dumb if you don’t try to raid it for weapons and ammo before you keep going. My thinking is that if they’ve survived this long, they’ve faced the ammo issue before. AND guns bring zombies, so they’re not going to use firearms unless they’re in a zombie scrum.

The Fishing Issue: I’ve got no explanation for it. The fishing thing was dumb. The conversation while fishing was dumb. The amount of fish they caught was ridiculous. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. I hope the other sister decides to join her soon-to-be zombified sibling in the ranks of the undead soon.

I really don’t like most of the actors. I can’t stand that chick from Prison Break, and I hope she dies soon. But she won’t. The Hero does a decent job when his English accent doesn’t break through his KY accent. I LOVE the guy who plays Glenn (this link is for Tommcatt), but Glenn is starting to suffer from poor writing.

But seriously — an unrealistic zombie show? Boo! ;-)

@JNOV: Georgia, not Kentucky (hence the proximity to Atlanta).

@mellbell: Then they changed it from the graphic novel DERP comic book.

ADD: I accidentally started reading the Wiki for the comic instead of the entry for the show, and, like a dumbass, I kept reading even when I realized I was reading the wrong thing. I hit a spoiler maybe three paragraphs in, and I was like, “Ugh.” Not a bad ugh but like an annoyed with myself ugh. I haven’t read more, but I’m tempted.

ADD: Interesting — a lot of the spoilers have been deleted from Wiki. The history of changes is nuts, and I bet they’ll lock the page soon.

@JNOV: Would’ve been cool if they’d kept it in Kentucky.

@mellbell: I agree. I wonder why they decided to change it. Maybe to get him to Atlanta faster? I was surprised by how quickly he found his family, but I’d probably be complaining if the whole series was about him searching for them.

The thing I’m kind of happy about is that the main spoiler I read (I won’t tell) is gone. Now I’m wondering if that spoiler wasn’t true. The Wiki Guardian Angels must be having some sort of war in heaven over what stays and goes on the page, and I wonder if they’re looking out for dumbasses like me who stumble upon the wrong page and can’t help but read it. I doubt it, though. Wiki rep comes above all.

@redmanlaw: Man. Are you linking me to Spike TV? I’ll click through…

@redmanlaw: BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL, that’s fookin’ AWESOME! I don’t know why I haven’t watched that movie. Off to see if it’s streaming on Netflix!

ADD: Nope. Boo!

Ah. Has anyone seen Following? It was directed by Christopher Nolan who directed, inter alia, The Dark Knight, Batman Begins, Memento and (SHOCKER!) Inception. I still loved Inception, FWIW.

@redmanlaw: Oh, holy hell. There’s an internet movie firearms database. Something about me likes it. That could be a real time sink.

@JNOV: That’s “Hot Fuzz” with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. They also did “Shaun of the Dead,” a totally awesome zombie movie. Their movie “Paul” about an alien they meet in New Mexico on the way to ComiCon comes out next spring.

Bristol loses! Happy Thanksgiving!

@nojo: Did she get a turkey baster as a consolation prize?

@redmanlaw: OMG! I love Nick Frost! He was in Spaced and Hyper Drive, two very funny Britcoms.

@nojo: Yay!

@redmanlaw: I recognized them. Shaun of the Dead is one of my favorites, and I’ve been meaning to watch Hot Fuzz, but I’d heard it was kinda meh. My favorite scene in SotD is when they’re debating which records to use as ineffective weapons.

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