Oh, Sure, Blame the Spider
“A tourist’s holiday skinny dip turned sour after he was reportedly bitten on the penis by a venomous spider. The 22-year-old Canadian fell asleep in the sand dunes after swimming nude at a beach in New Zealand’s far north. He woke to find his penis swollen and painful, with a bite mark on the shaft.” [Sydney Morning Herald, via CheapBoy]
Just imagine what would happen if he fell asleep naked at the GOP National Convention.
Some pictures of this naked 22 year old Canadian would be helpful…
Canadian Tourist
Sat on a towel,
Exposing his curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside him
And bit down and inflamed his whey.
In related not-Australian news, I’m happy to see Rhys Darby making some change pitching for… um… IBM? Whatever.
@nojo: HP? I’m pretty sure it’s HP.
Clicking on this post made the not-msnbc ad change from girl in pretty, pretty dress to cockroaches.
@mellbell: I think you’re right. But it shows what they taught me in J-school advertising class decades ago: If you don’t make the brand the star, you’re in trouble.
Wait, are they sure it was a spider? Where is cheapboy lately anyway?
Wait, Canadians have penises? I did not know that.
Wait, was this Canadian just hired to carry somebody’s bags?
@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Wasn’t me. I’ve had a change, so to speak. Would be lipstick marks not a bite mark. :)
@CheapGirl: No way! Congratulations?
@CheapBoy: Great. Now I have to redo the demographics for the advertisers.
Thanks folks. But not had the re-assignment surgery. Just realised that I’m not a male, and wishing I had more hair.
And looking at shoes in shop windows is now a joy rather than a chore.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…