Video Wars

I was exposed to this video during the Great Video War of 2007.  If you can find something worse (and it’s probably Japanese) post a link in the comments.  But be forewarned – I have other weapons in my cache. Don’t make me hurt you.


That gal has a face for radio. :)

@al2o3cr: Like the Car Guys say – they have faces made for radio.

Well, not to beat the Juggalo meme to death, but this video makes lemonade out of two smart-as-lemons rappers. The only miracle I see is that their kids actually look like them, cuz FSM knows that they wouldn’t be coming near me with their Csiromedusa medeopolae.

And then there’s this parody of this horrific thing.

Related to the earlier story on the teabag takeover of the Maine GOP platform:

Republicans search schoolroom, remove pro-labor teaching materials

This is apparently the room that was occupied by the crazies earlier in the convention…

@JNOVjr: More like JerkEm. Since when did Fox news stations start using The Onion as a source?

@JNOVjr: Should have been clear – I need the worst music video you’ve ever seen. Hurt me …

This one’s from the early of the 80s. Song’s alright, but the video… meh.

@ManchuCandidate: Tried the link – not available in the US of A … you Canadians get all the breaks.

Still getting the “not available here” warning … they’re probably still pissed at us for the Bush years.

Damn Canada City laws or US America ones.

Another one. Yeah, I slow danced to this one as a kid, but the video is…

Literal version

@blogenfreude: Here’s an example of when the ethnics should keep their music and their videos entirely separate.

But really, any Eurovision clip is pretty awful.

@JNOV: Don’t rat me out.

Here you go, Bloggie.

@JNOVjr: You can’t pull out your most powerful weapon in an initial exchange (GEEZE THAT HURT) … perhaps I have something to counter you ….

@JNOV: I considered looking that one up… I kinda cheated, too, though, since mine was also on Tosh.0. Granted, I was aware of the song long before that…

@blogenfreude: That’s pretty much all I got, anyway. There is this, but I think it leans more towards the “FUCKAWESOME” side. Actually, I might have more if animated videos count…

@JNOV: A guy that looks half-decent with his shirt off? Failed you have, my young apprentice.

Wow, is that woman in bloggie’s video ugly or what?

@JNOVjr: That is properly awful … but my next post will be a righteous smackdown.

@blogenfreude: Oh shit – embed disabled … but feast your eyes, and ears, on this trainwreck.

I was unable to find any video link, but the Vic Damone music video of MacArthur Park (actor Richard Harris’s odd hit) is truly bizarre.

It was directed by Ray Dennis Steckler, aka “Cash Flagg” (and no, that’s not his porn name: “Cindy Lou Sutters” was his porn name), the absolute lamest director of all time. I took a film class from him at UNLV 30+ years ago and not only had to sit through several of his lame feature films starring his narcoleptic singer/actress wife/ex (Carolyn Brandt, whose scenes had little or no relationship to anything else in the film); but also a series of incredibly boring short films and music videos. This included perhaps the first San Francisco music videos, poor quality super 8 footage of a live concert & light show by the Jefferson Airplane with album tracks dubbed over. Boring and annoying.

The highlight of the class was getting to see his Vic Damone / MacArthur Park video, actually filmed in MacArthur Park in L.A. (One of my favorite places as a child in L.A.. I had no inkling at the time that it was a notorious cruising area and tearoom. I just loved the paddle boats & ducks.) The video acts out the treacle filled lyrics, with various June Taylor Dancers types spinning in and out on cue.

While it was hilariously stupid, it was not dreadfully boring like the rest of his work. A missing gem of lameness.

@ManchuCandidate: The Glee kids did a cover of that song week before last which is now burning up the charts on iTunes (along with their renditions of “Jessie’s Girl” and “Ice Ice Baby”). It’s gotten to the point where, if you’re a mostly forgotten 80s/90s musician, Glee is your golden ticket back to semi-relevancy.

@blogenfreude: Oh man, I’ve seen that before. I can’t remember where, though. In any case, I think I might end up losing this fight, but I refuse to concede. I’m really much better at finding awesome on the internet than I am at finding lame :/

@JNOVjr: Padawan, you should concede, at least for this evening. Tomorrow, we will resume your training. Snatch this video from my hand, grasshopper.

@JNOV: Doesn’t count … if you make a video knowing it will be awful, it doesn’t count.

@blogenfreude: You totally keep moving the goal posts.

Here’s a fun one from the 80s.

Okay, and here’s Neneh Cherry.

And the Neneh Cherry antidote. Jr — I was doing this dance when I was pregnant with you.

@JNOV: You see goal posts that have been moved … I see an ante that’s been upped. Post a video that beats me about the head and face … do that, and I will admit defeat.

@blogenfreude: Okay, fine. Here you’ve got rainbow wigs, merkins, fake moles, pirates, bikers and waaay too many extras.

@JNOVjr: Is there a big internet following for some kind of Pink Power Rangers fetish I somehow didn’t know about? Damn, that was hawt!

@blogenfreude: That was fucking fabulous. How does it work?

@blogenfreude: You’re avoiding comments on my ethnical entries, which I have to assume means you are threatened. This should get points for having backing singers/dancers/players who mimic Flock of Seagulls ten years before the Seagulls even existed.

I just can’t compete with you bottom scrapers. So here is one of the most awesome videos.

Oh and JNOV Jr, you totally need to check out the B’hole Surfers; I think both RML and Prom will back me up on this one.

@Nabisco: The Surfers are right next to the Crucifucks on my shelf.

@Nabisco: I’ll back you up on that one as well. Always loved that video, not that I’m a music video connoisseur.

Butthole Surfers are probly the best thing that ever came out of Texas (OK, second to SFL and Jaimie). I remember the first time I heard Locust Abortion Technician in the early (mid?) 80’s. Was a revelation.

Yes, son.
What does regret mean?
Well son, the funny thing about regret is that it’s better to regret
something you have done than
to Regret something that you haven’t done
And by the way, If you see your mom this weekend, will you be sure and
tell her…

And don’t forget the Holes’ classic cover of a classic, Hurdy Gurdy Man.

I think that was just when morphing became economical, I remember some awesome examples on the CD cover…?

@JNOV: To be clear, you’re saying the video is horrific, not Bonnie Tyler or the song itself. Si?

@al2o3cr: a poster outlining the history of the US labor movement was missing, replaced with a bumper sticker that reads, “Working People Vote Republican”

Unfortunately that bumper sticker was probably more educational than some poster commemorating the extinct “labor movement”. It just needs the question appended: “WHY?”

Though, I’ve always had a gut reaction to terms like “working people” and “working class”. Y’know, 99% of us are “working class” of some kind, even if the work we do doesn’t entail getting our fingernails dirty. It always galls me when my “liberal”, educated, upper-middle-class friends use that casual label to designate some “other” segment of the US American population, usually as shorthand for “ignorant unwashed masses”, as if their (and my) own jobs don’t involve labor or enslavement to the oligarchy.

@JNOV: I lurve “Groove Is In The Heart”! That was the jam when I was in college.

Hanging with you kids is quite educational.

What have I learned tonight?

Some videos are like train wrecks that you can’t look away from.

Whereas others cannot be escaped rapidly enough.

Most surprisingly of all, I learned that I love Butthole Surfers!

@karen marie: Most surprisingly of all, I learned that I love Butthole Surfers!


In a way, we are all Butthole Surfers. And Noj’, you da man – I hope you have the Carpenters in a Butthole/Crucifucks sandwich on that shelf!

@Nabisco: Not avoiding – it’s called falling asleep on the couch.

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