South Carolina Douchebag Derby Update

Fearing that Arizona was stealing the spotlight as The Most Batshit State in the Nation (Florida having long since ceded the race), South Carolina’s pack of Thoroughbred Assholes have been fighting hard to maintain the Palmetto State’s title.

Two SC Republican operatives have positioned themselves for a Fantasy Threesome with a GOP gubernatorial candidate, setting her up for the GILF Crown before she even achieves office. But Nikki Haley, a comely Sikh lass who switched to the One True Religion, isn’t stopping there — she’s managed to draw in State Senator Jake Knotts for a douchebag triple-play:

Knotts says he believed Haley has been set up by a network of Sikhs and was programmed to run for governor of South Carolina by outside influences in foreign countries. He claims she is hiding her religion and he wants the voters to know about it.

“We got a raghead in Washington; we don’t need one in South Carolina,” Knotts said more than once. “She’s a raghead that’s ashamed of her religion trying to hide it behind being Methodist for political reasons.”

The fact that Knotts supports her opponent is completely irrelevant to his judgment, of course.

Report: Knotts Called Haley ‘F—ing Raghead,’ Attacked Her Religion, Family [TPM]

Oh, ewww! I don’t even want to talk about the flashbacks that horrific bag gave me. Thanks, Nojo! You’re on a roll. Just wish Mom could see the alt text.

I mentioned on another site that cannot be named, that we really should kick this State out of the union. Begin the process by transporting our mostest powerful artillery and tactical rockets to Fort Sumter, and comence the forcible secession with a firing from, as opposed to on, said Fort.

“The fact that Knotts supports her closeted gay homophobe opponent is completely irrelevant to his judgment, of course.” Fixed.

@Prommie: Hey, you had not one but TWO chances already and the feds blew it both times. SC is the only state to secede twice (the first time under Jackson).

@Prommie: Charleston is well overdue for an earthquake.

@Benedick: Nojo’s been talking about adding a rimshot button; perhaps he ought to be looking into a groan button as well.

@mellbell: Thanks for reminding me. Slow day, time for a long-delayed chore.

Right column, below the poll.

Said Mr. L on seeing picture on TPM of Nikki Haley on left and corpulent male on right, “No need to tell me who that is, it’s TruckKnotts.”

Jake Knotts is living proof that pig-faced white trash can put on a suit and tie but is still nothing more than pig-faced white trash–excuse me, willfully ignorant pig-faced white trash.

@lynnlightfoot: and, cue the rimshot!

So, if she’s a secret furrin GILF, does that make her “one Sikh fuck”?

@Nabisco: and, cue the rimshot! for “one Sikh fuck.” It’s beginning to look as if she is that.

@Jesuswalksinidaho: They do all have those little piggy eyes, the piggy jowls, there is a look to the fucking fucktards.

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