We’re Just Getting a Loud Buzzing Noise in Our Left Ear

‘Tis it Saint Pidgeon’s Day already? Oh, ’tis,’tis.

Time tuh slep down’t thuh pub ‘n get pissed wit all thuh toddy wankers.

this is cool

10 Most Incredible Eyes in the Animal Kingdom

guess who is number one

The loud buzzing noise in my ears is BOLT THROWER doing NO GUTS NO GLORY!!!

metal!

\m/,

NOOZ: Voters claiming disenfranchisement because they didn’t get a ballot before they closed the door at 10pm. And with the whole hung parliament thing, those votes could have been fairly pivotal.

Already there’s talk of — LAWSUITS. Ruh-roh.

@chicago bureau: Yes, but it will no doubt unfold in a delightfully polite manner.

ADD: the title of this post is generating an ad asking me if I suffer from tinnitus. Funny…

Speaking of ringing in ears — What the FUCK happened to the stock market today? I’m hearing things that some guy at Citi wrote out an order for billions of stocks, as opposed to “millions” — and everything went haywire. I mean…. FUCK!

@chicago bureau: Greece. Then everyone seemed to say “Nevermind”.

Bless those dear funny Limeys and their funny elections. As if anyone give A FUCK.

/Stinque Assignment TJ/

I’ve been ready to move on to a new job for a while, so I check listings for media jobs from time to time. I came upon a listing today (posted yesterday) for senior media associate in DC that I’m qualified-ish for. The catch? It’s for the Heritage Foundation! So the question is: Would I have the fortitude to try to be hired in as a mole?? Think of the info and people I would have access to and could report on! But think of the price to my values, my brain, even my digestion (i.e. fighting the urge to throw up daily). So what say you, Stinquers? Should I give it a go?

@flippin eck: In my experience, working for Satan is always a bad idea.

@flippin eck:
Apply just for the hell of it. Who knows?

I’ve read enough real life stories of undercover cops and espionage agents to vaguely know in a Sarah Palin like way that it won’t be easy to manage a double life.

If you do decide to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight then one suggestion is to erase/hide as much of your internet trail as possible.

@flippin eck: The bad guys don’t need your help.

@chicago bureau: A wormhole hit the market around 2:30, confirming Hawking’s worst fears.

@flippin eck: I’m with Manchu; apply and see what happens. A lefty friend works for AEI — who make Heritage look eminently reasonable — and he actually kind of likes the challenge of it. Plus, you’d be in DC, which would be awesome!

@flippin eck: Apply, then share the rejection letter. No, I don’t think you’re unqualified, I just think they’ll google “Flippin” and “bunnies”, learn that there are no teen boys involved, and give you the one page “thanks but no thanks”.

OTOH, we could help you stinquesource the cover letter which would be awesome.

If you’re looking to relocate to DC and want to parlay that experience in Georgia into a place with the Feds, give me a holla IRL.

Annnnd, with 76 seats remaining to be decided, the Tories are still 51 shy of a clear majority. How hung is your Parliament?

@flippin eck: Can you take it as a temp job?

@flippin eck: I say “avoid at all costs.” At least for me, that would be tantamount to slipping myself into the tight jacket and letting the nice gents in the white coats take me away to the rubber room.

I wouldn’t even apply. Do you really want those douchebuckets knowing your name, address and work history? Rather, do you really want to deliver that knowledge to them without even making them pay a private dick a couple hundred to dig it up?

@flippin eck: I ‘m with the ‘no’ crowd. If I might make it be about me for a moment (hooray!) it would be like writing for the soaps. You can’t do that well unless you like them. Otherwise you’re merely trimming your sails to fit their jib (WTF?). The only way I could see it working is if you get the book deal up front and have a safe space where you can check out what Shelley’s wearing. But even then, I don’t think it’s worth it. There will be other jobs in DC that suit you better. Besides, how would it look on your resume and how would you explain it to future cool groovy places of employ where you really want to work?

BTW. Bless them! So cute with their ‘democracy’ and such as! Have they heard of hanging chads? Have they heard of roll purging or voter caging? Do they even know whp Lee Attwater was? I think not.

What is the only thing we need to hear the UK PM say? “I sniff Yanqui bum and I like it!” There now, that wasn’t so hard.

@flippin eck: All wage labor is a sellout anyway, so why the fuck not. Go, take the job, and do it poorly, if at all, and bleed the beast by taking your salary. Become the Wally of the office, the expert in shirking and coasting. yay!

@All: I was asking mostly in jest because I really wouldn’t have the stomach (or the poker face) to work for an organization that represented the opposite of my own ideals and opinions. But it was a fun thought experiment for a few minutes, and it was kind of appealing to consider being the Deep Cover Stinquer on Assignment.

As much as I love Chicago and would prefer to stay if I could, the publishing market here is crap. And DC has some appealing career possibilities simply because they have so many government orgs and NGOs there and all of them need people who can wrangle words and sentences (and some of them even have money to put toward decent salaries!). So ‘Bisco, I may hit you up privately for your thoughts on what sort of trouble an editor cum Peace Corps alum could get into there.

@flippin eck: Beesco will probably steer you toward a job that requires you to run the El Presidente pistol drill*, field strip a Glock 19 blindfolded and blow through a roadblock in your LandRover, plus have current skills in writing, editing, graphic design and social media.

* Upon the starting signal, the shooter turns and draws, fires 2 shots each at three targets, reloads, then fires two more shots at each target.

Speaking of jobs, cross your fingers for me — I applied for an adjunct position at one of a neighboring state’s schools. Professional references are coming in, and my references like me — they really like me! Also looking for other work of any stripe to supplement the adjunct pay, to get me out of this here commonwealth and to get me out of this crappidty apartment.

Also, I deleted my account from le libre des façades. You guys have my email address, right?

@JNOV: Buena suerte.

@flippin eck: If you’re interested in Dee Cee, lemme know. I know peeps there.

@SanFranLefty: My friend is close to Bo.

ADD: Or was. Her current gig is a big fucking deal, director of operations for the VPOTUS. She called herself the highest ranking lesbian and Hispanic in his office at an awards ceremony thrown by the GLBT community in Colorado last month.

@JNOV: Yay for you!! I have your mail, your skype, even your phone somewhere. And of course, we always have stinque. If you need a personal reference IRL, I’m there as well.

@redmanlaw: Rumors of my badassness are greatly exaggerated. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this current gig, I’m much more comfortable with the humanitarians than I am with the TS/SCI folks. And everything I learned about Glocks, high speed counterthreat driving and sucking chestwounds has remain unused, and largely forgotten.

@flippin eck: The HumAffairs world always needs good writers, and I suspect that SFL has more active and wider contacts, but I do knows me some people. We’ll fix you up, but personally, if it weren’t for the work I’d totally avoid DeeCee. There are at least two solid orgs in Portland, neither of which involves sports apparel.

@SanFranLefty: @Nabisco: Heh. This is how I envision your letters of reference:

Dear Friend in City Other Than Chicago,
I can unequivocally recommend my friend Flippin Eck for a position. She only misspells words in about half of her posts, and she shares lovely pictures of her bunnies from time to time.
Sincerely,
Nabisco/SFL

Seriously though, I’m pretty intrigued by possiblities on either coast (despite my wholesome Midwestern upbringing) and I’m very touched by your offers to share IRL contacts, etc. We’ll talk offline.

@flippin eck: Come to the West Coast! EssEff! Portland! Seattle! and even if you can bear it, El Ay.

Don’t go to DeeCee!

Bunnehs!

@SanFranLefty: and even if you can bear it, El Ay.

That’s what Sandy Eggo is for.

@nojo: Yeah, but too many Republicans in Sandy Eggo and O.C.

@SanFranLefty: Gracias!

@Nabisco: <3

@SanFranLefty: Yeah, but once you get used to the USMC car stickers that look an awful lot like NRA car stickers, it’s not so bad.

@SanFranLefty: No wingnut infestation in the parts of town I hang out. Very much like Eugene in certain critical respects. (Read: small-business coffeehouses, organic store with Nancy’s Yogurt.)

@flippin eck: The rabbits would disapprove of the Heritage Foundation.

@Nabisco: Living on the rez should count for something in terms of foreign experience, I think. BTW, I picked up a trauma pack with a clotting agent to carry in my range bag/hunting pack in addition to the standard first aid kit In Case Something Goes Wrong. Stuff, more stuff, extra stuff, spare extra stuff.

@JNOV: I put an NRA sticker on my Obama sticker on my truck over the round logo on the left side. I should post a pic.

@flippin eck:

I’m relieved that you’re not really gonna do it. A gal in my Hapkido class works at the (UGH!) Discovery Institute, and it’s been so frakkin’ hard for me to keep my mouth shut about that.

@JNOV:

Bon chance, love!

@redmanlaw: Do I need a snakebite kit? We are reputed to have timber rattlers and copperheads. I was perfectly fine till a park ranger brought it up. I’m not so worried about bear. I’ll sing to them. That should scare the bejesus out of them.

@flippin eck: Portland! Portland! Portland!

@flippin eck:
the areas loss. but I get the work thing.

@Benedick: Getcha snake bit ass to a hospital asap. See these snakebite tips from New York Search and Rescue. Texas A&M follows the same guidelines except they call for use of a venom extractor, but that’s because they’re Texans.

Also, keeping a can of bear whoop ass around is not a bad idea. I have one on my hunting and hiking pack.

Venom, “Raise the Dead.” Dudes were influential in the development of thrash/speed metal, and the name of their second album gave the world the term “Black Metal.”

@redmanlaw: Oh great. Now I’m never leaving the house.