South Carolina Summer Hiking Season Opens

J.D. Hayworth, professional moron.

just saw a flier for the best band name evah.

Millimeter Peter and the Chilly Willies

Hahahahaha $illy $arah.

OK, so, in the South, ‘faithful’ is flexible enough to encompass accepting blow jobs from every internette and her pets then we can assume she did not fuck this guy but blew him, took him in her ass and accepted cunnilingus from him, right?

Inappropriate Physical Relationship = what?

Handjob?
Blowjob?
Beast-with two backs?
A Sloppy Louis?
Soft Vore?
Raboning?
Road Munch?
Tuppenny upright?
Norwegian alligator dong flop?
Dr. Spocker?
Batin’ Hoop?
Menstrubation?
Nantucket Sleighride?
Snowplow?
Crab Walk?
Cadbury’s Fingers?
White Mosquito?
Full balloon?
Ride and a rasher?

Details, people!

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Where did you learn all these terms? It’s impressive.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg:

your forgot a lucky Pierre

@Dodgerblue:

I cheated.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Damn, sounds like I should get the High School Musical DVD for the bonus features.

I want pretty. These people are not pretty. They’re hardly even human.

Ann Curry gives commencement address at Wheaton College, lists grads of wrong Wheaton College — including Billy Graham and Wes Craven.

That would be Ann Curry UO ’78. Go Beavers Ducks!

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Everything about her denial screams titfucking and pearl necklaces.

@Capt Howdy: shrinkage.

@FlyingChainSaw:

Although you must admit, most things scream titty-fucking and pearl necklaces to you guys. Ann Curry on a puff piece visiting an ice cream factory, for example. Drew Barrymore lunching at The Ivy. The state of New Hampshire. Paper Clips. Bartleby the Scrivener.

All good examples, right? Although there was something a little…starched-collar about her denial, that is true….

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: “Starched collar” screams titty fucking and pearl necklaces to me.

(do I really have to look up “Nantucket sleigh ride”? *sigh*)

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Silas Marner simply howls titfucking and pearl necklaces.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Every day with you is an education. And I mean that in the best way.

Somewhat related: a local PBS station (I have three!) has been running a great series about Appalachia. Apparently coal mining companies have been blowing up/leveling/chopping off the tops of Appalachian mountains (AKA “mountain topping”).

I also finally got around to watching Rand Paul on Rachel Maddow. He makes me ill. I had to recover by spending the afternoon gawking at Awful Plastic Surgery (a guilty pleasure) to regain a modicum of composure. If Rand is elected, I dunno. I guess I’ll have lost all Hope™.

ADD: Guess it’s time to catch up on The Hills. Shut it!

@Benedick: @Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Where the hideous cretin who calls him “Sic Willie” is concerned, a handshake would be inappropriate physical contact.

I hiked Clingman’s Dome!

@JNOV: JNOV, thank God thats limited to WV and the northern valley and ridge, the southern appalachians only have to worry about clear-cutting. Have you ever seen the strip-mining areas of eastern Kentucky?

@Promnight:

Congrats~! Is that hard?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Thats a wonderful list of sex acts, and, in the spirit of Julie and Julia and Blogenfreude’s cooking project, I am of a mind to work my way through that recipe list. I just recently attempted the “morning joint shower knee-trembler,” it worked so well I am still glowing 2 days later.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: No, not at all, I never attempt anything difficult, that would so smack of striving. It was beautiful, though. Smoky Mountain National Park is amazing, and right nearby, you have Pigeon Forge, and Dollywood, what more could you want?

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Catt, have you ever heard of “bate rape?” Its when you masturbate to the thought of someone, especially someone who would be creeped out knowing you masturbated while fantasizing to them, and then you tell them.

Or, a personal favorite, “The Stranger,” thats when you sit on your hand until it falls asleep and you can’t feel it, then masturbate with that hand, it feels like someone else jerking you off, good times.

@Promnight:

Ah, I’d skip the white mosquito and the full balloon. Just a friendly tip.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I assume “docking” is right out, then?

@Promnight: I can’t be sure (not enough data after 5 weeks of Julia recipes) but I think the sex improves with each dish. I’ll let you know for sure after Veal Prince Orloff.

The sign in the photos is at the North Carolina / Tennessee border, not South Carolina.