It Was a Dark and Thinly Disguised Roman à Clef
The 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winner for worst first line: “For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss — a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.”
Oh, the worst line. Thanks be to Chakra Khan™.
Button TJ revisted/ May we please have a Chakra Khan™ button?
@JNOV: No you may not. The gag gets diluted with extra sounds. You can have the occasional Guest Button, but that’s it.
@nojo: ::whispers:: okay, although i think an occasionally-updated biden gaffe button would be nice…
I’m a chick. What do I know about comedy? ;-P
For a minute, I thought this was the opening line of a future Sanford tell-all book. :)
@JNOV: noje is touchy about his buttons.
@Benedick: You have to be gentle with them, respect them, and not press them too hard or push them too often. A silver tongue, a listening ear and a willingness to engage is sometimes all one needs to open up the heart and mind of another. A little attention, patience and compassion may make them feel safe enough to allow themselves to surrender to the will of one with the magic touch. It’s a scary place, but only once one has surrendered control over the magic buttons will one truly know what it is to be free.
@JNOV: Also, grease.
@JNOV:
Why does that make me go “ick”?
@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: That must be a first.
Hey, it’s Fucking Canada Day. Happy Fucking Canada Day.
@Benedick:
Why whatever do you mean?
@RML: doesnt that mean more Canadians in 9 months?
@redmanlaw: I thought that was Fucking Canada Eh.
Black Metal Babysitting
http://www.metalinjection.net/tv/view/5165/black-metal-babysitting
Now this is a perfect example of the kind of story that makes NPR so great. You can always count on NPR to spend hours on the Bulwer-Lytton contest, stuttering and murmering and laughing politely. Good times.
@Nojo: What ever happened to Selections from the New York/London Review of Books classifieds Too hard to write new material, or too Spy? I just enjoyed going back in time a bit.
TJ/ was at an outdoor fleamarket today over Here. Did you know that an old copy of “Joe’s Garage” goes for 30 friggin euros over here? I could have unloaded my entire Yes collection and paid for a week in the great hotel we found in Barca.
@Nabisco:
1. Insufficient interesting entries.
2. I canceled NYRB/LRB to pay for the iPad.
3. You’re plooking too hard.
@nojo: I love the NYROB personal ads. I always read them first, aloud if my wife is in earshot.
@nojo: You have an iPad and a new iPhone. Now you want payola? Oh…
@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Harumph. I’m working on my Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest entry.
@JNOV: Oh, right, FTC requirement…
Apple, Inc. is not paying me to pitch all their wonderful and expensive iGadgets. But I’m happy with the business deductions.
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
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