Stories We’re Ignoring In Favor of Running This Silly Video

1. Meet the New Neighbor.

Yes, Talibunny didn’t lose a moment yet again nailing herself to a cross over it, but Joe McGinniss moving in next door to write a book about her is a little creepy.

2. Meet the Old Flame.

We did touch on the South Carolina wingnut blogger who claims an affair with the South Carolina wingnut gubernatorial candidate, but we’re still waiting for him to post the goods. Evidence that a reporter was racing him to the scoop isn’t fun enough.

3. Meet the Loser.

Somewhere in Idaho there was a primary congressional candidate who was so off the wall, we couldn’t bother ourselves to help him with the federal status of Puerto Rico. If he had won, we might have had a change of heart.

4. Meet the Boring Pseudo-Scandals.

A politician who isn’t Shrub or Saint Ronnie gets his military record confused, and the New York Times pretends to be outraged. Another politician whose name will forever be associated with a Sid & Marty Krofft creature says the White House offered to buy him off with a political appointment, and Dick Morris can’t contain his orgasm.

5. Meet the Conditional, We’ll See, Ask Your Father DADT Repeal.

Actually, we were going to ignore that one anyway.


I’m hoping Palin’s neighbor/’biographer’ will build a conning tower as close to her house as possible and spend whole days up there with a telescope and binoculars that can see through clothes.

I thought wingnut SC candidate’s manager had exchanged emails about pestorking with candidate’s ex (who did not fuck her after he was married). In fact I think in one of them he says “I’m not the one who fucked her.” No news yet on when, if ever, the wingnut candidate’s rumored sex-tape she made with Michael Jackson will drop. If such a thing exists.

In other conditional news, still no news yet on the Gingrich/Ann Coulter bondage sex tape and when, if ever, it will drop. Newt denies everything but why have we heard nothing from Glenn Beck?

BTW. I’m not actually expected to watch that video am I?

and don’t read this either:
“gay blood is a threat in the military”
i must vomit and lie down.

she is a sweetheart. and there was not a cross word with my dogs.
but she is a horse.

@Capt Howdy: Well, that’s terrific. And listen. She can only get bigger.


I think she will mostly “fill out” at this point but yeah.

@Capt Howdy: You are a good person with lovely furbabies. Thanks for sharing.

@Mistress Cynica:

but not so good. I have infinite patients with dogs but zero patients with people.

Hooray!!! Compromising photos, people!!!!1

@Mistress Cynica: You wouldn’t think he was so good if you had dreams about him.

@Capt Howdy: Oh, she’s adorable! Is the pupster count now up to three?
@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Heh. The stupid, it burns.

@Benedick: Claims of compromising photos.

But ya gotta give the dude credit: He’s a better tease than Apple.

@nojo: Apple #1, bitchez!! Breaking news: Micro goes totally soft when confronted by the massive awesomeness of Steve. Number 2 Fortune 500!!! Apple conquers known world!!!

Hey, y’all! Did I miss anything? In no particular order:

Oil still flowing into the ocean? Check.

Reporters still vacillating between barrels and gallons and barrels and gallons keeping the average person (me) confused about the true magnitude of the spill? Check.

Oil about to round Florida and head up the Eastern seaboard? Maybe.

Politicians still acting douchey? Check.

DODT still not repealed? Check.

LOST finale still a piece of crap? Check.

Afghanistan and Iraq still going nuts? Check.

Jamaica still going nuts? Check.

Haiti still going nuts? Check.

Celebrities still trying to kill themselves and each other? Check.

I’m going back to what’s truly important – reality TV. See you once I catch up on Jersey Shore.

@Benedick: Yes! Love it! I’m wondering if I should try to pass as an Italian-American cougar this summer and hit up Seaside Heights. I’m learning the lingo. GTL = gym, tan, laundry. I need to buy a good work out DVD. Buns and Abs of Steel was AWESOME (esp the leotards), but I no longer have a VHS thingy. I’m thinking about Zumba or Insanity. Probably will go with Zumba.

@Benedick: The fun part of the Apple Market Cap stories is all the geeks saying it just shows how overpriced Apple stock is. Just like all those iPads flying off the shelves shows how stupid consumers are.

Both of which may be true.

But my favorite ongoing geek meme is that 200k iPhone apps shows there’s a lot of crap in the App Store. This from the people who for years trumpeted Microsoft dominance because of all the crap apps for Windows.

Which reminds me: Who am I supposed to hate this week? Guess it’s Facebook’s turn to step up.

@nojo: BP and Facebook seem to be the contenders this week.

@nojo: I mentioned that I heard two loser assholes Windows experts complaining on the radio about how lame the iPad is. And the biggest complaint was – It’s so heavy! How can anyone use it? You have to pick it up and like hold it and it’s all like heavy and shit!

@IanJ: Works for me.

@Benedick: It is a little heavier than you would expect. And then you quickly forget about it.

But the raging debate today is over an obscure feature of the programming language, which geeks swear slows down all Mac/iPhone apps to a crawl.

Never mind that, for the past ten or fifteen years, the slowest component of a computer has been the user.

@Original Andrew: Hah!

What an adorable fur family! All it needs is a bear.

Cynics’ Party TJ/ Whoa. I logged onto Disqus, and I found all of my old CP comments that I made when we were using that commenting system. Just thought I’d share in case anyone wanted to relive the good old days.

@JNOV: Sweet FSM, that’s disconcerting. As I was scrolling through my old comments, I was mostly struck by how lazy my commenting has become. For example, look at this insanely dense little beauty from days of yore:

I agree that the Repubs have mostly just averted their eyes from the dying (soused) carcass of Bush lying in the gutter as opposed to going over to spit/stomp on it. But as far as I’m concerned, the Rovian snake started devouring its tail when Psychogeezer hired the Black Baby Brigade to run his campaign.

Night and day, right?


I’ve handled a couple iPads here at the office, and it is a bit weighty. But of course if they made it a whole bunch lighter, the haters would be screaming about how it’s not “substantial”. Just can’t win with some people…

BTW, hadn’t heard about whatever folks are in a tizzy about regarding that “language defect”. Happen to have a link?

@flippin eck: No need to try to impress us with deep political insights, m’dear.

@SanFranLefty: Those comments predate our first Chicago Stinque-Ups, so I hadn’t met any of you yet and was a tad intimidated. Now you all are obligated to be nice to me, no matter how asinane my comments are, because you’re my friends. See what you did?

@flippin eck: Right? I found all sorts of stuff, and I was like, “I wrote that?”

@al2o3cr: I know this is going to make Benedick terribly horny, but it appears to be a low-level call (“objc_msgSend()”), not something you use directly in the course of programming. Gruber has a brief overview and links.

@JNOV: The Wayback Machine has many original CP comments, but it’s very slow to load.

Oh, holy hell! I had NO IDEA I was using an ethnic slur upthread. I am so sorry!

@JNOV: If it’s about Italians, a quarter of me gives you permission.

@nojo: Thanks, Nojo. I still feel pretty shitty about it.

@JNOV: But the quarter-Swede in me scolds you and plans to make a depressing existential movie about it.

@nojo: Heh. Okay – so how’s this for douchebaggery? The LOST DVD collection will contain an epilogue that supposedly will explain some of the stuff they never explained in the series. It runs about 14 minutes. I call Bullshit! and will be spearheading a boycott of the DVDs. Fucking assholes.

Not enough people around here make ethnic slurs about the English. They are the scum of the earth. Just lay off the Scots. Question: why do so many of the men in my newly rediscovered scottish family have photographs of themselves on FB wearing kilts? More to the point, why are they wearing said kilts with suspect footwear and what can only be described as shower curtains over their shoulders instead of plaids? We can’t all be gay. That would be too much to hope for.

@nojo: I laugh at your pissant Goiter. (What is that competitor called? Voim? Bingle? Wabbit? Void?) But I am so awesomely geektastic today having synched my Netflix account with the Blu-Ray player so I can stream instant crap from my computer to the flat-screen Bravia. I am so the hot geek and I don’t even live in a basement.

Must go and rescue the OH. Poor darling seems to be watching Woody Allen. He has forgotten that that is NOT ALLOWED.

@JNOV: I’m not a fanboy, but I think that’s cheating the canon. If it’s not in the series, it doesn’t count.

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