We Still Seek Funding to Test the Moose

The best part is the blurb under the headline: “The research could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys.”

Clearly a Science writer who gave up gving a shit about his work a long time ago.

That said, I do recall that experiments on advanced methods of enraging monkeys haven’t always produced the desired results.

this was posted in our newsgroups this morning.
the best part is that there is an occupation “monkey annoyance expert”.

@Capt Howdy: The shit hits the fan every day at the Advanced Monkey Annoyance Testing Facility.

I initially read that as Moose hate Flying Squirrels…

For a moment there I thought Bullwinke and Rocky were no more.

Just a quasi dyslexic moment.

@Capt Howdy: That’s what got me. Someone has a job as a Monkey Annoyance Expert? Hot damn! The world isn’t as far gone as I’d feared.

@IanJ:

and I thought this guy had my dream job

what they didnt tell you is that mooses also hate flying squirrels.

but no one wants to annoy a moose.

TJ: Breaking Hard: Bristol Palin has called off her engagement to Levi after a different ex of his (not Lanesia, the one he might have knocked up) named, I shit thee not, Briana Plum, posted photos of herself with Levi on Facebook that made Bristol mad.

Does the entire Palin family have the attention span of a flea?

@SanFranLefty:

Briana Plum sounds made up. but then so does the whole damn family.

@SanFranLefty: Levi gets around, eh?

@Dodgerblue: All the more impressive given the skewed male to female ratio in Alaska. A female friend of a friend who worked in Fairbanks said the mantra of heterosexual women is “The odds are good but the goods are odd.”

@SanFranLefty: Well, he’s a handsome lad who, at one time, had a real job.

Pissing off Japanese monkeys? Are these people serious?

@SanFranLefty: Ha hahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahhahahahhahaha!!!!!

Hahahhahahahhahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhaha.

Briana Plum. Bitch, please. Who’s next? Xanax Sweetcheeks? Still, goes to show how good mothering can set a girl on the right path to a fulfilling, useful life.

@SanFranLefty: Just so I’m clear…

Ex #1 just insisted Levi didn’t share his Johnston with her.

But this is New! Improved! Ex #2, whom we haven’t been introduced to yet.

Levi: Doooooood.

The good news: If the wedding’s off, Levi has dish to spill again.

He also has spill to dish, but that’s another story.

@nojo: He’s cutting a wide swathe, which is fine for a young man, but perhaps we should send him this link.

@Dodgerblue:

Or just a one line email:

DUDE, WEAR A BAG!

Seriously.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Speaking of spills, the WaPo now reports that the BP well has gushed 4.9 million barrels, which is roughly 20 times the size of the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989.

@SanFranLefty: It was Miss Plum in the billiard room with a lead pipe.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Ha ha ha. Though ‘billiard room’ seems a touch fancy. Maybe the mud room? Back porch? Garage?

@Benedick: Outhouse?

@IanJ:

Am I the only one who thought of this on reading the headline?

The State – Monkey Torture

Barry Lutz: Dr. Crank, in your many years of primate research, you’ve developed…

Dr. Crank: Uh, research is such a restrictive term. I feel I’ve opened up a whole new arena of experimentation which I call “Monkey Torture”.

@ManchuCandidate:

Rocky and Bullwinkle 4eva. But this does beg the question, what do flying monkeys think of flying squirrels?

@Serolf Divad: My first thought, too.

@nojo: I was so looking for a clip from Cooley High.

@Benedick: I thought we were going to keep my Superhero Identity a secret!

@Dodgerblue: Nothing gets between me and my Levi.

@Dodgerblue: That still seems like a conservative estimate(?)

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Ahem. Please see above.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: ::SNORT::

@Walking Still: Or flying foxes? ::ponders::

Nothing annoys a monkey more than being punched in the face.

If you give a Moose a Muffin…

@Walking Still:
also begs the question, what does the wicked witch of the west think of flying squirrels?
1) tried them first, annoying moose comes along, won’t fly, eats like a moose
2) doesn’t want to get on the wrong side of mr. peabody and sherman
3) sequel?

Do coked up stimulus monkeys hallucinate flying squirrels?

Sharon Angle would know.

Better link:
Do coked up stimulus monkeys hallucinate flying squirrels?

Sharon Angle would know.

@Dodgerblue: Levi is cute (in many senses), there’s no denying it!