We Report, You Revolt

“A California man, whose mother said he was upset about Congress’ ‘left-wing agenda,’ allegedly opened fire on police officers during a traffic stop in Oakland early Sunday morning.” [TPM]

29 Comments

TJ: Confirming what we all suspected – Dick Cheney lacks a pulse and has an artificial heart.

The pumps are partial artificial hearts known as ventricular assist devices, and they come in various models. Mr. Cheney’s kind is about the size of a D battery and leaves most recipients without a pulse because it pushes blood continuously instead of mimicking the heart’s own pulsatile beat. Most such pulse-less patients feel nothing unusual. But they are urged to wear bracelets or other identifications to alert emergency room doctors as to why they have no pulse.

Just what we need. Cyborg Power Dick Cheney.

I miss the days when pathetic 45 years olds who lived with their mothers only terrorized people on the internet.

@Capt Howdy: I’m just glad the CHP got him where they did on 580. Another 10 minutes and he would have been on the Bay Bridge to Ess Eff, no doubt to go shoot some gheyz and liberals.

got one of those “if you only see one movie this year it must be this one” emails from a friend in Manhattan this weekend.

Valhalla Rising

it was showing in one theater in america this weekend. in NYC.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, I didn’t include details here, but he was loaded for bear: fully armed, wearing body armor. CHP diverted something that was likely to get really ugly.

Just implementing his 2nd amendment remedies – to echo wannabe Sen. “Hard-Right” Angle.

@SanFranLefty:

As others have observed, we have to pray to the FSM that Darth Cheney hangs on until 12:01 am, January 1, 2011, since there’s no DEATH TAX in 2010.

We can’t have his horrid heirs benefitting too much from his life of crime.

@nojo: One gun blog I read regularly will sniff “unpossible – felons are not supposed to have guns.”

I should post a pic at da club of what the inside of my truck looks like when I go to the range.

@Original Andrew: Dude, you know he’ll ask to be smothered with his pillow when they go see him at Thanksgiving.

BTW, note that the cops shot right through Goober’s body armor, most of which which can stop only pistol caliber rounds. Some body armor using steel or ceramic inserts can stop a round from a high powered rifle, but the wearer would still be subject to blunt force trauma on the order of 2285 foot pounds of energy (.308 Winchester/7.62 x 51 at 100 yards). Ouch.

@Original Andrew:
thats why Steinbrenner rolled over you know.

Apparently, this guy has a long string of crimes. I thought he’d be happy because the Demrats are supposed to be “soft” on crime, especially the violent crimes he likes to do. Unlike GOPers who are soft on crime when rich white guys do it.

his mom sounds nice

Janice Williams said she kept the guns, which were locked in safe, because “eventually, I think we’re going to be caught up in a revolution.”

“would you boys like some hot pockets with target practice?”

Obviously, this guy comes from a family of geniuses. Here’s what Mom said to the press:

“I have no doubt it is him,” Williams said. “He’s been upset with the direction the country is going. … He feels the people of this country are being raped by our government and politicians.”
Janice Williams said she kept the guns, which were locked in safe, because “eventually, I think we’re going to be caught up in a revolution.” She also told the Chronicle that she had warned Byron that “he didn’t have to be on the front lines.”

@ManchuCandidate: Oh yes, about those felonies:

She said he has two prior felony convictions, one for a bank robbery two years ago. California has a three-strike law, meaning someone convicted of a third felony could get up to a life sentence. One news station reports that Byron Williams has a long arrest record, including assault, property destruction, a DUI, hit and run and theft. Another news story says Williams was arrested for a bank robbery in 2002. According to a Modesto Bee story from that time, one Byron Christopher Williams tried to rob a bank in Chowchilla wearing a blond wig, only to be laughed out of the branch by customers. He then allegedly robbed another bank and led police on a 100-mile-an-hour, hour long chase.

@Mistress Cynica:
too bad about the aborted wig robbery. it sound like it would have made a classic smokinggun mug shot.

@redmanlaw: you know he’ll ask to be smothered with his pillow when they go see him at Thanksgiving.

“I want to be a goddess.”

I’ll let that line hang there without attribution for awhile.

@nojo: What is it with these metal chicks with wing tatoos on their shoulder blades? No, you’re not a fallen angel. Most interesting tat: Something in Hebrew running down some girl’s spinal column.

Actually, the worst ink I’ve seen recently even at the weekend metal fest was on a mom at Son of RML’s robot building camp today with a shitty looking Pink Floyd DSOTM prism and a Batman bat on her shoulders. Looked like she got them in juvie 25 years ago.

@Mistress Cynica and Capt Howdy: Not to mention he attempted to rob a bank in Chowchilla, which has as its primary source of employment the state prisons – there were probably seven off-duty prison guards in the bank at the time.

@redmanlaw: I saw a girl the other day with wing tattoos just above her ankles. They were probably meant to evoke winged sandals, but, well, not so much.

@SanFranLefty: @IanJ: He’s actually uniquely vulnerable right now. Chest compressions or simple friggin water are big trouble for people with VADs. No need to resort to silver bullets or wooden stakes.

@flippin eck:
I read he has to carry a card saying something like “even if I dont have a pulse I am not dead”

seems perfect somehow.

I’m confused – we were just told that all felons vote for Democrats. WTF? :)

On a related note, what a pathetic little teabagger; stealing guns from his MOM? Really? Right up there with the Huatree guy whose mother took his guns and wouldn’t give them back…

@redmanlaw: I know someone who has a huge butterfly tat across her whole back. I’ve never seen the whole thing, but what I’ve seen looks very pretty. Must have taken forever to get done.

@Capt Howdy: I have no sound on the office machine but I can tell there is way too much dialog if the producer wants to capture the teabagger audience.

@flippin eck: Tell me more. Would a squirt gun do it? Or would someone need to show up with a full bucket?

@FlyingChainSaw: Immersion. Unplugging. Lots of vulnerabilities…not that I’m in any way advocating the termination of a former VPOTUS, of course. *looking over shoulder*

@Capt Howdy: In his case it should read, “Even if I don’t have a soul, I am not dead.”

@flippin eck:

It’s OK–that model turned out to be totally deranged anyway.

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