The Art of The Kiss Yer Ass Goodbye, We’re All Going To Hell

Golly, our headline writer’s cranky this afternoon!

Full surrender wasn’t the only option, it’s just the only one they considered.

Jello-spined Defeatocrats: Now in cherry flavor!

“We believe we have compromised significantly, and we’re prepared to compromise further,” (Senator John) Kerry said [“In order to produce yet another ultimately meaningless bill, with zero Retreadican votes, that will accomplish absolutely nothing.”]

Well I asked for a dick joke and the universe gave me John Kerry (ba-dum ching!)

Earth to John Kerry, even Lady GaGa has a more convincing Poker Face.

“Stop or I’ll beg you to compromise again!”

It’s incredible what the Retreadicans can accomplish with a 41/58 majority. Yes they can!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I’m spent.

Days like this make me glad I didn’t have kids.

We need a Quitter Button or a Fuck Me Sideways Button to go with the Rim Job and Vulvazilla buttons. What noise do quitters make? “Awwww, man!” doesn’t seem quite right. Maybe we need a Boo Button, so when Congress or the administration or anyone one, even us, does something boo-worthy, we can boo them. Yes, I think we need a Boo Button. The operative phrase is: I BOO YOU! and then we know that someone has hit the button.

Ambition will be punished.

@JNOV: I found a Quitter button somewhere else. This afternoon I took myself off the Democratic Party email list after yet another request for a donation. The reason I gave is that the Clintons and Obama have actively campaigned against progressive Democratic candidates running for Senate seats in Connecticut and Arkansas. My small donations won’t be a loss to the party but who can stomach giving any financial support to Lieberman and Lincoln?

@SanFranLefty: That was another gag from the True Blood pilot: “ANGELINA ADOPTS VAMPIRE BABY!”

@SanFranLefty: I know, right? And to those kids who are lucky enough to be growing up right now: sorry, little dudes. You’re fucked.

@nojo:

I’m absolutely adoring Pam.

@Original Andrew: Well, I just finally sampled it, and now I have two seasons to catch up. Don’t tell me who morphs into a dog.

@nojo:

About three episodes in, you’ll really get hooked. I watched Season 1 the week before Season 2 came out. Season 3 just started, so lemme know anytime you wanna gossip about Bill & Sookie.

One thing that’s interesting is that the series play like one long movie, with each episode cliffhanging into the next, kinda like Battlestar, so while two years-ish have passed for us since Season 1, it’s only been like three months in the lives of the characters on the show.

P.S. I also love Lafayette.

@Original Andrew: Now I understand why Sookie has 10 percent of the Amazon Top 100 in any given week.

@IanJ: Maybe the bad times I’ve seen in my mind’s eye since I was a kid will indeed come some day. I was originally not inclined to have kids because of that but Mrs RML felt otherwise. Now that he’s with us, we have a duty to make him smart, productive and able to take care of himself. Making fires, map reading, building stuff, and catching fish are all as important as algebra.

A colleague of mine sent me this “scale back” quote this morning and I started ranting. Scale back from what? From a timid request to a full-panic, arm-flapping retreat? Bring back fucking Harry Truman.

@Dave H: Thank YOU! I quit that bullshit after the DOMA memo. Fuckers.

TJ/ So, Guitar Dude on the Bus with the Bike (GDotBwtB) update. I waited until this afternoon to give him a call. My call went to voicemail. The voicemail greeting was so garbled, I didn’t know if I’d called the right number or if I couldn’t understand his NC accent or if he was too lazy to listen to his message after he recorded it or what, so I did the dick move, and I hung up.

::ring a ling:: Goes my phone a little later.

GDotBwtB: Hi. This is GDotBwtB. Did someone from this number call me?

JNOV: Yes, I did. It’s JNOV.

GDotBwtB: Who?

JNOV: JNOV from the bus.

GDotBwtB: Who?

JNOV: JNOV from the bus — we talked a couple of times.

GDotBwtB: OH! JNOV! How are you? I just rode my bike from [hell to the music store], and I’ve got a lesson in a few.

JNOV: Okay. Why don’t you call me later?

GDotBwtB: Well, I have band practice tonight. I play with [some] Gospel [band] right now…

JNOV: ::thinks:: Oh, shit. ::says:: What time is practice over?

GDotBwtB: Ten, ten thirty.

JNOV: Fine. Why don’t you call me then?

GDotBwtB: But it will be late.

JNOV: That’s fine. I’ll be up, if not, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

GDotBwtB: [unintelligible protesting of some sort]

JNOV: Call me later. Bye.

GDotBwtB: [more protesting of some sort] Bye.

~Fast-forward three hours~

GDotBwtB: [phone message] I canceled band practice tonight. Would you like to go to dinner tonight?

JNOV: ::thinks:: SLOW DOWN

GDotBwtB: We don’t have a gig for [some unmemorable amount of time], so I asked for the night off. Please give me a call. My number is [the number I already have]. I have another lesson, and my reception in the studio is bad, so try me [whenever — I forgot].

~fast forward one hour~

I swing by the music store to pick up a guitar string. Store’s closed, but I know he’s in the studio, so I call him.

GDotBwtB’s voicemail greeting: garblegarblegarblegarble.

I don’t have time for that nonsense, so I hang up. I was hoping he’d let me in the store to get a string.

Fin

Meh. I want to ask him where the fire is, but I think the fire is in his pants. Gospel? Ugh. I’ve had enough of that, fuck you very much. I checked him out on the music store’s shop — he’s been with a label and other bands, blah blah blah. Lessons are ridiculously inexpensive, but he really needs to do something about that phone greeting. And he needs to slow the hell down. I am not in the mood to get ready for dinner at 8 pm. Plus, I want to go into the city and not out here in the hinterlands. Nowhere expensive — just a nice bar/restaurant with a good beer selection, decent food and something to do like darts or pool. Meh. GDotBwtB is a little too enthusiastic and doesn’t seem to realize I’m low brow, and I like it that way.

Just figured out that today is the one year anniversary of my unemployment.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: :-(

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yikes. I wish I could buy you a drink, babe.

@JNOV:

Hop on that and ride. Did I mention that he should pay for everything?

ADD: Look, honey, what do you want, somebody that thinks you are awesome and is blowing it because he’s over-anxious? Or some guy that will play games for days at a time that you have to fret over? It’s easy to say “I like you but let’s go slow”, right?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ:

Will it help to know that my job is killing me, spiritually and physically?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Not really, but I appreciate the effort.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Oh, we’re over here? Sorry. He’s just pushing me out of my comfort zone. I haven’t dated since 2002. 2002. Hear me? 2002. And it wasn’t even really dating. I like to do stuff with people; I don’t like to sit around chit chatting over miniature food. On special occasions? Sure. First date? Not so much.

@JNOV: Perhaps the “waah-waah-waah” sound when you blow it on a game show?

@Mistress Cynica: Yes! The Debbie Downer noise. That’s really depressing.

You know like when the fix is in, in a boxing match, and the guy who has agreed to go down, he puts up a little bit of a show, but then, at the merest touch of a punch, he dives for the canvas?

All of Obama’s “fights” are starting to look fixed. He dives for the mat and waits out the 10-count as soon as the republicans look at him.

And its not like it matters.

He pre-compromises all his proposals, so as to be able to be all “look how reasonable I am” right from the beginning, and despite that he gave away 90% of the meat on the table before he even started negotiating, the GOP puts up an all out screaming “its socialism, the end of our Glorious Republic,” no compromise shit, so Obama gives up 90% of the 10% left on the table, and then, the GOP votes against it across the board anyway.

How many times does this have to happen before someone who is really, honestly trying, gets the fucking plot?

Unless its been fixed, and he is committed to taking the dive from the get go. Thats starting to look like the only plausible explanation for the stupidity of Obama’s “negotiating” strategy. Its more like a capitulation strategy, make just enough noise to make the fight look plausible.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I’m real sorry to hear that. I was wondering if you’d found something yet.

@Dave H: Thanks for sharing. I think I’ll follow your example.